Chapter 4: How I Cheated God; Morty 1 v Angel 0

"You might be asking, 'How did I cheat God and flip the system on its head?' Simple: pick an option that gives you everything you want."

I stare at the list before me, overwhelmed by possibilities. "So, the moment I pick a clan, I'm already assigned a backstory and a set of skills. But... I'd also get tangled in clan politics and lose my freedom. Is that about right?"

"More or less." My angelic guidance counselor—cooler than I expected—shrugs casually.

"Yeah, thought so." I sigh. "Okay, what about chakra natures? What level of mastery would I have?"

"The one you choose would be your main chakra nature," the angel explains. "But your mastery will still be at a beginner level. Can't have you summoning Sage Art Wood Release: True Several Thousand Hands at age ten, now, can we?"

"Fair enough," I muse.

Honestly, it seems pointless to even bother with a nature transformation now. As long as I find some chakra paper, I'll know my element. Get a decent teacher, and I'm guaranteed to master it eventually.

I glance back at the list. Sharingan or Uzumaki powers would be cool, sure, but I'd be painting a giant target on my back. Plus, picking something that obvious feels... cheap. I want my own adventure—not some fanboy dream. Besides... I'm poor. (Cue the mental tears.)

The angel breaks my train of thought. "Still deciding? Remember, using your karma points for chakra or a main character's body will cost you big time."

"Right. But what about characters from other franchises? Can I choose their abilities? What are my limits?"

The angel tilts his head, intrigued. "You can pick from other fictional characters, but their individual 'Will of the Hero' might make them too expensive."

"What if I just want an attribute, not their appearance? Would that be cheaper? And would I get to pick my own appearance afterward?"

For the first time, the angel looks genuinely confused. "Huh... that's not a question I hear often. But yes, it depends on the attribute. For example, Satoru Gojo's Six Eyes would cost most of your points—it's wildly unbalanced in a chakra-based world."

Bingo.

"Alright, then," I say, grinning. "I want Bulma Briefs' knowledge at the end of her life and the soul of Jaden Yuki."

The angel's jaw drops. "Huh??"

His reaction is priceless. He leans forward, wide-eyed, clearly processing my bizarre request. After a moment, he strokes his chin thoughtfully. "Okay... but you do realize stacking another soul onto yours is risky, right? You could lose control of your body."

"I'm sure."

"Fine. Bulma's knowledge will cost most of your points. You'll acquire the skill gradually—"

"Wait." I interrupt, grinning like a fox. "I didn't ask for Bulma's skill. I asked for her knowledge. There's a difference."

The angel narrows his eyes, realizing his slip-up. I hold his gaze, my grin widening.

Why, you ask? Because skills are learned, but attributes—like knowledge—are inherent. With this little loophole, I inherit Bulma's entire lifetime of experience. Meaning I don't need to spend 20 years learning them or require a system that makes me build up my knowledge. No trial and error. No 'building up.' Just instant genius. And since I also chose Jaden Yuki's soul, I gain his reincarnator's luck—and his appearance. All with ten points to spare.

The angel bursts out laughing. "Whahaha! Five!" he wheezes, clutching his stomach. "That's the fifth time in centuries a mortal has tricked me with wordplay!"

Still chuckling, he regains composure. "Alright, what's your last move? You've got ten points left."

"I want to join the Onikuma Clan," I say, straight-faced.

The angel blinks, recovering from his confusion. "Alright, you'll have your power and knowledge when you arrive. Have fun!"

Before I can reply, I'm flung downward like a rocket. Hundreds—no, thousands—of feet. Ever ridden the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit at Universal? It's 167 feet tall with a 65 mph drop. This makes that look like a kiddie slide.

Flashback Ends

I jolt awake, gasping for air, only to feel a massive weight pressing on my chest. Memories flood in: I'm in the body of a boy from Naruto. The child of prophecy, Uzumaki Naruto. And I chose this world—a place where adults send kids to kill for money and call it "protecting the village." Great job, me.

"GET THIS THING OFF ME!" I scream, thrashing.

Suddenly, my eyes glow ominous yellow. A dark, shadowy mist engulfs my hands as black veins crawl up my arms and across my body. My clan's Hiden technique activates, and with a burst of strength, I crush the boulder pinning me.

I collapse, panting. My head pounds like a war drum. "Ugh. Someone get me a raw egg, two shots of hot sauce, aspirin... and maybe a gun to put me out of my misery."

The acrid smell of crushed rock makes my stomach churn. I hurl violently. Note to self: my Hiden technique is a bit rough on the body.

I stagger upright and call out, "System."

Nothing happens.

"System?" I try again. Silence.

"Status? Golden finger? Cultivation?" That last one was a joke, but still—nothing.

I take a deep breath, shaking off the frustration. I don't need it. I know who I am.

Let me know if you'd like further tweaks!