7. This is one strange night

I'm currently at Zachary's beach house. I have to admit that this place is not exactly as I expected. It is so much nicer. Who knew Zachary had such great taste, he always seemed too serious and, well, you could say old-fashioned. I guess I was wrong. His house is beautiful, and it has a homey feeling. Much of the house is made of glass and it looks like there isn't much privacy, but it's still nice. The bottom side of the house leads to the beach and there's also a swing attached to a tree. The house has plenty of flowers and lamps. It's very romanticly done I can see that. Basically, there are a lot of paintings and a piano, the furniture is also modern but not too much. The whole house is refreshing.

I noticed Zachary talking to a few people from the company and I slowly approached him. He noticed me and he just turned to me with an expression of astonishment. His eyes darted over my body without missing a single inch. I looked down and blushed at the sudden attention. He's checking me out.

-Good evening Zachary. I must admit that your house is not half as bad as I imagined, and you were right about the music. It's not that terrible. -The atmosphere is very interesting. Zachary laughed out loud, took my hand, and gently kissed it in a joking manner. It surprised me but I had to laugh at it. Such a gentleman. 

- You look beautiful Desiree. Really different from the usual work outfits. I'm regretting not meeting you privately more often.- I blushed even deeper at that and looked at my dress. I'm wearing a long simple green dress without sleeves with a heart-shaped neckline. My hair is wrapped in curls and I decided to put on some makeup. I must admit it has been long since I've been to such a fancy event. I go to parties, but this is more of a formal type of gathering than a party.

- Thank you, Zachary... -

- I'm just telling the truth, Desiree. I'm not saying you're not beautiful at work, but... Basically, you're hiding your curves. - He winked at me and I frowned at him. Of course, men only look for the curves. They don't understand the effort we put into our look. There is hair, and makeup, cosmetics, nails, clothes, jewelry... At the end of the day, from us is expected to think like men, behave like ladies, and be sexy and dirty just for the private eye of that special someone. 

- You always have to ruin everything, don't you Zachary? - I crossed my arms and continued to frown at him.

- Come on Desiree. Just accept the compliment. Isn't it nice when someone notices that you're hot, I don't see how I turn out to be the bad guy here. -

- Of course, you don't. You couldn't compliment my mind or commitment. But no... You had to compliment my curves, you men only see that in women. You don't know how hard is it to be a woman sometimes. We need to work as twice as hard as any man to prove ourselves. - He looked at me with raised eyebrows, a confused look on his face. Well, that's the truth. Instead of my traits, he had to compliment my physical appearance.

- Desiree... Everyone's life is difficult. Do you think my life is easy because I am a man? I had to prove myself too, and nothing just came to me, I worked hard.-

- Yeah... You don't always have to dress up and look good, you don't have to worry about your reputation. When a man sleeps with more than one woman nobody says anything, but when a woman sleeps with many men then everyone classifies her like a whore. You don't have periods and don't need to give birth to children. And now you're telling me that men have a harder life than women. – Zachary's now watching me with some thoughtful expression. Well, he realized that I'm right. Of course, there are exceptions. I have no doubt that some men had difficult lives. But Zachary's not one of them, that's what I'm trying to say.

-If you say so... It's true that women have some disadvantages, more than men. But it's still wrong to say that they have a harder life. It's too general. It depends on the person. Anyway, I would like to leave this conversation for some other time. My father expressed a wish to see you. Are you willing to pay him a visit?  - I froze at his words. I haven't seen Philip for months. I saw him last time at work. I was quite offended when he named Zachary the CEO. I worked hard and I was his deputy so it was natural for his position to go to me. I don't know if I even want to see him. I'm still cross a bit. 

- Am... Zach... Can I... I mean... I would rather not see him if that's okay... - For a moment there was silence. Neither I nor Zach said anything and we just looked at each other's eyes. In addition to the music and shouts of people, it's like we don't hear anything else. I'm a bit afraid of how he will react to my statement. We finally started to get along and I don't want that to change. It's better to have friends than enemies.

- Fine. I can tell him that I haven't found you. He's resting in one of the rooms. But just so you know, he came here just so he could see you.- I nodded at it and felt guilty but I really can't see him now.

- Desiree... I understand why you don't want to see him. But he has a high opinion of you. The things he said. Well... He just believed that the company should be led by family, and I do have more experience than you. Trust me when I say that he likes you and thinks of you as a competent employee. If I hadn't agreed to lead he would certainly put you as the CEO. And don't get mad but I think that he's right. You probably won't believe me but being the boss isn't easy. I think you have more things to learn and I say this for your own good.-I am still not convinced,  but I can't change anything. I know how hard I work, and how much I have invested in my career. But it's Philip who thinks that I am not able to lead the company... So maybe it's okay to wait a few years. However, I'm only twenty-four, which is very little for the CEO of such an important company.

- I'll see him some other time, I promise. I'll come to visit Philip.- Zachary nodded and the awkward atmosphere spread around us. I took it as my sign to get away and try to explore a bit.

-I'm going to look around the house. Maybe go to the beach, I love how the water glistens at night. And now it's a full moon... – I said while looking out, a bit wishful to go to the beach now I've seen how pretty it looks. Must be nice living here.

- Sure, I'll see you later Desiree. - I smiled and nodded and then went away from the noise. Music is good but I want a minute of silence. There's no better place for that than the beach. As soon as I left the house a slight breeze knotted my hair. I smiled at that and moved on. Surprisingly, the beach is empty. Several people are walking around and some are enjoying the view but other than that it is not crowded.

I stood close to the water being careful not to wet my dress and look at the water. My mind went back to Zachary. Maybe I was too harsh with him. I tend to make a victim of myself, or at least that's what I read through some of the self-diagnosis on the internet. Maybe I do look at things too grim. My life wasn't all that bad. For example, I met Gabriel. Even our first date was cute. It was different. He took me to a cliff and we had a picnic. We had spent all day together and I really enjoyed his company. At the end of the date, he wanted to kiss me I explained to him that I see us more as friends. And luckily, he agreed to just be friends. Since then, he's been my biggest support in life. I'm not sure why, and if I really mean that much to him but I'm glad that he prevents me from doing stupid things.

I also remembered the first time I met the Diamond family. The first time I allowed myself to dream of a better life. I thought that I finally had a family and that nothing would hurt me. I thought I would be happy... Unfortunately, that didn't go as I imagined. But I'm still grateful. It's too late to regret the past. Mistakes can't be corrected, now I can just concentrate on the future.

- Desiree... - I turned to the person the voice belonged to.

- Wha... What are you doing here? - I asked completely surprised. He's the last person I expected here.

-Well, now we have a common boss if you don't remember. However, Damien is hardly my boss. I told you I'm doing a commercial for sportswear. To my regret, Damien is a boss's boss and because of that, he thinks he can order me around for every little thing. What can I do, it's just for a short while. After I finish the commercial I won't have anything to do with him. What about you?- I smiled at that. It really is a small world. Who would have imagined that we have a common boss?

- I'm glad you're here, though. This party was getting boring. As for Damien... I'd rather not talk about him tonight. - I grimaced remembering Damien's behaviour. That man is always the reason behind my headaches. 

- I get it. I already told you that he's not an easy man. But you're right. Let's not talk about Damien. I want to make sure you're not mad at me. - He looked at me sadly and I just smiled sympathetically and put my hand on his shoulder.

- Don't worry about it, Travis. I've told you before that it's you that should be mad at me. I forced you to kiss me... -

- Oh, I can't be mad at you for that. I wanted it too. If you didn't kiss me, I would probably kiss you by the end of the night. - He winked at me, and together we began to laugh.

- By the way, I haven't told you how beautiful you look tonight. - I smiled at him feeling warm from his words. I'm a little embarrassed by the way Travis is looking at my body from head to toe but I got over it. He's just a friend. I can't lead him on.

- Thank you, Travis. - Travis just smiled and took my hand in his. I am scared of his next move so I looked at him wide-eyed.

- T... Travis... What are you doing? - I asked him ignoring the urge to shake off his hand. Surely this is only a friendly gesture...

- I just want to walk with you. I promise I won't try anything more. - I hesitated for a moment but then just nodded. He wouldn't try anything, right? My heart sank, thinking about him making a move on me but I just kept walking uncomfortably. Relax Desiree, the guy is just holding your hand... The same little voice inside of me tried to convince me of that, but I didn't believe it. Something inside of me refused to believe that this is just an innocent gesture. I broke away from Travis and he turned to me with sad eyes.

- Desiree... - I raised my hand and prevented him from talking.

- Just tell me your intentions, Travis. Please don't confuse me. Just explain to me whether all of this is just a friendly gesture. - I asked him seriously and I saw an expression of guilt on his face. So I was right. Maybe I sometimes send mixed signals but I told him I wanted us to just be friends. 

- Sincerely... I think I love you. I loved you ever since we dated, and I think I never got over you. I know you don't feel the same way about me but maybe you can try. Give me one chance to show you how much I love you. I will do anything, Desiree. I'm just looking for a second chance. I will cherish you and be good to you, I swear. You are beautiful, kind, smart, you have an attitude but it's adorable. You are loyal and never turn your back on your friends. I love you, Desiree. Maybe you don't believe me at this point but let me show you. I'm only asking for a chance to prove myself... – It's not that I don't believe him, it's just... I'm not who he thinks I am. He deserves someone who will not freak out when he touches her. And that's not me. How can I love him when I'm not sure if I can love myself? 

- Travis... I believe you. But you don't know me. I'm not right for you. I have problems, Travis. Problems that prevent me from getting close to anyone. You'll find a better person for you but that's not me. I'm sorry to say it but I appreciate you too much to lie to you. I feel love for you, I really do. Just not in the same way as you feel towards me. - My heart is breaking because of Travis's expression. I know I hurt him. I can see all the hopes that I have stepped on, all the dreams that I broke. I got even sadder when I touched his rough face and his eyes looked at me with such affection.

- Just give me a chance Desiree. How can you know you won't fall in love with me If you don't try? You might even enjoy my kiss. You never gave me a chance to show you. - I know that's not what I want. Even if I do enjoy it, it won't last long. I'm not capable of love... Not for the kind of love he wants from me.

-Travis, please... - I know he understands what I want from him. I know it by the look on his face. But suddenly his face became somewhat determined and I'm afraid of his next move. This is not good. His expression says it all.

- Why don't you want to at least try? Do I repulse you so much that you can't even stand one kiss from me? I can be gentle, I can be loving and patient, just give us a chance... - I looked at him now afraid, moving my hand away from his cheek. I tried to step back but he grabbed my shoulders with both of his hands.

- Desiree, just try... - With these words, he drew me to himself and roughly began to kiss me. I tried to push him away but he just held me roughly and now he stuffed his tongue in my mouth. My heart began pounding really fast, and all my thoughts became blurred. The panic in me started to resurface and I just wanted to break free from him. His rough tongue, his breath, his lips... It all seems too harsh like that's all hurting me in some way. I felt sick in my stomach and I know that I'll start vomiting if he doesn't release me soon. I pushed harder but Travis didn't react... Then I heard a voice next to us, and Travis finally separated his lips from mine. As soon as he moved his hands, I fell to the ground and tried to regain my breath.

- What a lame excuse of a man. At least make sure your women are willing.- Far away in my mind, I recognized Damien's voice and I returned to reality. When I finally calmed down, I looked at Travis with a disappointed expression. This isn't him... This isn't love... If he really loves me even a little, he wouldn't be forcing himself on me. Travis looked at me with a guilty look on his face and then looked down at the ground. I got up on my feet and kept on looking at Travis. The pain, disappointment... I'm not even sure how I feel. Travis once again confirmed to me that there is no love, only pain. He just brought back memories that happened three years ago. Memories which I can't forget...

- Will someone explain to me what is going on here? I hate to be the one in the dark. - I looked at Damien who has a venomous smile on his face and I wondered what kind of man is he. Not long ago we were in a somewhat similar situation and now he plays a hero. But honestly, I am so happy to see him. If he didn't appear I would be having a panic attack right now. I looked at him frowning, trying not to show how affected I am with everything that happened.

- Go away. I do not know why you're here. I know it's not because of me, or because you wanted to help me, so just go. Leave me alone. - I told him calmly but I just wanted to get away from it all. From him, from Travis, from the beach, but mostly from my memories.

- I don't understand what you're talking about Desiree. No wonder this guy forced himself on you. You like to play the victim but you are asking for it. - This sentence is the last straw for me. It's like the tower of glass collapsing and now all the pieces are falling on me. Cutting me. Attacking me. All the memories, the guilt, all the doubts that I have, they now returned in full force. Who is to say that it wasn't my fault for everything? Maybe I did provoke him. Maybe I really do bring things upon myself.

I am standing stiff, broken inside... I felt my tears build up in my eyes. No! Not in front of him. No! I clenched my fists and started to run inside. For a moment I noticed how Damien and Travis discuss something but I'm no longer paying attention. Now I just want to get away. I want to get away from all of them. I ran into the house and started running between people. I don't know where am I going. I just opened the first door and walked into an empty bedroom. I fell on the floor and started biting my lips, drawing blood. I feel like I'm breaking. I feel insignificant. The tears are burning my eyes and there is a lump in my throat. I just want to forget everything If that's not too much to ask.

With the last strength in my body, I got up and went to bad. I'm battling my demons, trying to distract myself from the images in my head. I can't let him win. He didn't win yet. I am the master of my life. I choose what happens to me. This is my decision. He is no longer here, he can't control me or hurt me. I will never let him do that again.

  I don't know how much time has passed since I came here. All I know is that I heard the door open and I quickly rose to my feet. Scared I looked at Damien wondering what is he doing here. I can't help but feel a bit scared of him. His eyes and face seem guilty but I've been wrong before. What does he want? He has also hurt me in the past, it's not like he's the favorite person on my list. I nervously swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at Damien. This won't turn out well...

Damien's POV.

I looked at her face and it's obvious she's going through something. I do feel guilty but everything was her fault. At least that's what I say to myself to calm down and mask my feelings for the she-devil. That's what she is, that's what all women are. All women are devils disguised in charming, sweet skin. She's not different. She's just a spoiled brat used to having everything going smoothly for her. She thinks that she can have any man wrapped around her finger, and when things don't go the way she imagined, she plays the victim. Just like now.

I gathered my hands into fists studying her face. One part of me says that she really has a problem and the other part of me says that it's all an act. Disgusting, sick act of this creature in front of me. Don't fall for that Damien. It's all a mask. But still, some worm of guilt is constantly poking me, forcing me to feel bad. Who knows what happened here? Who knows what she was doing? I dared to take another look into her eyes and all my walls broke as I looked at her with pity. Her expression portrays such pain, suffering, that makes my every muscle strain in need to comfort her.

I just want to hold her in my arms and comfort her. What are you talking about Damien, get a grip! I snapped from this emotion and then looked at her with anger. It's all her fault. She's exactly the same as all the other women. All of them are just looking for profit, wealth, status... She would betray me too if I give her a chance. I felt the anger in me increasing when I realized that she made her way into my mind. I hate everything she stands for. I hate her perfect life, her self-confidence, and this attitude she has like she's better than everyone. I hate that she thinks she is always right. I hate Desiree Diamond. I hate her. But why can't I stop thinking about her? Why do I keep track of her every move? Why do I want to get her naked and take her on the floor like an animal? I clenched my fists harder and noticed that Desiree is now going towards the house. 

- She didn't deserve it! - Only now I remembered the guy still in front of me. Well, what does he want? As if he has the right to tell me something. Just a few minutes ago he forced himself on her.

- I don't recall asking for your opinion. –I angrily told him and turned towards the house. This guy grabbed me by my shoulder and I turned to look at him in the eyes. He obviously doesn't know who is he messing with. I roughly removed his hand and restrained from beating him to pulp.

- She didn't do anything. You didn't have to be rude to her. - Again he said it annoyingly and I'm debating whether I want to beat him or not. There's no harm in teaching this guy a lesson. 

- And who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? Do yourself a favor and leave. - I went to the house but he turned me back to him and this time, I snapped. With all my strength I punched him in the face and he fell to the ground holding his bloody nose. I felt a slight throbbing in my hand but it is nothing. This moron deserves it. I don't have time to deal with him now.

I turned and walked away, leaving the guy to squirm in pain. I couldn't help myself and a huge smile spread all over my face. He deserved it! I don't know why, but part of me wanted to punch him since I saw him walking hand in hand with Desiree. Leave it, Damien...

I inhaled deeply, forcing my mind to quit with such thoughts. She's just another woman. A young, pretty, attractive woman... I shuddered remembering her body in this evening's dress. Stop it! There are hotter women. She's just average. I entered the house and unconsciously began to look for the familiar blond-haired girl. She means nothing to me, but I need to check if she's okay. For a while, I was looking at a bunch of drunken people and then I decided to check the rooms.

Why am I trying so hard to find this girl? It's a very good question. I really should have listened to my consciousness. But it's too late now since I just found her. She quickly got up off the bed like a child who's caught stealing candy. Afraid, she looked at me before she tried to hide her emotions. Is she afraid of me? She should be. She doesn't even know what I'm capable of. I started to walk to her, and I noticed that her face became fainter and fainter. As all the color evaporated from her pretty face. She is afraid of me. I am the cause of her facial expressions. Get a grip...

This time, I listened to my consciousness, and I masked my every emotion. Emotions make you weak. This is what I've learned in life. Give the woman your heart and she will crash it. Women are strange creatures. They are dishonest, distrustful creatures. I looked at Desiree, observing her appearance from head to toe and I couldn't help myself as I noticed a sliver of attraction towards her. Maybe even more than a sliver. I remembered her breasts while she was gathering the papers this morning. And her body... Unconsciously I licked my lips my thoughts going in every direction and all of them involved her...  The dress was open just enough to give my imagination a push in the right direction. I can see the shape of her body but nothing more... I can see her naked in my head and I hope she looks just as good in reality.

- Damien... Get out! - I looked up and met her frightened face. I finally managed to register what she said and I just smiled wanting to irritate her.

- And why should I listen to you, princess? I have to admit that's interesting clothes. Definitely different from your ordinary „I am a saint" look. Those pantsuits do not represent your best self.- I know I only added fuel to the fire but I can't help it. I do not know why, but this woman always awakes the worst in me, and besides, she's hot when she's mad. I chuckled at it and she now looked at me angrily.

- Why do you give yourself so much right Damien? What do you even want from me? Maybe you are angry because you know I wouldn't look at you even if you were the last man on Earth. -After her venomous words, I realized how angry I am. At myself. At her. I approached slowly, backing her into the wall. 

-Is that right sweetheart? Why don't we test that theory? Tell me Desiree... - Now my body completely clings against hers. I bent my head so that my lips are just next to her ear. Quietly and sensually I started to whisper sweet words, certain that every word I say carves deep into her mind and creates images... When I finished my little speech I smiled pleased, realizing that she has a reaction to me. I feel her breath on my skin. I know her mind is now imagining every filthy thing I've described. I nibbled her ear and then began to descend gently kisses from her ear, lower and lower to that clear, smooth skin of her decolletage. With each kiss, her body leans more into me, and when I began to suck on her skin I heard a moan leave her lips. She quickly put her hand over her mouth trying to hide it but I heard it. It made me smile as I backed away to look at her eyes.

- I think we have proved something, love... You're not as immune to me as you want to be.- I smiled triumphantly and I saw her face getting redder. Oh yes! Desiree, you lost... I went to the door but stopped when I felt a punch on my back. Did she? Hit me? I turned to her and stared at her angry face. It seems that this time, I crossed the line.

I have never seen her this angry. Not even that day in the hallway. I stared at her until I felt another punch but now at my chest. And then another... And another. I caught her hands gripping her wrists. It took me a second to pull her with me on the bed as I continued to study her face. It is a mixture of fright and want and I want to push her just a bit more. Why don't I help her make a decision?

My lips touched the skin on her neck and I made sure to bite it lightly, teasingly sucking on it. With her mind in deray, I lowered my body onto hers, patiently so that I could feel her heath.  Gosh, I don't remember wanting anyone as much as I want her. I love the feel of her body, her skin, her scent... Maybe it's the whole act she has going on, or her strong personality but I want to break her. I want to own her, to make her scream beneath me and writhe with pleasure. Oh, I'll show her pleasure... I can only imagine how good would it feel to be inside her, to feel every part of her.

I lifted my head and started to kiss her face. My hand gently gripped her chin so that she would finally look at me. Her eyes are so... Strange. I can read every emotion in them. I can see the fight in them, fear, desire... The last emotions encouraged me to gently move my thumb across her lower lip. I could feel her breathing heavily and suddenly the room became a hundred degrees hotter.

- I know you want me. Don't deny it... - I whispered softly, confident in my words. She just closed her eyes, still breathing hard. I wanted to smile at the impact that I have on her but now isn't the time. With her meek demeanor, I became brave enough to put my hand on her thigh and trace it up, wanting to feel every inch of her. Her face is twisted, conflicted but she's not saying no...  This is the night Desiree, finally, I'll get you out of my head.

- Yes, you want me... You don't have to hide it, Desiree... Just this once, then I'll leave you alone, I promise. I can't get you out of my mind Desiree... Your lips, your eyes, face, body... At night your face doesn't give me peace... I want you, here, now!  - I can't take it anymore. Since I met this spoiled brat she is the subject of my thoughts. All of my dreams involve her, me... Naked in bed. Everything about her turns me on. Her every movement, every gesture...

I have to have her. I gave everything I had in the kiss as my lips connected to hers. Her lips are soft... Just as I had imagined. Better... I've been with women, with many, many women. But all of them were throwing themselves at me, yet she is not like that. For the first time, I met someone whom I couldn't influence... In a second our kiss turned into a lustful and passionate one. Desiree grabbed my hair drawing me closer to her. When she moved her tongue over my bottom lip I knew that there is no turning back.

There's no way I would be able to stop. Her gesture lighted a fire in me and I growled wanting nothing more than to see her naked body. I separated from her only to look into her eyes. All I see in them is fire equal to mine. I took it as a confirmation and I grabbed her thighs now moving between her legs. I lean closer to her so that my manhood is right at her core. She let a deep moan and I became even harder. I growled again and connected our lips. For some time our lips danced in the same rhythm, showing each other how lustful we feel. Then Desiree broke the kiss, and for a moment I was afraid that she wanted to stop. I can't let that happen, I need this. Only this time, and then she will be out of my mind. Luckily she didn't refuse me. Quite the contrary. She brought her mouth closer to my ear and whispered my name. This is it. This is the moment I've been waiting for. I don't know what will come out of this but I know I want it...