Chapter 16.

Lying on a hospital bed, I reasoned, this time the Arctic fox crept quite close, and even put one paw on his shoulder. If I had not had time to activate the skill, if my intuition had not prompted to generate pathos after each wound, if Hinata's father had lingered for a second. In general, there are a lot of "ifs", without all this I would have been feeding the worms. But the most unpleasant thing is that, despite complete invulnerability, he could not do anything to the enemy. The difference in strength is too great. But even if now I go swing like a Korean gamer, it will still be of little use. It is not always possible to win with superiority in stats . Tested on two Uchiha . Although they were stronger and faster than me, this did not save them from unexpected attacks. Then he won thanks to his lineups.

So why not adopt this method. If the enemy is stronger, use a composition that will weaken him, and so on. So now it's worth getting down to cooking something killer.

While I was lying in the hospital, I looked at the Hokage , though I quickly dumped when I began to eat out his brain. But judging by the questions, everyone decided that I appeared there literally a few seconds before Hiashi . Well, yes, who in their right mind would assume that a kid who did not even enter the academy will be able to tie an experienced jounin in a fight for five minutes.

Although most likely not so experienced, now, after thinking a little, I realized that he did not get confused, and if he thought about the situation a little, they would bury me. After all, all that was required then was simply to tie me up, and no pathos would have helped, but he was confused, and this is the result. I was just lucky, so the award of ten luck is very indicative.

But I know perfectly well from my past life that luck manages to end at the most inopportune moment. It's not my desire to survive after all those terrible and dangerous situations in which I have been in recent times, and to die from the fact that a flower pot falls on my head. Therefore, it is necessary to stop leaving dangerous situations on one luck, and start preparing what can surprise the enemy, preferably deadly.

So, as soon as I got out of the hospital, engaged in experiments and bringing to mind a liquid version of the debuff "sharp diarrhea." After all, this rubbish begins to act even when it comes into contact with the skin. This I wanted to use to catch those who steal my tincture. The plan was simple and ingenious, to coat the handles on the doors and windows, and the bottles themselves.

But the thieves never got caught, unlike me. Well, I forgot when I was awake that I had smeared the window handle and opened the window to ventilate, as a result the drowsiness instantly disappeared, and I teleported to the toilet. Where one achievement worked and it dawned on me, because this tool can be used as a weapon. Lubricate senbon with it and one small scratch and the enemy has already been withdrawn from the battle for two hours, or greatly lost in combat effectiveness. If I had this remedy while rescuing Hinata, I would have already figured out what to buy for that jоуnin's soul crystal .

Speaking of Hinata, my reputation with her rose as promised, but I didn't manage to see her. But nothing, I hope my reputation doesn't drop too much before we meet at the academy. And there I will not be stupid like Narik , but I will pay attention to Hinata. The main thing is that a start has been made, and then it goes along the knurled one.

In addition to creating compositions for all occasions, he took up the self-generated quest "Cure the Private Gopher". Still, being looked after is a survival benefit, and with the frequency with which I manage to get myself into trouble, I need a whole platoon of gophers. But for the first time one will be enough , there is no hope for this bird that Sumire took .

To my deepest regret, I didn't manage to get the Gopher's medical card. And accordingly, it was impossible to find out from what he needed to be treated. But I did not give up, for a start I gave him the purchased potions of minor healing and regeneration. It turned out to be quite easy for him to drink the potion, after all, after his attempts to jump out the window, the orderlies securely fixed him, and the bed was screwed to the floor. But the potions did not work, the Gopher remained in the hospital. Then it was necessary to apply a wider range of potions from a liquid version of the debuff "sharp diarrhea" ending is not known how to get the highest potion of healing. Although it is known, all thanks to the achievement received after the creation of Sumire . Now I do it from time to time, sometimes the properties are additional, then in general, instead of a remedy for a cold, a potion of higher healing.

I also prepared myself a set of very different compositions and potions. But among them there was nothing that could surely help in a collision with superior forces. The composition of "sharp diarrhea" sneaked through anyone, but only to inflict it on the victim if she surpasses you in speed and just dodges is problematic. For such gloomy thoughts, I was pouring the composition into bubbles, and through inattention spilled a little into my hand. The result was not long in coming. Two hours in the outhouse. And there I was visited by a brilliant idea, to make the composition "severe diarrhea", a gaseous version. It is much more difficult to dodge a cloud of smoke, but you can disguise it as a smoke bomb, then no one will even dodge .

The development of an improved version took almost two weeks, it was even necessary to score for the Gopher's treatment. And then one day (a day that most of Konoha's residents will try to forget) I did it. I just didn't calculate a little, and when the final component was added, the entire considerable volume of the saucepan with the composition turned into gas.

I crawled out of the toilet only towards evening, with another brilliant idea, and it consisted in the fact that first the antidote should be cooked, and only then everything else.

Developing an antidote turned out to be even more difficult than making the same compound. And the biggest difficulty was that the effectiveness of the antidote had to be tested. Naturally, I didn't want to test myself, it was enough that time when I had a one percent chance to cook hell knows what. The system labeled "small phial Fuck knows what", but only when I shook the bottle, the system issued a "potion of increasing a random indicator by one hundred units." Naturally, I immediately knocked the bottle into myself. In vain. As tests with similar compositions later showed, this rubbish completely changes its composition with each shaking, and anything can turn out. Then I drank the composition too harshly, and its composition changed to a potion of severe depression. For four hours he poured out his soul to the system, complained about life, lamented how worthless I was, along the way destroying the supply of moonshine. The system even counted the completion of the hidden quest for me , and gave me the award "A set of knives for hara-kiri" with detailed instructions, and use the postscript only for its intended purpose.

I was let go when I had already unpacked the set.

After this incident, I swore to experience something on myself. The Gopher was appointed as a volunteer test officer, he is still terminally ill, and so at least he will serve science.

- Gopher, your sacrifice will not be forgotten, I and many generations of shinobi will remember your heroism and dedication with which you helped in the creation of this miracle cure. - I pushed a fiery speech, at the same time putting on the nightstand the bubbles with the antidote and the composition.

The gopher probably wanted to thank him for his trust, but the gag with a built- in funnel hindered him a little.

Thirty-six versions of the antidote turned out to be ineffective, and they also gave a bunch of side effects, oh, how many healing potions were spent for resuscitation.

But now I have an antidote, and the moon is no longer afraid of me. And one more very pleasant news, the Gopher recovered, apparently that last potion of complete detoxification of the body helped , although there was an additional side effect - indifference plus a thousand. But from what I was able to find out, the Gopher is alive and well and returned to service.

To celebrate, I decided to take care of my inner world. I have long wanted to change or add something, but there was no time. But it turned out to be not so easy, but after all, as they wrote, I tensed a little and presented and was ready, instead of the sewer, a blooming park. Everybody is fooling around, it just took me a lot of time and effort to punch a passage in the wall and then still struggled with the surrounding darkness for every square meter of space. Well, of course, I didn't have a blooming park. Instead of trees and bushes, there were mushrooms, very specific, the leg was like meat and the cap was like a brain and complemented the picture of a lake and a river made of blood. And all this under a purple sky with green clouds. I had to suffer a lot over all this, thinking over every detail, otherwise everything created quickly blurred.

Now the exit from the den of my xenomorph cockroaches was at the foot of the mountain in the center of the island, which was surrounded by a forest of giant mushrooms. But seeing how happy my xenomorph cockroaches were, he did not spare the effort spent. In addition, the system showed an increase in fortitude and will by five.

Later he recaptured an even larger area of ​​space, but since there was no time and the main strength to equip it, the sea was created there. It was quite ordinary, not bloody, and the island itself was now flying over this sea, as well as several smaller islands. While these small islands were empty, just pieces of stone. But soon he hoped to create a unique ecosystem for each.

This activity was very good at distracting and calming. Still, if you constantly engage in the extermination of mobs and cooking compounds and potions, you can go crazy. I don't have normal communication anyway , Tsukiko and Yasuka don't count. The first and the dead chatter, and the second without comment, the name speaks for itself.

So in my inner world, I arranged such a kind of rest.

After he received the antidote and cured the Gopher, the routine began, training, hiking in barriers and cooking compounds. The only thing that brought variety was the occasional formulations with additional properties, or something else at all. More often it was absolutely useless, but sometimes it turned out that I wanted to jump for joy, and at the same time bang my head against the wall from the understanding that it would not be possible to repeat it. It is good that for cooking I used a fairly voluminous container and even taking into account the fact that the volume of the final product decreased many times over, it was possible to get from two to five servings. Unfortunately , it was impossible to predict when the probability would work, so I often buried a bunch of expensive ingredients and got an acne remedy or something like that, although opposite situations took place.

I was especially finished off by the fact that when I decided to cook borscht, instead of borscht, I received a higher love potion instead of borscht. From the description it followed that the potion was not completed, to complete it, it was necessary to add the blood of the person on whom the love spell would be carried out, and after that the victim should be drunk. As with the sex change potion, the effect of this potion is irreversible, with the exception of divine intervention, well, it does not affect the gods and entities equal to them . It's a pity, because as soon as I saw him I already imagined how I would give Kaguya a drink .

Although if you think soberly, then she bangs me a hundred times before I approach her. And it is too wasteful to experiment with converting it into a gaseous form, I only got four portions, besides, even if I succeed, then suddenly the wind will change and someone else will be affected. And it will be good if this someone turns out to be female, and if not. Brrr . So let's put it off until better times, for other rare potions. They can come in handy for taking terrible revenge.

In the not very near future I will have a meeting with Minato's student and godfather. Regarding the first, what can I say about Kakashkin , from what I saw in the anime, he is dog shit. The fact that he never helped Naruto already lowers him to the level of the baseboard, because I saw him a couple of times and he never helped anything, neither explicitly nor secretly. And after all, that he should have thrown a couple of bills on food, or these very food.

Yes, I got more help from Danzo , and he is here for the head-bastard actually. After all, judging by the fact that the third did not give up his attempts to add me to ramen, then my neighbor was not sent to them. Thanks to her, I no longer have to arrange a masquerade when buying groceries, no, of course, you can eat what I buy in a game store, but then conspiracy flies to hell, and the savings are also good. Plus she helps with cleaning, washing, and cooking. If I hadn't seen what was in her reputation, I thought that despite her name, she was the sweetest, kind and caring girl in the world. And all this against the background of the attitude towards me in the whole village. If I had no knowledge of her real attitude to me, then immediately upon reaching adulthood, I would have dragged down the aisle.

But going back to my possible future sensei, I remember very well those series and the bells test. I have nothing against the test, it is, in principle, completely normal. But here's the execution. This is what Kakashkin did . He made Naruto look like a complete idiot in front of his teammates who didn't really respect that much, but after what he saw at all. After all, he even knocked Sakura out with a technique, and Naruto simply humiliated. And in the end he said that Naruto did the least, and this is given the fact that Sakura, even not a single kunai at Kakashkin, did not throw and merged from genjutsu . I am generally silent about further training, since there was no such training.

Now, if he tries to do this with me, revenge will be terrible. I will not regret, and I will give Gai a love spell imprisoned on Kakashkin , let him learn about the new facets of the POWER of YOUTH.

Jiraiya is generally a godfather, and he deeply does not care about the fate of the godson.

Learning to summon looked like an assassination attempt. Threw off a cliff and dumped, it will turn out - good, no, well, okay. An ingenious pedagogical method. And teaching the Rasengan looked like you were wearing a cool, but completely useless technique. In my humble opinion, if I was able to get close to the enemy at the strike distance, then it is easier to poke him with a kunai . The Rasengan , of course, has better penetrating power, but the enemy will dodge an order of magnitude longer so as not to fall under such a technique, and the kunai can be smeared with such a poison that the damage from the Rasengan nervously smokes on the sidelines. Recently at the auction I saw such a cool poison, from one drop of which the archdemon will throw back his hooves, and the archangel will glue his wings together in a couple of seconds.

Without the flight of the thunder god, the Rasengan is just a finishing technique. Of course his advanced version is cool and useful, but you better teach him a couple of wind techniques.

I was distracted from my thoughts by a strange rustle and the sound of the door opening. Looking out into the corridor, I saw.

- Sumire .

- Bulk Bulk

- Sumire !

- Bulk Bulk !

- SUMMER !!!

- BULL BULL !!!

****

The picture of a blond boy and a tentacle monster running towards each other had a different effect on the few witnesses . The gopher (yes, after being discharged from the hospital, he asked to change his callsign), after all that he had experienced, he comprehended Zen, and he didn't care at all. For the first time in a long time, observers from the root experienced emotions and expressed them in a measured tapping of their heads against a tree, as their colleague from ANBU used to do, who was now sitting on a nearby tree drinking tea, which made the impacts against the tree louder and more frequent. The system gave out a blue screen from such a spectacle, and having requisitioned five bottles of moonshine from the inventory of the culprit in her shattered state of mind, began to bustle in the hope of forgetting what she saw.