This Is Probably The Worst QnA Ever.

18. There are a lot of reasons I chose Remelia—at least in theory. It may have been because of her tendency to challenge everything she sees. Or I might have interpreted this Ayane-Vampire meeting as a rivalry. Because in the end, Remelia means rival. Or she just looks really familiar to EoSD's last boss (Yes, played the game to keep my reaction sharp.) Either way, that's her name from now on.

  Ayane crosses her arm, "Hm, Remelia, huh?"

  I can't believe this but I'm going to refer to the vampire as this now. Remelia lets out a booming laugh, "Mwahahaha. Now you know." She jabs a finger at Ayane, "Now you know! Yes, though my name is too majestic to be known to someone like you, I'll let you off this time. Just because. I say it again, my name is…" Her voice trails off...

  She touches her lips and tilts her head as her voice goes down, "My name is Remelia?"

  Ayane, "…"

  I, "…"

  Ayane, "Okay, this is weird."

  With max volume back, Remelia snaps at us. "My name is not weird! You're weird! You're weird!"

  She said it two times, wow.

  Remelia continues with her catty behaviour, "Remelia is… Remelia is a fine name! Finer than whatever your name is!" She looks down and starts mumbling, "Ehehehe, yes. Remelia. It rings just right for me."

  She is actually… blushing and smiling?

  Glad you like that name, I guess?

  "All right, Re-me-lia." Ayane twists her body to her, "let me ask you a question directly."

  "Hm, where's the courtesy?"

  "Huh?"

  Remelia's eyes gleam, "Oh I get it, you want to kneel instead of raising your hand. That makes sense, I'm a higher being than you humans, anyway. Go on, I'm waiting."

  Now she's literally throwing her own disguise.

  Ayane, once again, gives me a look of 'What the fuck?????'

  I shrug as if saying this is how I usually have to deal with her.

  Ayane sighs and starts asking anyway, "I don't know what you're saying but I'll just get it straight. Why are you in that coffin?" She says as her finger shows the coffin's direction.

  "Hmph," Remelia pushes her chin away, "I'll forgive your lack of courtesy for now. But dare you to do this again, I'll let you taste my wrath."

  "…"

  "You ask me, why am I in the coffin? Hah! That's really easy to answer." Remelia points at me. "That's because it was the human's idea."

  Can she just not use the word 'human' anymore.... It's a miracle how Ayane is not opening her guitar case at this point.

  When she points at me, Remelia lets her long red nails cross Ayane's nose.

  With both eyes on the nail, Ayane couldn't help but to ask, "Is this… real nails?"

  Remelia pouts. "Hey, told you to give me courtesy before asking questions. And not only that, you even called me a fake! How dare you!"

  Ayane turns to me. "All right, Sensei. I may have needed a little of explanation here. Starting from 'was your idea'"

  My hand scratches my back head. "Ahaha… ha." Why did I have that idea again?...

  I remember.

  Basically, it goes like this:

  Remelia, an hour ago: I can't remember my name!

  Sensei, an hour ago: That's unfortunate. Go back in the coffin.

  Remelia: Why?

  Sensei: It's like wanting to remember back your dream. The best way is to go back to bed and close your eyes. It works for me. I had remembered a lot of my lucid dream.

  Remelia: Hm, a fine idea!

  And there she went in the coffin…

  I remember the sigh of relief I had… and completely cross the vampire off my problem's list. I thought she'd gone back to sleep. Guess that's wrong, huh?

  Back to the present day.

  Ayane, "Sensei?"

  "It's just… Just a little game we had."

  "What kind of game?" (Ayane.)

  "What kind of game?" (Remelia.)

  When the two of them asked me like that, I couldn't help but gulp down my nervousness.

  I slowly explain, "A kind of game you play with her (look at Ayane), you (look at Remelia) Anyway, Squ!d Game is a good show, huh?"

  "What the heaven is Squ!d Game?" says Remelia—who, per usual, knows nothing that everybody else does.

  Ayane's chin lowers to her chest. "Sensei… Is this you gaslighting?"

  ...

  "I think so."

  Ayane shakes her hand off. "Well, you must have your reason. You're not a bad guy, as far as I know."

  Remelia laughs.

  Goddamit.

  Ayane continues, "That's not important now, anyway."

  Fu… I'm glad she thinks like that.

  "Another question--" Ayane begins.

  Remelia stands up, arching over her… and given her height, barely. "If you're asking me questions, I want to see courtesy!"

  Ayane scowls. "I will not ask you, Flandre."

  "My name is not Flandre!"

  "Just sit down, Remelia." I tell her.

  "Who are you calling Remelia? Oh, wait, I guess that's me. Hmph!"

  Remelia reluctantly sits down, but not without a glare.

  "Now that's out of the way," Ayane begins, "forgive my directness, but Sensei, does she have some kind of mental sickness?"

  Hey… that's a good way to put it. We have the name for it.

  I nod. "As you can see… She's cosplaying Remelia Flandre."

  Remelia Flandre, "Who? I am Remelia!"

  Ayane nods understandingly. "Now that just explains a lot." She scans the chuunibyou. "I've heard of your kind before but rarely I've seen them."

  Remelia… interprets that in a wrong way. "Mwahaha, now you know! My kind is very popular but only limited to someone like me! We're going to invade this world one of these days."

  And thank god that Ayane takes the gothic loli as crazy.

  When there's silence, Remelia throws up her hand. "My turn to ask!" Her finger drops at Ayane. "Who's she?"

  I answer, "As you might have heard, I called her. She is Ayane."

  "Is that so… I thought that was some kind of new creature or something."

  I can hear Ayane breaking her teeth.

  Remelia continues, "I mean, she smells like a human. But there's this weird flavour lingering around her."

  Ayane holds it in. I guess she's justifying Remelia's action by her mental sickness.

  In theory, exorcists smell differently from normal humans. Their everyday life has to do with killing hell creatures.

  But I wouldn't tell her that.

  "That's probably…" whenever there's something to blame regarding Ayane, it's always because of "the ramen."

  Remelia, "What the heaven is ramen?"

  Ayane, hearing about ramen, couldn't just stand still and not join in, "What? You don't know what's ramen is? How is that possible?"

  Ayane finally asks she could have asked hours ago.

  Hm, this has been hours...

  Remelia scowls. "Whatever it is… It doesn't smell good."

  O-oh. This will not be pretty.

  Ayane stands up, fuming with anger. "You! How dare you say that to Ramen! You take that back!"

  "Ayane."

  Remelia doesn't back down, amused by the female human's reaction in front of her. "What is this Ramen and why is it making you well up so much energy just by mentioning it?" She asks in a mocking tone.

  Ayane curls her hands. "I will… I will never forgive you for saying that."

  "I don't like you either." Says Remelia.

  Sigh… It's too late now. These two are now officially en enemy to each other. Although, not knowing each other's real identity, which surely makes them enemies.