I Want To Love You

After Yoongi left, I went back to my room. I changed into my pajamas and texted Mi-Young to see if she was coming back tonight.

'Hi Girlfriend, are you coming back tonight?'

'Sorry, Boyfriend. I can't come back tonight. Something came up and I have to stay here with Hoseok and his parents. I was only supposed to be here for dinner but they suddenly wanted me to spend the night here. I thought that my parents would reject their offer, but they happily agreed instead! Help me chingu!'

I giggled to myself before sending her another text.

'Looks like your in-laws want a grandchild before a wedding.'

'NO! That will not be happening! I will only let the person I love, sleep with me.'

She sent me some angry emojis before telling me that Hoseok was on his way back to the bedroom. We said our goodnights and I soon fell asleep after tossing my phone to the side.

************

***Mi-Young's POV***

I hurriedly hid my phone before Hoseok opened his door and walked in. I was still up and sitting in his bed.

"Are you not sleeping yet?" He asked as he closed the door behind him.

"I-I couldn't sleep..."

He moved closer towards the bed and I automatically moved away from him.

This is Hoseok, my friend who I grew up with. We've slept in the same bed before when we were little, so why the hell am I so nervous right now?

His bright smile soon spread across his face.

"Why are you shaking so much? Are you cold?" He asks me.

"No. It's because our parents want us to sleep together, in the same room, on the same bed. I-it's not like back then when we were younger Hoseok. And y-you know what they want us to do too....."

I bit my lips nervously not knowing what he would do to me, especially now that both our parents are allowing us to sleep together even before our wedding.

"Paboya. I love you and I will never touch you until you tell me to," he smiled at me. He pats my head gently and places a kiss on my forehead, like how he always does, before grabbing the pillow next to me and moving towards the closet to grab an extra blanket. He plops down on the tiny couch that was in his room. I let out a breath of relief.

I should have known Hoseok Oppa would never do anything to me. He was not a person who would touch me in any way that I didn't like. If I showed the slightest discomfort, he'd noticed it right away and come to my aid for whatever the reason may be. I watched him toss and turn uncomfortably on the cramped couch. I felt bad that he had given up his bed for me while he is struggling to sleep on a couch that was obviously too small for his tall figure, so I called out to him.

"Hoseok Oppa, just come sleep on the bed with me."

He lifts up his head and turns towards me. He had such a shocked expression on his face.

"A-are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You will be in pain if you sleep on that tiny couch. Hurry up before I change my mind."

He slowly gets up from the couch and brought his pillow and blanket to the bed.

I scoot over and he places his pillow next to mine and pulls his blanket onto the bed as well.

"We won't be sharing the same blanket so don't worry, I won't touch you," he smiled at me once again before turning off the lamp on his night table. I laid down next to him and fixed myself to feel as comfortable as I could.

It's been a while since I last slept on his bed. Surprisingly, it didn't feel foreign. It was as if my body remembered Hoseok's bed. I was probably 5 years old then. The bed would also be full of the different kinds of plushies that I loved so much, the plushies that he would always buy for me.

Hoseok was the perfect man. He was the sweetest and most gently, especially towards me. Had I taken advantage of his kindness? Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. I don't really know. Whatever it was that I wanted, Hoseok would get it for me.

I remembered a time in middle school, I was craving ice cream in the middle of class and Hoseok skipped class to buy me ice cream. He ended up getting in trouble with our homeroom teacher. And then there was another time when I really wanted to go on a ride at the amusement park. He was deathly afraid of heights, but he still went on with me. Don't even make me tell you about the time we went to the zoo and we saw the biggest snake ever!

I turned my head slightly towards Hoseok. His back was turned to me as he seemed to be struggling to fall asleep. I stared at his back for a long time. I suddenly felt sad as I watched him breathe next to me. He loved me so much and has done so much for me. The memory of Jimin Oppa bawling his eyes out into Hani's shoulder entered my mind.

Would Hoseok react the same?

I turned my whole body so that I was looking directly at Hoseok's back. He deserves someone who will love and cherish him. I don't care what my parents say anymore. I will end things with Hoseok. I will be the one to call off this wedding. I will put our family to shame and not give him any more false hope. And then I'm going to confess to Jimin Oppa that I like him. I decided to hold Hoseok. Just once, before I break his heart. This is all I can do for you Hoseok.

The moment he felt my touch on him, he jumped a little. He turned lightly around to face me.

"Can I hold you? I'll just hold onto your hand if it's okay with you?"

"Huh? Uhhh.. S-sure...." He stammered before taking his left arm out from underneath his blanket. He had turned his body so that he was facing the ceiling.

I linked my right arm around his left arm and intertwine our fingers in between us. I moved closer to him and my left hand squeezed in between his arm that was linked with mine and his blanket to pull his arm closer to me as I cuddled with it. My head was slightly leaning on his shoulder.

"Thank you Hoseok Oppa. Good night."

"G-good night Mi-Young...."

I want to love you as much as you love me... I'm sorry Hoseok.....

To Be Continued...