A new emotion

so here's the first chapter after a year, sorry guys..,but I will upload chapters when I can, I hope to complete a fan fic you guys like, I have so many ideas for this,I will follow canon quite a bit but I have ideas for a original arc so I hope you guys have patience for it.

thank you guys, and hopefully enjoy

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As Jason walked home he couldn't stop thinking of her, he'd never seen someone so breath takenly beautiful before, he thought for a second, he finally lost his sanity, then he remembered those golden eyes that made him feel like an electric current ran through him, even now it gave him chills to be at the mercy to such a feeling.

Jason's heart got faster and faster as the images of her eyes raced through his mind, his walk turned into a full sprint. The cold breeze washing over him, calmed him down as he ran, counting every step he took, to fill his mind of thoughts that weren't of her, he knew something was wrong, he had no experience of feelings of this nature before nor did he think he ever would, but he knew that this was wrong or unnatural, to feel such intensity from looking at someone, it made him feel sick. Like there was something wrong with him, there was and he knew that but this, was something that made him feel like he might spiral downwards again.

Jason finally got home, as the faint smell of cigarettes and whisky hit him, he finally felt calm, almost forgetting the day he had for a moment. "Phew" Jason breath out, the sound of his heart got quieter and quieter. some semblance of normality washed over him.

Jason headed to bed after making a grilled cheese sandwich, or what he seemed to think one was, Jason couldn't cook for shit. everything tasted the same to him, bland and rubber like, it always confused him when he'd see people making a big deal over food, but even then everything was like that to Jason, he felt alienated from the world like he was the only one there, watching everything from far, an outsider.

As Jason slept the faint sound of mumbling came out, "mmmama", mmhmm".

(Jason's dream)

smoke could be seen rising in the air, a constant alarm ringing off, and what seemed to be a siren getting closer and closer, 'Nee-nore Nee-nore'

' Nee-nore Nee-nore '.

and then the call of what seemed to be a child shouting out 'Mamma' over and over again.

Jason couldn't move, the car door caved over him, the sounds of his surroundings,the overwhelming smell of smoke was too much for him, his little heart getting faster and faster, he was going into panic, shock even, then anew sound rung out, "gurglgfle", "Jason...", "Jason...".

Jason yelled out "Mamma", "Mamma where are you?"

"I'm.. here...Jason.." Jason tried to move, but he was stuck, he struggled over and over again then eventually his efforts paid off, managing to get his arm free, he pulled himself forward, finally, his upper body was free, the surroundings around him was clouded with smoke, he clawed his way forward, ignoring the pain in his fingers. finally, he was free.

he crawled a few feet until he reached his mothers foot, "Jason..", "yea Mamma" he called out almost sounding like a sob, "come a... little... closer", "ok" he replied, as he crawled forward he noticed blood pooling around his mother, a feeling of Dread washed over him, he knew something was wrong, very wrong.

you see Jason's mother taught him that, People bleed when they're hurt, so he knew right away she was hurting, he finally made his way towards her face, the blood dripping across her head and down her face, made him feel sick, to the point all he could hear was a ringing, like white noise that drowned out everything, he didn't notice his mother calling on his name until she touched his face with her bloody hand, and then the noise of the surroundings hit him again.

once again his heart hammered away, like it was gonna jump out of his chest, "Jason.."

Jason looked at his mother's eyes and finally noticed tears streaming down her pale face , this was enough for him to start crying, "Mamma....", "Jason I need to...listen ok", "ok Mamma" he replied while choking down a sob.

"Mamma loves you... Jason, so very much". "wha..." he choked out, "Jason Mamma has to.... go.", Jason couldn't understand what his mother was telling him, it felt like a goodbye, "wha..go where..?", "Jason I'm.. going to stay with your grandma now...", "but you said grandma died and went to heaven".. he cried out.

" I know Jason.... I know it's my turn to... go to heaven now". "then take me with you Mamma", "please", he pleaded, " I can't" she cried softly out., "why, why not Mamma". " because it's my time,...you have to grow up... and live a good life..... for Mamma,ok".

"But I don't want too, without you Mamma", "I'm sorry Jason, you have too, for me please," she spoke softly.

"why,it's not fair..." he cried. "promise me Jason, you'll do It for me, promise me", she pleaded, "ok...Mamma for you, I'll do it", he promised, "That's my .. little J". she breathed out, Jason felted her hand slip of his face, watching as her eyes slowly closed, "Mamma" Jason sobbed out, he knew she was gone for good.

(end of dream)

Jason's eyes sprung open, putting his hands to his chest, breathed in and out holding back tears, " I promise huh" he said out loud to himself.

Jason looked to his left, seeing it was only 6:30 on the old alarm clock that the doc brought for him, he decided to get a shower and then eventually head to school.

it was roughly around 8:00 clock, by the time jason arrived at school, using the same entrance as yesterday, Jason walks around looking for his first class, Jason knew that he would get lost so he made sure to arrive half an hour early, looking between his class schedule and the doors number on either side of the long corridor, he eventually finds his first class, English, with Mr Berty.

Jason walked into the class, noticing that other than four other students there was nobody else in the room, looking around for a seat, something called out to him, "Jason", look towards the left of the class just see the guy he meet yesterday, Derek, "your seat is at the far back right", Jason nodded towards him, he proceeded towards his seat noticing his name written on a piece of paper place in the middle of the desk.

Jason couldn't help but notice how neat the class was, everything was perfectly in order, from the desks to the posters on the walls and the books lining the shelves, Jason couldn't help but think that Mr Berty was a control freak.

as the time got closer to the class started more students started to flood in, then 8:25 came and Mr Berty arrived exactly on the dot, arriving at his desk he looked up towards Jason, calling him forth, "Mr west" Jason looked towards him, Jason couldn't help but sigh as he walked forward, "hello sir" Jason replied, "Mr west welcome to forks highschool, I hope your enjoy your time here, we will get along if your treat this place for what it is, a place of learning, not a place to socialize, I teach you English to the best of my ability and you listen to the best of your ability, do we have an agreement".

during Mr. Berty's speech Jason couldn't help but internally sigh, coming back to his earlier thoughts. he couldn't help but assume this man was a control freak, even a bit arrogant.

"yes sir" Jason reluctantly agreed, Mr berty nodded to him, then proceeded to look for his files on his desk, Jason walked back to his desk and then planted himself down, resting his chin upon his palm, he couldn't help but think what a long year it's going to be.

as the final minutes take time before the class began. Jason zoned out, lost in his own thoughts, he didn't notice anybody walking towards him until the chair beside him was pulled out, feeling his heart starting to pick up it's pace, he couldn't help but look, almost if a magnetic force was pulling his head in that direction, there she was, Alice Cullen.

once again Jason couldn't help but think she was beautiful, impossibly so, even this close, it shocked him, he couldn't believe it, for a moment he thought he was dreaming, then he looked into her eyes, and bang, his heart took off just like yesterday, that electric like current running through his body, he couldn't look away, then she spoke, "hi" , just one word was enough for him to know that her voice would become his favourite sound, second to his guitar, then she introduced herself, "hi, I'm Alice Cullen".

Jason couldn't help but stare at her, lost in her beauty, every hair along his body stood on end, he couldn't speak, overwhelmed with a new emotion.....

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thanks for reading, also if you don't like the amount of information dumping I do, sorry but I won't stop, this I project to prove my English writing, (I'm German), so i use as many words as I can to understand them in the correct prefix (does that make sense?,I don't think that's the correct term)

once again thank you for reading.