Track 15: Bad Habit

"Bad Habit" by Ben Platt

"You always said that I'd come back to you again

'Cause everybody needs a friend, it's true

Someone to quiet the voices in my head

Make 'em sing to me instead, it's you

Hate to say that I love you

Hate to say that I need you

Hate to say that I want you

But I do"

-------------------------

Summer's POV

"Let her go," I heard Gio said as he was still holding my other hand. But being stubborn as he is, Shien tugged my hand that he was holding.

"No. You. Let go of her," Shien said with finality in his voice.

I'm starting to feel irritated by both of them. I hated that Shien was acting so weird like this. And felt puzzled that Gio was like this tonight. I looked at both of them who were still on their own silent fight.

"Let go of me," I said that made both of them look at me, hoping their name will be chosen like it was a game. I forcedly removed my hand on each of them and said, "Both of you. Give me a peaceful night please?"

"Summer," I heard Shien's small voice. I fight the urge to look at him because if I will do that, I know that I will come to him this time. There's something on how his eyes look at me that makes me hopeful for some unknown reason. And I don't like that.

So I decided to do something that will make him stop. "Gio, let's go," I said and grab Gio's hand. Gio came with me and pretended as well. He even holds my hand properly, intertwining them as we went out of the hall. I suddenly wanted to look back to see if Shien was still looking at us.

Gio squeezed my hand and said, "No. Don't do it Summer."

I looked down and tried to keep my tears from falling. Good thing, as we walk towards the beach the sea breeze was wild and loud. It can keep my soft moans buried in the air.

When we came to the shore, Gio let go of my hand and removed his jacket he was wearing. He placed it on the sand and sat on one of its sides. Then, he tapped the other side, asking me to sit with him.

I silently obeyed and sat with him. We quietly looked at the sea. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes when Gio broke the silence.

"The first time I saw you, I really thought you liked me," he said and chuckled a little bit. "But as days went by, I figured out myself that I was wrong."

I looked at him. I was surprised at what he said. "Gio," calling his name was all I said. I can't say anything because at some point he was right.

"I really wanted to try to fell in love with you actually. But I can't. Good thing I realized that I am not making you hopeful by my wrong actions." He said to me with sincerity. "I am sorry, Summer."

I grabbed my knees together to hug them. I suddenly wanted to be real at him as well. "I actually did like you for a moment. It was just a small crush and whenever you came my way, I never hope for anything. I know that you were just a nice friend to everyone."

Gio laughed at what I said and said, "So my moves didn't affect you? Then, you're so dense Summer!"

I laughed with him as well. Then I continued, "Yeah. I was dense at you because there's this guy that's always bothering me. He was like keeping me to look at you." I said with a fake smile.

Gio kept his silence. He was like silently urging me to continue what I was saying.

"I didn't realize that he was starting to make an impact on my life. Every small or big encounter with him, makes me be pulled towards him and asked for more." Telling it to someone for the first time makes me feel vulnerable for some reason.

"Was it Shien?" Gio asked curiously.

I nodded at him and continued, "But I know that it was not a good idea. I know that I might be broken in the process so I was distancing myself to him."

Gio nodded like he clearly understands what I was saying.

"I know that Shien and Sass liked each other. They were such a beautiful couple. They were destined for each other. And I don't want to be that kind of woman. Do you know what I mean?" I said to Gio, hoping he was not judging me at the moment.

"But, every glance, touch or move he was doing, makes me think otherwise. I suddenly wanted to get something that was not mine in the first place. He was like a bad habit that starts to crumpled my morals like this." And after I said that, I cried freely like an exploding bomb. "It makes me feel bad and dirty."

Gio hugged me using his arm that was close to me. "I understand Summer. I understand."

I cried for some more. Then, I said to him, "Thank you for getting me out a while ago. I don't know what's your purpose but it helped me."

"Don't worry. I'm just protecting what's mine in the first place. And what you wanted to be part of that plan." Gio said to me like it was just a normal thing to do.

"What do you mean?" I puzzledly asked him.

"I am protecting my future wife," Gio said and smile. "I am protecting Sass."