Regrets

I groaned placing my head on the textbook, I used to be so good at science " you know if you don't wanna continue I can pack up and we can pick up on this next week" I looked up, tilting my head staring at my tutor " it's fine Manny I can do it, it's just frustrating and I've been super absent minded and I know but i'm sorry, I do need this i'm not like the others who just use the time to spend time with you" I muttered sitting up and adjusting my book so I can continue trying to ace this study session to ace the test.

He smiled softly and patted my head " I know that, you practically didn't even know who I existed until like what? two weeks ago" he laughed and I pouted because he wasn't gonna let it go, I mean how could you blame me?

I didn't really know anyone like that especially not anyone on sport teams.

"we have an hour left then schools over and the sessions over" he inquired and I nodded starting to take more notes, we sat in Silence for a little till we heard the door being shoved open so hard it hit the wall.

I lifted my head still looking at the paper and finished my notes before casting my eyes up at Le-Seans friend from the other day "hey Manny Coach needs us its an emergency are you able to leave.. whatever this is?" he asked kind of rushed.

Manny looked at him then me and I nodded " it's fine I can ask my dad for help tonight go ahead" I waved my hand trying to sound believable even though I wanted to cry but never the less it sounded urgent so I wanted him to go plus, I could just ask my dad after work. 

"Ah i'm so sorry i'll add in an extra hour and an extra day next session again i'm so so sorry" he awkwardly smiled before getting up and packing his stuff " wait for me Raymond" he waved off to me before running to catch up with his teammate.

I sighed and continued writing for a bit more before collecting my things, as I walked to the back to put my book in my extra locker while my phone went off like crazy.

It was weird because I recall turning it off, I reached into my pocket and saw it was still off. I looked around before spotting phone under the table I was just at, buzzing as the screen had the letter M with four hearts.

I walked over picking it up and taking it out as I looked around for Manny, I didn't know where the practice room was but I knew where the dean was so I was gonna just go turn it in to him.

--

I sat outside after the final bell waiting for Le-Sean to come get me, the fact that my house is 3 mInuTes AwaY if YoU TaKe the MaIn sTrEet He sure was taking a while to get here. I sighed as I fished out my phone an checked to see if he or anyone had messaged me confirming that they were here, yet nothing.

I sighed and waited another five minutes but he still didn't show up and it was starting to get chilly, it's almost 5 and I gotta be at work by 6. Letting out another sigh, I just started walking home and boy was that fun.

I put my airpods in and played my cleaning playlist shuffling it while I walked down the street. Checking my phone every now an again to see if anything changed but it didn't and I was already onto the third song. I looked up seeing as I somehow made a wrong turn even though I walk this route every fucking day.

I turned around and walked back to the coffee shop that was close by and waited outside " i'm just gonna order me a lyft to the house and then to work" I muttered and pulled up the app looking around for the stores address. I flinched at the sound of loud music pulling up before it cut off and a bunch of boys piled out laughing about something.

"Oh shit, she's cute" someone said making me look up considering it was just us here " who?" I heard a familiar voice making me kind of upset. He'd seen my message nearly 20 minutes ago yet here he is " whoever this girl is, my names Josh whats yours?" he asked and Hayes came out the car " Oh Hey Le-Sean ain't that yo sister" He laughed.

" oh hey Ria" he lifted his head at me and i scoffed " rot in hell you deadbeat piece of shit" I glared at him as my lyft got here " what'd I do? it's not my fault your parents didn't buy you car i'm not here for you to depend on" he shrugged not fazed.

I scoffed " I HAVE a car but instead of me walking to school or taking my car YOU took me and YOU promised to pick me up over 20 minutes ago asshole" I said entering the car " good luck getting in the house" He looked confused " you better not lock me out" he yelled after the car pulled off.

"sibling trouble?" the driver asked and I shook my head " step sibling our parents are getting married and he's a douche I honestly don't see how his mom puts up with him" I sighed and the Lyft driver let out a laugh. 

I looked at him for the first time since he started driving" i'm Azariah but people call me Zari or Ria" I introduced myself and he reached back to shake my hand " Ryan" he said as he pulled up to the house " I'll be right back I just gotta grab my work clothes" 

Rushing out the car i entered the house as I saw Le-Sean and his goons driving up I grabbed my bag from the wall that my dad always prepares for me with my clothes before exiting. 

" Azariah NO!" He yelled as I locked the door he looked at me then my hand which held my keys, I looked at him and then my hand before running for the car as he ran for me. I took track but he did too and he does football so he caught me.

" give it up!" he growled as we rolled around the lawn fighting for my keys " NO you dick" I bit his arm making him let go but as I ran he tripped me. I kicked his hand and crawled away but he got up as I reached the door " give them up" he warned as he had me cornered against the door, I tapped the car and the window rolled down so I fell backwards into the Lyft making him stare at me mouth agape.

" guess you're gonna have to wait till I get home at 10 tonight" i stuck me tongue out as he glared at the me and the car before pulling off.

--

It was 8 and the restaurant was busy as heck but we closed at 11 and my shift ended at 10 so I didn't have to lock up.

I walked out drying my hands as I went to take the next tables order " hey babygirl" I smiled seeing my dad " papa!" I looked over to see Lanna and Kristiana sitting across from him " hey " I waved shyly seeing as he wasn't alone this time. They both smiled " did lele drop you off?" Kristiana asked and i tilted my head " You mean Le-Sean?" I asked

She nodded her head and I shook mines " nope caught a lyft home and here that douche left me" I pouted and Lanna shook her head " I can't stand him sometimes i'm sorry about his behavior " she apologized on his behalf but I shook my head

"nada de que preocuparse" I replied before correcting myself " I mean nothing to worry about anyways what could I get you guys?" I readied my pen

" ah can I have the pancakes with extra chocolate chips?" Kristiana asked " of course, you want chocolate milk or strawberry?" I asked " Strawberry" I nodded jotting it down " Can I get the shrimp pasta with parsley and a fruit punch" Lanna closed her menu and I wrote her order down. 

" Zari!" Ashton called out " be there in a sec! what about you pops? the regular or something else?" I asked and he rolled his eyes " the regular extra cheese please" he said politely with a British accent making me nod.

I walked back to the kitchen hanging the order up on the little ringer before walking into the office " yes Ashton?" I asked covering my hands in hand sanitizer before taking a seat in front of him " you coming over tonight? it's our usual night" he indicated reminding me and I shook my head " not tonight my dads getting married and we are having a ' newly wedded family night' and I can't miss it " He tilted his head " but I thought he wasn't planning on getting anyone new and ' not replacing' the old?" he looked utterly confused and it was kind of cute " yeah well I guess we both were wrong" I said as my lap buzzed, we had buttons that buzzed when our orders were ready " that's my cue " I muttered and he sighed before giving me a hug and kissing my cheek " it's 9;30 get ready to go "

He was the managers son and also happened to be my boy best friend we'd known one another since 3rd grade, they had to move when I was 14 but he refused to go and my dad took him in for two years till his parents came back. 

Tonight was bfsogp that meant : Best friend sleep over gossip party and because of this new family stuff I had to miss it. I don't mind though because I do have to study tonight.

"alright here you guys go, Chocolate pancakes with extra chocolate chips, shrimp pasta with parsley and the usual melted deluxe cheese fries with extra bacon and hot sauce" I placed their plates down and then followed with the drinks.

" alright dad i'll see you at home" I kissed his cheek " bye ya'll" I walked away quickly before he could offer to drive me again like he does every time he comes here, ironic every time I have to catch a ride or walk to work he appears.

I changed out of my work uniform and into a pair of Jeans and a tank top with my denim button up, I yawned as I grabbed my keys and headed out the store staring at my phone trying to find a song to listen to while i walk home. As soon as I went to look up I bumped into someone " shit my bad" I apologized before looking up at the person frowning as I saw a backside " its o- oh its just you" Le-Sean frowned seeing me " lets go i'm your ride home" he pulled me along to his car.

I scoffed as we made it and he opened the door " nuhuh" I turned to walk away and he stopped me, shoving me inside the car and getting in, I buckled my seat not in the mood for him or his mood swings.

He had on shades and his grip on the steering wheel was extremely tight, we drove in complete silence something that hasn't happened anytime we have ever been near one another. 

We arrived at the house and as we got seated he still refused to remove the glasses off of his face " Le-Sean " I spoke up and yet he didn't answer " Sean" I said again but once again I had zero avail which kind of irked my nerves " lele" I said again trying to use the new found nickname, he snapped his head my direction " what!?" He sounded pissed " remove the shades its a rule in this house" I mean I wasn't wrong.

Shoes Coats and hat off at the door, once rested in the house Shades were to come off and no phone at the dinner table unless need be. He scoffed and turned away " I mean it " yet he still did none the less but ignore me. Having enough I reached over to remove them but he leaned back making me fall on top of him " remove them or I will" I warned making him laugh.

I snatched them off catching him off guard but in reality I was and I felt bad " i'm sorry I didn't know" I stuttered and he shoved me back, snatching the glasses " who did that?" I asked following him down to the basement " none of your fucking business" he glared at me.

He face was so messed up he had a wound on the side of his eye and it was starting to bleed as on his other eye he had a split going down his eyebrow bleeding but not much " i'm going to bed" he opened his door and I heard the bed creek. 

I went into my room grabbing a first aid kit and coming into his room " get up" he sat up and glared at me " i'm just patching your wounds so they don't get infected and you end up looking more ugly" I taunted as I sat on his bed and opened the kit, he didn't fight instead just sat there waiting patiently for me. 

I cleaned both the cuts and set a band-aid on them " all done" I said before finally looking into his eyes, he stared back into mine before crashing his lips onto mine. Flashbacks of school appeared into my head as I kissed him back. Pushing him down onto the bed I straddled his lap and wrapped my hand around his throat. 

I squeezed softly and started sucking on his bottom lip making him moan softly and tug at my top.

I sat up removing it as he leaned up to start sucking on my neck again, I moaned softly as he attacked the same sweat spot he found at school making the hickey a darker purple than it already was.

He flipped us over and began grinding into me, I gripped his hair in my left hand and wrapped my right arm around his shoulders as we started making out again " mm~ fuck we can-can't do this we'll get caught" I huffed as I was out of breath, He clicked his tongue as I turned my head looking at the clock

"shit" I shoved him up and stood up putting my tank top and denim jacket back on " it's 11:15 they're back" I quickly took my kit and as I went to remove myself from his room he grabbed my hand " i'm sorry about school and what we did" I looked back at him before shaking him off and putting my kit away so I could find the make-up to cover this shit up.

I always find myself in this type of Situation, i become vulnerable and the fuck-boy of the century tries to have his way, I blow them off and then become a girl that 'leads' them on when they realize i'd rather have a solid relationship instead of sex.

Hell when my bestie turned 17 me and him got so wasted we almost fucked if it weren't for the fact when I get in the bed when intoxicated, I fall asleep instantly.

He doesn't remember that night all that well but I do and i'd rather not go through that day again. I smiled as I heard the front door open, dad promised to help me with my science after family night.