[Congratulations! Novice Tutorial Mode has ended]
"That was a tutorial? You didn't teach me a damn thing!"
Ben was sitting at his desk drinking coffee, reading the system notifications he received yesterday after completing the challenge. There were many, but this one was at the top, and also the most important.
[Congratulations! The bomb has been defused]
"…What bomb?"
[For the Novice Welcome Challenge's original punishment, a microscopic bomb was implanted in your scrotum]
…
"Why my scrotum?!?"
[Abundant space]
"F*CK!"
[Congratulations! The poison has been neutralized]
"...I almost don't want to ask…Sigh...What poison?"
[For the Novice Welcome Challenge's original punishment, poison was accumulating in your Root Chakra]
"...Root chakra? Can I cultivate it? Where is that?"
[In your butthole]
...
"Can't you at least use scientific terms?!?"