Chapter Five

April 14, 1912

There are no words in the world to describe the pain I feel. My jaw hurts from the constant teeth shattering, and my body feels like needles have been stuck to me like a voodoo doll. Water that cold sends pain through your entire body. And I was lucky enough to float on wood debris. I wish that was the case for the bodies that floated around me. 

Jack and I Iay in a lifeboat wrapped in a warm wool blanket, but it wasn't enough to keep the constant vibration of my chin from my teeth chattering away. 

I watch the stars, twinkle above me. Even in this crazy disaster, the stars seemed so beautiful, and the moon shone so brightly, casting a shadow over the black sky.

"Is there anybody alive out there?" I hear the man call who just rescued myself and Jack out of the water. 

My eyes watch as they pick up a body gently by their life jacket to examine them.

The body, I know, will torture my mind forever. Icicles formed on her eyelashes and hair. Her face is many shades paler than normal. Her jaw still slightly cracked open. 

"I think they're all dead," I hear the pain in the man's voice as he speaks. The other has a look of fear on his face as he slowly navigates the lifeboat around the many dead bodies. There wasn't a clear path around them, and I know they're just hoping that one of the oars didn't hit a body. 

Over a thousand once active people, people who went to church and were in the great dining areas in the ship, just days earlier, are frozen to death in the waters. 

The night was so silent, with so many people technically around us.

What seemed way longer than two hours or so, I boarded the Carpathia ship, so many thoughts were buzzing in my mind. All the people who didn't get this opportunity, who lost their lives. My mind wasn't ready to board another ship, but my feet pushed me forward. 

I feel Jack's warm hand in mine reminding me that he was still with me. It's been silent the last few hours between us. I'm sure that can be expected due to the level of traumatization that we both went through.