…
"Please don't tell me you want another Mage Gauntlet. I hate working with Leona-sama." Crozzo groaned as soon he saw me enter his shop. Oi, bastard, what kind of greeting is that? The shop was bigger than I remembered. Probably because I contracted him for supplies for my former business. Hopefully Fels wouldn't feel too bad about losing his source of weapons just a day after he gets his hands on my former enterprise. I'm sorry, but managers and bosses need to be adaptable. Think of your sudden lack of weapons and armor as your first true challenge in the realm of corporations, Final Boss-san. "Do you know how long it took me make all those Magic Resistant clothes with her? Too long!"
"Long enough for you to forget Rakia is coming here to try and bring you in by force?" I took a seat after flipping the open sign to say closed. Crozzo glared at me, but I waved him off with my new left arm. I won't go into detail about how painful it was to regrow. Without my newest Skill, I was sure that I'd have passed out from the pain of having to regrow nerves, muscle, bones, and skin, in that specific order. Crozzo reached me soon enough, looked me up and down, and simply gave me a nod. Yep, there was a reason why I could stand the ultra-special magical blacksmith who makes the best swords ever. "Thanks for your help, Crozzo. As thanks, I'll be helping you out with your issues with your former Familia."
"One day you're going to lose your nose by sticking it in everyone's business, Hikigaya." Crozzo grumbled, but he took the chair in front of me. I'd managed to find the outfit I'd worn to the Denatus. The extra sleeve, which had been bunched up and sewn to the side, now held my new arm. I still had the off-shoulder cover, but mostly because I was keeping knives in the straps beneath it. The red-haired blacksmith groaned again and shook his head. "From the sound of it, you're not really going to give me a choice about letting you help me."
"That's right. I think it's better for everyone involved if the plan isn't to send your girlfriend charging madly at them wielding your Magic Swords." Crozzo twitched and did his best to not look towards the workshop hidden behind the counter of his shop. Yep. That was definitely their plan. Mass destruction of enemy forces and a total rout being pursued by an enraged high-level adventurer wielding weapons of mass destruction. Blacksmiths, as expected, just hit problems until they went away. "Think of it as a donation to your business for the sake of your good name, Crozzo. Think of the fame. Blacksmith sends whole army running away in fear."
"And how is that better than Tsubaki chasing them all off screaming?"
"Less people dead. Aren't you paying attention? Keep up, Crozzo."
Crozzo huffed and grumbled. We talked for a bit. We made our plans and how to execute them. It's funny, but despite the fact an entire army was coming to lay siege to Orario, it really wasn't an issue. While it sounded bad, the concentration of power between Rakia and Orario was incredibly skewed. Their strongest Adventurer was Level 5 and their average Levels were 2 and 3. Magic Swords, or even a Level 4 or 5 Mage, would decidedly rout the army of ten thousand or so Adventurers. The Loki Familia can take on the entire army. The Ganesha and Freya Familias could as well. Hephaestus had a large Familia and I was sure that other gods who had Blacksmiths wouldn't take too kindly about the thought of one of their number being forcibly captured.
In the end, I was just giving my thanks to Crozzo for his help. He made sure that no one got hurt because of me. Because of his work, no one even needed to be healed by the end of the fight. He wasn't at the front line, whacking me over the head, but someone at the back just doing everything he could to the best of his ability. I was going to help him the same way. It would be more difficult without my former business, but he didn't exactly have a massive corporation backing him while he tailored together and built up the items necessary to bring me down.
I left without saying thanks, only promising to help him out with Rakia and a few shared insults, but I knew that Crozzo could read into me well enough. While I appreciated everyone coming to help me and bringing me back, I couldn't deny that I was the most thankful for the fact that I hadn't hurt them to the point where they required any form of healing. In return for that, I was going to make sure that he didn't have the blood of thousands on his hands, some of which might be of his own, for just wanting to stay in Orario.
That was the very least I could do for Welf Crozzo.
Naturally, being the complete slacker that I was, that was all that I was going to do.
…
There is a murderer about capable of killing Level 5s specialized in close quarters combat. On one hand, having a murderer capable of breaking the neck of someone who could wrestle an infant dragon and win was terrifying, but on the other, I was pretty sure that said murderer was the only reason why I bothered to keep in contact with Hermes and Dionysus. As strange as it might sound, I was glad that the murderer existed and was dangerous enough for me to interact with the two pretty boys who were definitely not characters designed for an Otaku to insert themselves into. Yep, boy was I glad that I had people to talk to, even if the reason for doing so was fear for my life and said people were the bog standard of secondary male characters, since it kept me from throwing myself entirely into my work.
Naturally, with my sanity returned to me, I now intended to hunt said murderer down and eliminate any further reason for me to interact with the two gods. I'm sorry, despite the fact I'm trying to be a better person, that doesn't mean I intend to be a person who's going to be willing to deal with two mysterious, blonde, and "cool" fellows. They're definitely bait for Ebina-types and Ebina doujinshi, so I didn't intend to be around them for any period of time. There was no more room for BL in my life. That space was already taken up by Cranel, I mean Totsuka, I mean there's no room for BL in my life at all.
Anyway, since I didn't know anything about how to catch killers myself since such classes were not offered in Japanese High Schools, I found myself having to go back to a technique that I was doing my utmost best to stop using. The recently forbidden technique of "relying on Zaimokuza's inability as a writer" was going to see some use, despite the fact I'd sworn it off. I supposed that it was only natural that my most useful skills were severely damaging to my mental state. All power comes at a price. The price of my power was apparently my common sensibilities in treating people like people until I took a nap. What a grievous price.
"Here are the last of the reports, Hikigaya-san." Andromeda was probably Zaimokuza's dream girl. Poised, cool, and confident, the woman also had the power to create magical items that had a variety of effects. What a broken Skill. She could literally fly, turn invisible, and make explosives. That's just lazy writing, but I suppose that someone like Zaimokuza needed an absolutely broken partner in order to balance out his worthlessness. You can't fool me you tubby bastard, no matter how cool or shadowy you make "Hermes" out to be, I can tell he can barely tie his shoelaces! "Dionysus-sama sends his regards."
"Thanks." Unlike other Familias, the Hermes Familia traveled all across the world instead of just staying put in Orario. They rented out whole inns instead of having an actual home. While avoiding taxes from the Guild, Hermes also had the opportunity to recruit some real oddballs. There was a muscled woman twice my width who used two shields as weapons, Pallum twins, an elf that used whips, and a loli-witch that rode on the back of a fully armored knight. While most other Familias were painfully generic, Zaimokuza's personal Familia was painfully eccentric. Seriously, why are there so many weirdos with special talents here? If everyone's special in your fantasy group, Zaimokuza, then no one is! You're making it hard for me to think straight here, you tubby bastard! "I'll be done in a moment."
"…We spent weeks looking over these reports and found nothing." Naturally, since she had to be the counterweight of logic to Hermes' eccentricity, Andromeda was the very picture of logical thought and doubt. I had little reason to doubt that she was the true head of the Hermes Familia, especially since the god spent more time napping with his hat on his head than actually doing anything. I wouldn't be surprised if the group was actually normal when they started out, but slowly became caricatures of themselves due to their proximity to Zaimokuza's alter ego. The dreaded Chuuni disease has struck and left behind only hollow husks of its victims. "Do you expect me to believe that you discerned who the murderer is after an hour?"
"No, but I can tell you that our murderer is probably the cause of the monster attack on Orario a few months ago and also operating in the first ten floors past Rivira." I didn't bother to wait for the coming "how did you know that" and instead continued on. I'd already wasted two months twiddling my thumb on the matter. I couldn't afford to keep avoiding the problem. "All the victims involved either die in Rivira during their return, or in Orario after returning from Rivira." I brought out my own evidence. A record of the quests which were assigned past Rivira the last 8 months. "Also, all official quests in that zone in the last five months were registered as successful with all who took them returning. That means that someone is hiring adventurers to look for something within those floors which our murderer doesn't want to be found."
Andromeda looked over the sheaf of papers I'd acquired from the Guild. Once again, blackmail proves to be one of the best of my 108 Hachiman Skills. It's second only to Stealth Hikki, which has been on the fritz, so it had a decent chance of becoming number one. Why bother investigating something yourself when you can wait for someone to fuck up and have them do it for you?
Anyway, it was time to finish my exposition.
"All these facts combined means that someone is waging a war in Orario. One side is sending proxy adventurers to investigate, while the other one is using monsters as proxies to attack the city." How did the lecture pose go again? Oh, right, one hand holding the elbow, one eye closed, and finger pointed upright for no reason. Yep, definitely the perfect combination of confidence and pride. Just enough to be taken seriously, but also have some room for being wrong. Just enough room to be labelled as just incorrect instead of incompetent and stupid. "Our murderer isn't a murderer. They're an assassin who's killing spies who won't be missed from small Familias." I crossed my arms and gave a nod. Time to finish this scene off. "Both your Familia and the Dionysus Familias are being used to wage a shadow war without your knowledge."
"An astute investigation, Hikigaya-san." Fels, once again appearing out of nowhere, stated at the end of my monologue. "There truly is a war being conducted for the future of Orario.."
And, cliffhanger, end scene.
...
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