Courage and Decisiveness

Feng Xiaojun looked away as Jinxing kept staring at him with his hot gaze. Of course, he didn't expect the cute Jinxing to actually act like a scoundrel and kissed him on the lips. This was his second kiss with his first kiss with Papa dragon, Long Shan, back then. 

But that didn't mean he hated it. In fact, Xiaojun couldn't help but redden as he got stared at by Jinxing. 

"Is that really your first kiss?" Xiaojun asked.

"Yes! Xiao-Ge is my first kiss, and I'm really grateful that you are!" Jinxing giggled happily. He showed his signature box smile and tried to hug Xiaojun, but Xiaojun dodged, so Jinxing only hugged empty air. 

Xiaojun cleared his throat and fixed his hanfu, "We're not close enough to do something like this too much."

"Then, how do we become closer?" Jinxing asked enthusiastically. "He truly wanted to be closer to his Xiao-Ge, or even better, to be his boyfriend."

"I—I'm not planning on dating someone right now," Feng Xiaojun said. Honestly, he also didn't know what his heart desired. He wanted to date someone, of course, but he was afraid that it wouldn't last long.

Besides, he had a reputation to maintain. What'd happen if he dated someone and it was leaked all over the news? He was exceptionally terrified that the stock of Feng Group would plummet after the news had been leaked out. 

Feng Group was now on top of the game, and Feng Xiaojun wouldn't want to push the company to ruination just because he wanted to fall in love. Maybe not now… maybe never…

Xiaojun sighed. He glanced at Jinxing. 

Compared to him, Jinxing was extremely lucky. He already had everything set up for him, and he could still afford to fall in love with someone. 

'I want to fall in love too…' Xiaojun said in his heart. But he shook his head to regain his rationalization and said to Jinxing, 

"Jinxing, why are you so open about your interest in me? Do you know that homosexuality is frowned upon in society?"

"Eh? I guess it's frowned upon. But I don't really care. I'd rather fall in love with the person that I choose, rather than following the society standard," Jinxing leaned on the wall leisurely. He answered the question without a burden in his words.

"Xiao-Ge, if you continue to worry about what other people think, then you might not be able to realize how much you've missed. So I'd rather risk it all than just letting the society take control of me," Jinxing said.

"Then, how about your parents? Are you not afraid that they'll hate you if you're gay?" Xiaojun asked again. 

Feng Xiaojun and Jiang Jinxing had a similar background, so Xiaojun could relate to Jinxing more. Jinxing seemed to think for a second, then he shrugged. 

"I'm already twenty three years old, I know I might become a disappointment for my parents because I don't like girls, but I'd rather be happy for myself first. There are a lot of achievements to be proud of. rather than forcing yourself to fit ideal criteria."

"Because I am a human who wants to feel love," Jinxing said. 

Feng Xiaojun stared at Jiang Jinxing. He barely remembered Jinxing back then in high school, except that he was a cowardly and silent type of person.

Who would've expected that kid grew into a handsome young man, with a box smile and such decisiveness in his heart. Even Xiaojun didn't have that kind of courage. 

He felt that Jinxing's courage flowed into his heart also, and he just gazed at Jinxing in silence, awed by his courage and decisiveness.

Jiang Jinxing got worried as his Xiao-Ge stopped talking so suddenly. He turned his head to check on his Xiao-Ge, then realized that Xiao-Ge had been staring at him for a while. It was the first time that Xiao-Ge ever stared at him, so Jinxing jolted a bit and became awkward.

His cheeks started to redden, and he asked, "X—Xiao-Ge, please don't stare at me for too long. You're making me awkward…" 

Jinxing got even more embarrassed and tried to dodge. He was the first one to initiate, but when his Xiao-Ge actually gave him a bit of attention, he became so embarrassed that he didn't know what to do next.

"D—Do you want something? I can leave now and get it for you—WHA!"

Jiang Jinxing was shocked when Xiao-Ge suddenly hugged him tight. Jinxing's arms flailed around as he got panicked when his Xiao-Ge hugged him. 

"X—Xiao-Ge! Is there something wrong? Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to—"

"No, you said the right thing, Xing'an. I'm hugging you because you're very courageous. I admire you," Xiaojun said. 

Jinxing finally stopped flailing around. He carefully put his hand around Xiao-Ge's waist and reciprocated the hug. They gently embraced each other, with Jinxing tightening his hug, pulling Xiaojun deeper.

"Courage… huh…" Jinxing knew that Xiao-Ge had repressed his urge for so long. Jinxing knew that he was gay the moment he met Senior Feng, and his gaydar told him that Senior Feng also had the same orientation as him.

It was just… he decided not to care, but Xiao-Ge was someone who put so much emphasis on his reputation.

And Jinxing knew it wasn't easy either, so he didn't want to push Xiao-Ge.

"Xiao-Ge, I will wait until you're ready."