Want Versus Deserve

Three months had passed since Levi had become the head mistress of the council of E.N.D. Three months had passed since Sae had been living in the forest with his stallion. The two still met up together now and then but their meetings became less and less frequent as time passed. Of course, Levi had her responsibilities and people constantly calling her name, making it difficult to visit Sae even once a month to give him more supplies.

"I don't know the next time I can come back here, so I brought more food and water than usual. Things back at the E.N.D, and the test subjects-"

"Yeah, yeah. I know, Levi. You don't have to explain anything to me, I don't really have the right or need to know."

Levi slightly knitted her brows at Sae's comment, "So what, you don't care at all?"

"Mm."

Levi crossed her arms and walked up to Sae who was sitting on a rock, reading a book about medicinal herbs that Levi had brought him last time. She arched her back to meet Sae's eyes, but he remained focused on the book. Sae knew that Levi was trying to get his attention for the purpose of yelling at him for his simple and absurd response, but he felt that he couldn't be bothered to endure that type of torture right now.

"Hmm. You've changed, Sayrid."

"All right, that does it,"

"Wha-!?"

Sae tossed the book on the ground and pinned Levi down, looking at her with his usual bored and blank expression. Like always, Levi could feel her heart skip a beat and an unknown feeling coursing through her as she was captivated by Sae's inhuman-like eyes. As if he was a divine angel sent from above, Levi could only remain quiet as she was speechless.

"What are you talking about, Levi? I haven't changed, I only now feel it's time I finally stop caring about your bullshit."

Levi couldn't even be angry with Sae's harsh words. He was simply too breathtaking for her to think about anything else. Of course, Sae knew that she wouldn't respond since she never spoke whenever he did sudden and bizarre things like this, but her face was far too amusing for him to stop.

'"Why...why do you have to leave me...?" Levi had accidentally said what she was thinking out loud, but as embarrassed as she was, she was half glad that she said it out loud. Sae had no reaction whatsoever, but in his head, he was curious. Levi was the most powerful woman in the country, but she only ever showed her vulnerability and exhaustion to Sae, whom she had accidentally fallen for, and it was only now that she could fully realize that.

"Levienne, you're forgetting the promise you made me those years ago. You know damn well you can't say that shit to me."

Sae got up and walked over to the river where he could splash himself with water as if he was trying to wake himself up from a nightmare. Levi sat up straight, but her body felt so heavy. Levi was harsh when she first met Sae, and she swore to him and herself that she would never fall for a man. Specifically, she would never fall in love with Sae.

"Whether the contract was made or not, I can't change what I feel, Sayrid. What am I supposed to do? Just forget about all of this, about you?!"

"That's exactly what you must do."

Levi felt that she had just been stabbed in the heart. The fact that Sae spoke in his calm manner made Levi feel worse. Here she was panicking like usual, but it must've met nothing for Sae. At least, that's what she thought.

Sae was having a hard time with this too though. This was only a front. Inside, he felt like he had just been stripped of all his rights, all possibility of happiness diminished, spirit leaving his body as Levi had exposed her feelings to Sae.

'You idiot.' Sae decided he needed to cool off, and stepped into the cool water. The heavenly feeling instantly rid him of his confusion but Levi was still dead silent and at the edge of tears.

'I swore, didn't I? But even so, here I am, sulking that I can never be with him...'

Levi hadn't realized it yet, but a single tear had flowed down her face, and her eyes were glowing like they were the night she won over her mother. Sae turned his head to see if Levi was still there but his eyes widened when he saw Levi standing with her glowing eyes and ink-like tears. The strangest part of Levi, was not her face, but her aura. It was not terrifying and she wasn't angry. If anything, she was determined...but for what? For who?

Levi started running and in the next second, she was in the water hugging Sae as if she never wanted to let go of him. Sae calmed down but he was worried about Levi in her state. He had never seen her act in such a strange way towards him.

"I won't let you leave me!"

Levi's arms were wrapped around Sae's neck, making him place his head on her shoulders which was uncomfortable with Sae who was quite tall...

"You really are an idiot, Levi."

Sae wrapped his arms around Levi's shoulders as she silently cried, "I'm not leaving you, you possessive psychopath. You're just lonely as hell and only trust one person. I bet you don't even tell X-6 and her merry band that you visit me."

Levi opened her tear-filled eyes and stared at Sae in disbelief. Levi felt like she was being pitied, or possibly even belittled by Sae.

'Hugging like this, spewing out facts like this, what goes on in Sae's mind?'

"If you keep doing this, I really will lose control...Sae..."

Sae chuckled, "It's not you getting out of control that I'm worried about."

Levi slapped Sae, "You seriously don't get it, do you?! I fell for you even after swearing not to, after torturing you! When you say stupid things like that, it sounds different in my head because of what I want versus what I know I deserve!"

Levi was panting and her forehead had beads of sweat that flowed down and plopped into the water. Sae just looked at her, mind blank.

"I shouldn't even say this when time is ticking and people are calling, but I can't wait any longer..." Levi wiped her tears on her sleeve, staining the white collared shirt with a black mark before turning around to leave. Sae had no intention of getting out of the water. He wanted to stay, just so that he could watch as Levi left.

'Heh, you're too cute sometimes...still an idiot tho...'

Sae closed his eyes for a mere second to blink when suddenly, his mouth was covered by a cold hand and he was being dragged underwater. As he was underwater for too long, Sae passed out while the one who was drowning him threw him on the back of a wagon and set off for an unknown place far from Coveford village. More importantly, far to the point where even Levienne Clyde could not reach them.

...

"She asked for you to bring him alive you bastard!"

"He's only unconscious from being underwater too long, bitch!"

"You were drowning him, weren't you?"

"Oh shu-"

A woman suddenly appeared and the two brainless servants instantly shut their mouths, embarrassed for their mistress to have witnessed their "conversation". With their heads bowed down, the two got on their knees with their right hands over their hearts with Sae in the middle.

The woman shooed them away, leaving herself alone with Sae who was still sleeping.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen in such a despicable way.'