I'm Only Human After All 1

(This Snippet Is Based On A Challenge Where You Are Inserted Into The Body Of Shinji Matou On The Day Archer Is Summoned By Rin Tohsaka During The Fifth Holy Grail War. You Get Three Class Cards To Choose From, But Only The Original Classes. And Three Non-OP Essences. But What Makes This Challenge Harder Is That Even The Essences You Chose Get Nerfed Horribly And Will Only Unlock Their Full Potential After The War Is Over. So The Objective Is Simple: Survive.)

Essences Used: Magus, Generic Isekai Protag ( Cheat: The End), Holy Church (Nasuverse)

Class Cards: Perseus (Assassin), Merlin (Caster), Lancelot (Saber)

I believed in the Lord above, not out of belief but because I wanted to.

I wanted to believe that there was something more after we shed this mortal coil: the eternal reward, the endless happiness before an inevitable end, and the love of a being that would judge me fairly for my life.

Being born into a catholic family, especially one of Italian descent, was chaos enough, especially when they all were very stubborn in their opinions. The best and worst of this was my grandmother. If she wanted to do something, she would do it, or you would get a slap from a spoon or belt you chose.

It was the first rule I could remember learning as my father, who would later die of a heart attack in 2010, would say, "Salvatore, We're going to meet my Mom, and for the love of the Lord above, by no means do you ever talk back to her or annoy her."

The way he made her sound made a five-year-old me tremble in my small boots as it was winter, I believe, and when I entered my paternal Grandparents' home, I saw a small, spindly woman, yet she had the lungs of a banshee, but the warmth of the sun. Whenever I felt lost, I would call upon her guidance.

He was the one who introduced me to the Catholic faith, and I mean that quite literally, as she was apparently the one who held me during my baptism. When asked if I ever felt forced to be a Catholic, I would say yes as I forced myself to learn, maybe originally out of a desire to fit in with my family, but eventually, God became a pillar all on its own.

I would pray before any big exams, I would pray whenever my family members fell ill, and I would cry and scream when I lost them. There are many things I would say to God, and a decent number of them I would regret.

Why do you take my family from me?

Why do we live in a world where we can't trust our neighbor?

Why can I never see a sign of your existence?

So much doubt remained even now, and in the face of my own death staring back at me, I am party doubtful but also at peace. It started out as a normal day where I would go to church on Sunday, and since we were holding a fundraiser for a nearby school, there was a decent amount of people there, but as I walked in, I was followed by a man who pulled out a pistol and held an automatic weapon in his bag.

He asked everyone to get on the ground and give him all the fundraised money. The people complied, but as a child who was too young to control themselves, he would not stop crying, and his mother had been separated from him in the chaos.

 I was next to him, and as the man pointed the gun at me as I covered the child, he looked me in the eyes and asked a question.

"Do you believe in God?" I was almost tempted to laugh at his copying of the Columbine question, but it felt pertinent at this moment.

I, still covering the kid as he shook in my arms, answered, "Yes, I do."

He then put the gun to my head, and as I stared back, he fired a shot, and I knew nothing.

The man would then leave the church but would find himself arrested as he wasted his time asking me that question.

The kid would try to rouse me as the other churchgoers would rush me to an ambulance, but the body bag was put on immediately. I know this because I watched it happen as a sort of out-of-body experience. But as I tried to rouse some form of emotion, I couldn't, as if they were being suppressed in some way.

I would float there for what seemed like days, and it was.

I would watch my body be lowered into the ground, and my headstone put up. At that moment, it all fell on me at once, and I cried for a life unlived to the fullest, but after a few tears, I would rub them away, and after turning around, I saw a man sitting at a table, and I walked over and bowed before him. 

He would sit there, and I would bow for what seemed like hours.

The rain fell around us, making no noise as he stared right through me.

'Why do you bow?" The being asked as I could barely form a reply.

"I do not feel worthy to look at you."

"But why?"

"Because I felt doubt because I felt unworthy and had failures in belief. Or I just never felt worthy of a reward." The man would then stand and grip me by my shoulders and pull me up, and I would see nothing and everything at the same time.

I could say nothing at the pure beauty I was seeing, but the figure then sat me down and said, "You are my son. I could never feel you were unworthy, but I can see that my words may not be enough to show that. The modern ear has made belief fall into doubt and zealotry."

"May I ask a question? Wait, you are omniscient, so you would know the question."

"Yes, I do, and the answer is simple: free will is a paradox. It is the gift of nearly all sentient beings, but it would seem pointless to believe in it due to the necessity of pre and post-cognition. But here's where the Paradox comes in. Free Will is simultaneously the weakest and the strongest force in the universe. It has shattered worlds and made even the weakest of men and women the strongest beings out there. Yet most allow fate to move at its speed because all beings have a fate: to be born, live, and then die. Is it just? No. Is it fair? No. But even I have an after and have accepted it." The answer confused me even more as he sighed to himself.

'You are not convinced. I can see it so I will offer you a choice. You may pass on and see your family past those pearly gates or be given another chance. To see where you could go."

"Don't you already know the result of this conversation?"

"No, I do not because I can decide not to."

"You aren't God, are you?"

"I am a God but not the Big G. He is something beyond the limits of the hyperverse or omniverse. There was a beginning, and there will be an end, and whether or not he is the one that brings it about, no one can truly know. So what is your choice?"

I sit back in the chair, and before I can ask, he already responds, "If you're wondering, your family will be completely safe. You have my word, and even if you fail, unless your soul is destroyed, you shall return to their arms. So what is your choice?" Looking towards the summoned door, I went to reach for the handle but then stopped.

Closing my eyes, I smiled to myself as I saw the words on my headstone change and the words that verified my choice. Looking at the being, I shook his hand while half expecting to be turned into a frog, but as if sensing my thoughts, he chuckled and said, "Yeah, that Disney film really put a damper on handshakes after deals. But don't worry, no frogs will be harmed in the making of this deal today ."

He then summoned three vials and then a stack of cards, and he then started spreading out the cards before me. A hundred cards appeared before me, and as he stopped summoning the cards, he gave me the rules.

"Alright, my friend, you are going to a rather dangerous place, so you must arm yourself. And I am not a malicious being, so you get these bottles to drink and gain a variety of powers and a choice of three cards. I would warn you to take your time when picking the cards, as they may determine your fate. Now pick a card, any card." As he says this, I drink from the three bottles, and after drinking them, I feel nothing.

"Oh, you won't feel a change until you get a body. So now pick the cards. Even I am somewhat excited about this." I then look down to the rows of cards and follow my faith. I let the world guide me and pick up three blank cards.

As the being sees the card, he smiles as if seeing a truly interesting subject.

"I see the first, the hero maker and a great warrior. You have some good luck, my friend. So now I am going to download some basic information for the world you are going to as I can't have you be totally unprepared. Now close your eyes for this." I follow his instruction and feel the fingertips pierce my mind as new information floods my being, and I wince seeing the world I am going to.

As the information stops, he then says, "You may open your eyes now." I do so and see the table, cards, and vials gone. As he walks up to me, he nods to himself and grips me again before throwing them through a portal.

"Godspeed, my friend! Oh, and watch out for a certain Preist!" What priest is he talking about?

But before I could ask the question, my sight went dark as I felt something grip my back.

(Third Person POV)

"Are you sure about this?" A being who seemed as if they were made of pure light and power asks.

"Yes, as faith should be rewarded, should it not?" The being who gave the vials says as the world crumbles around them.

"Besides, it's not as if he will become a threat to the multiverse, not where he is going, at least. Those two would take care of him if he does become a threat."

"What if he grows strong enough to refuse them and go rogue? What then?"

"Then we deal with him; besides Anakim, I thought you would understand the most, being what you are." Anakim then nodded to himself before forming a portal to what looked like endless silver cities.

"Be careful Emilio, that is all I ask." Emilio then nods as Anakim goes into the portal. Emilio stares at the place the soul was and smirks before disappearing into a world that seems like something out of Eastern fantasy.

"I know you will succeed, little believer. Don't let the light die, my friend." Emilio leaves, and the world's time continues as if nothing had occurred.

(Shinji Matou POV)

The being was definitely right about those vials, as I could feel how my body was better than before. In my old life, I could not see out of my left eye, and to see out of my right, I needed glasses, but now I could see even without assistance. I look at my reflection and see a wiry-haired boy looking back at me.

And then the memories hit me, and I immediately throw up in a nearby garbage can at the terrible things this body has done. Abuse of all kinds, unloved, untalented, and abandoned in their own home. The retching ended after a minute, but I could barely look at myself in the mirror as I wondered if this was some kind of punishment. I took a breath, sat down, and thanked the Lord for my good fortune.

While God may not exist in this multiverse because "God" in this multiverse is Gaia and Alaya or the Root, his teachings remain, and his light shall guide me. I beg that this child's soul is made to be bettered in his embrace and love. But now, this is my second chance, my trial, and my only option.

Looking at the book that held the command seals, I grabbed it, and something interesting happened. I began to understand the various formulas and other aspects of the book. Essentially, the book seems to be some type of conduit for the command seals to return to and, if destroyed, make any remaining command seals return to the original owner, Sakura, my new "sister."

My eyes were empty thinking of what had been done, but for now, I may beg for forgiveness later. For now, I looked at the date on my flip phone and saw that it was January 30th, 2004. The war begins tomorrow, with Archer being summoned on February 1st and Artoria being summoned on February 3rd.

I had one day to prepare, and according to the being, my arrival and change will go unnoticed for sure until tomorrow past that time. It is up to them to fool them.

Considering the fact that I have no means of fighting the king of Heroes nor fooling his clairvoyance, I only hope to amuse the arrogant king until I am ready to end him.

The problem was figuring out a way to end the King of Heroes, as the information I received only included the main players in the war but nothing about them, and other than my memories, I have nothing but the vials and the cards. Thankfully, the three class cards are held within a soul space that only I may enter and use.

Taking them out, I look at the cards and see on one the image of a man wielding a black blade, a white-haired man in a tower, and a knight with purple hair wielding a sword. I could get a feel for the cards themselves, and while all three of them promised power, they all promised it in a different way, with the first having the ability to cut the immortal, the second having the ability to world magecraft, and the third a knight seeking redemption.

Adding onto this, I saw my magic circuits open all 45 of them, and they glow bright blue and then recede into my body, yet the feeling of strength remains as I feel like I could squash a rock in my hands, but I continued to focus on my objective living through this war.

Looking at the clock, I saw that it was time to get ready for school, which was funny as I had graduated college before, but now I was back to being a sophomore in high school.

I miss those years.

Sighing to myself, I look myself in the eyes and try to emulate Shinji to the best of my ability and practice his various facial expressions, but I remain silent as I sense a being watching me and look to the window to see Rider staring at me. I embody Shinji by having an annoyed expression and saying, "Has Sakura already woken up?"

She remained silent, yet as she looked at me, she said, "No, she has already made her way downstairs. I advise doing the same." Even if she tries to hide it, I can sense her concern as any failings for either of us end in both of us being punished, so I scoffed and got myself ready.

Upon leaving the shower, I put on my school clothing, and as I headed downstairs, I saw Sakura sitting with what looked like an old raisin left out in dog shit staring right at me as I did a slight bow and said, "Good morning, Grandfather." He hums to himself as Sakura prepares breakfast.

The entire affair is but silent tension, but as Zouken finishes using his worms to eat the food, I almost gag at the sight of the slimy and disgusting creatures writhing around in his flesh. He then looks at me and says, "Shinji, I expect very little of you, but do try to find out at least what servants the other masters hold. Feel free to die in glorious fashion."

He then hobbles away as Sakura looks at me with a mixture of emotions. As she cleans up the breakfast plates quickly, I decide to join her, which surprises her, and as she looks at me, I emulate Shinji again and say, "What are you looking at? I'm trying to get moving here! Can't have Emiya wondering where I am, as you and I both know his insufferable curiosity."

The act seems to sell as she returns to doing the dishes, and we head to school, but with each step, I feel my mind growing heavier with endless possibilities. I do hope to succeed, but I am only human, after all.