20 Chapter 20 The realization

After saying goodbye to Mirko I got outside the gym and started heading home, but before I could I received a message from Mina.

*We have to talk, come to the park near your house*

And that was the drop that made my overthinking come back again, I had already been anxious about my relationship with my Mina due to her not answering my messages, but now? I don't know what to think.

Now apart from my feeling like shit, my mind is in turmoil, a headache starting in my mind, and my willpower barely making me move, why is fighting villains and killing monsters easier than dealing with people? Why am I like this? Why can't I be normal?

While hundreds of thoughts went through my mind of all the things I could have done and all the things she might want to talk about, my body went on autopilot heading straight for the park mentioned by Mina.

Using all my strength, ignoring my body's refusal, and simply moving on instinct and sure anxiety made me reach speeds never before.

By the time I arrived at the park just 20 minutes had passed, and with a heavy breath, I started searching for her.

And there she was, bags under her eyes, holding her phone stronger than usual, her right foot anxiously moving.

'She is anxious, did something happen?'

Even more, thoughts formed in my mind, did Takeshi do something? Is her mother ok? Does she need help?

I headed for her and called her name.

She heard my voice her whole body froze, and when she turned to look at me her eyes said everything, all the thoughts converged at one point, the scariest possibility that I thought about and the one I wished for the least to happen.

'She is scared.'

"Mydoriya... I guess you saw the message"

I didn't look at her, no words being able to come out of my mouth, recognizing the incoming panic attack.

'Why am I so attached to her? I have known her for less than a week, is this because of Izuku's emotions and memories? Are they affecting me? Or was I so emotionally detached that just feeling a bit of love made me in such a sorry state? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know... but I want to know.'

" I think we should take a break."

"... Ok," I told her, my voice coming out more broken than I intended it to be, having quite a hard time controlling all of the emotions I am feeling in just one sitting.

Anger, sadness, confusion, pain, sorrow, and other emotions all explode inside my head.

"... I... I am sorry, but..." She tried to explain but when she looks at me she gets too scared to talk.

' I caused this, it's my fault, how can I wish for a relationship when I can't even control my powers? When I am so weak?'

"... Is it all?" I asked her.

"... I... yes." She finally said, not even being able to look at me straight.

I nodded and started walking away, my mind in daze, unable to form a complete train of thoughts without being interrupted by another one.

What had started as a slow walk, became a fast walk, then a jog, then a run, and then ended in a madman running for his life.

By the time I had regained consciousness, I found myself in a forest but I ignored the fact and instead shouted with everything I had, unknowingly using the Shout skill for the first time.

A beast-like roar came out of my mouth, scaring the little animals, making anxious the medium-sized ones, and angering the big ones.

A few seconds later a Bear the size of my room appeared.

'A bear? Here? I don't fucking care, I just wish to fucking beat something.'

I instantly activated Rage, Tear, and Holy Strike, and dashed towards the bear using Shoulder Charge.

The bear didn't expect it and took the hit right in his nose, stunning him.

Before he could understand what even happened, I grasped his lower and upper mouth and started pulling, using my full strength and anger to break his jaw.

When the crack was produced a mad laugh formed on my face, my now blood-covered hands grasped its tongue and pulled with full force.

*ROAR

On my hand a bear tongue could be seen, still twitching.

I throw in on the side and use Shoulder Charge again, this time through the bear moved and used one of his paws to slash at my shoulder, creating a deep wound, but still too angry to even care about the pain I pushed through used my hands to pierce the right eye of the bear.

The feeling of having a hand inside a bear's eye was disgusting but satisfactory at the same time.

Using my body weight and the effect of Tear skill I pushed the bear onto the ground and got on top of him.

And started punching its face, again and again, in the meantime, the bear tried to get me off, slashing my back and legs but only revealing even stronger attacks in exchange thanks to Avenging Strike.

After a minute of punching the bear stopped moving, but I wasn't satisfied, so I continued, and continued, and continued, and continued, and...

By the time I came back to my sense I wasn't feeling my hands, legs, back, basically everything.

Below me, an enormous bear missing its head, now reduced to paste and bones, could be seen.

I activated Basic Self-Heal and started thinking again, now realizing what MIna was so scared of.

' I am a Monster... but so what?'