chapter 16.

Elaine decided to go for a walk by herself that afternoon, bringing along her cane despite the fact that it never once touched the ground, instead she carried it at her side like an umbrella with the possibility of rain; she may need it, but it was more precautionary. She enjoyed the sights and sounds of the calm Wednesday afternoon, stopping by the school to watch the children play on their lunch break. Her eyes followed two little girls, probably no older than six or seven, as they collected an array of pine cones beneath the large pine tree. The first little girl reminded her so much of Jane that for a moment she had to pinch herself, making sure she hadn't been dreaming or lost in some memory from so long ago. Her hair was strawberry blonde and cut just below her earlobes, her eyes wide and blue like a summer ocean, but her smile was most reminiscent of Jane. She had a dimple in her chin and crooked front teeth that, hopefully, someday she would grow into just like Jane had.

The two little girls giggled as they used the hem of their shirts to carry the pine cones, each find more exciting than the last. Watching them play in such a carefree manner made Elaine miss teaching, but it had been such a long time since she had. Mostly Elaine missed being around children, especially her own. She was blessed with three children – Jane, her oldest, and the two boys, Norm and Henry. Jane married right after she graduated from high school and moved to Denver with her husband, Jesse, and soon gave birth to the first of their four children. Norm worked hard for many years but eventually settled down with a woman who had immigrated from the Philippines, whereas Henry married the girl next door after, unfortunately, getting her pregnant only a few months shy of graduating college. She didn't realize that the time with her children would go by so fast, and looking back on it she felt like it only lasted a few minutes. One minute they were swaddled in her arms, rosy pink and gasping for their first breath of fresh air, the next they were packing the last of their boxes from their childhood rooms as they prepared to set out on their adult lives.

Elaine thought about what it would be like to go back in time and what she would change if she did. Frankly, she thought, she wouldn't change a thing except to live more in the moment. Perhaps she would cheer a bit louder at their soccer games, or kiss them a bit longer before they went to sleep at night, and she knew for certain that she would hold them even if they said mom, you're embarrassing us. Because she didn't want to change the lives she had helped shape, she wanted to live them over and over again.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" A voice said quietly beside her, almost causing Elaine to jump as she snapped out of her thoughts, but instead greeted the face with a friendly smile in return.

"Oh, to be young again," Elaine replied, steadying herself on the chain-link fence. The woman beside her smiled in return, sighing as though she, too, had been caught up in a whirlwind of the past.

"You have children?" The woman asked.

Elaine nodded. "Three, all grown now with kids of their own. Seems like just yesterday they were in this same schoolyard."

"You're blessed," The woman commented, a forlorn look soon covering her face. Elaine questioned if the woman was alright, and she found herself weighing her shoulders from side to side. "I never had the hands of little ones to hold."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Elaine said, and she really was sorry. She didn't know what her life would have been like had she not raised her kids, and it was a thought she didn't want to ponder over for too long. "They really are something else. Just look at how enamored they are with things we often take for granted."

"Do you see your children?"

"Not as much as I would like to, they're all spread out around the country. My daughter is the closest and she's still two hours away. But she visits when she can, and that's all I can ask for," Elaine replied, stepping away from the fence as the school bell chimed out, calling the children back inside for the second half of their day.

The woman beside Elaine looked shocked, making a slight ticking noise with her mouth as she watched the children scatter back inside of the building. "How selfish of them – you breathed life into them and they run away from you?" The woman muttered, vitriol filling her tone. Elaine was a bit put off by the comment, immediately coming to the defense of her children. "They've grown up, that's all, I won't hold it against them. Remember how eager you were to leave your parents? I know I couldn't wait a second longer after I graduated from high school before I married my husband and moved away from my parents," Elaine said.

The expression on the woman's face went flat, her eyes void of any emotion as she began to step away from Elaine. "I never had parents," The woman said, almost too quietly for Elaine to hear her.

Before Elaine could interject, she heard a vehicle pull-up behind her, the window rolling down immediately after. Elaine motioned for the woman to give her a second as she turned to the vehicle, noticing that it was John Shop. Her eyes filled with stars as she dreamily walked over to the side of his truck, leaning against it as he beamed his brightest smile at her.

"Hey there, young lady, you out for a walk this afternoon?" John said, watching as she fanned herself playfully.

"Oh, don't be so flattering to such an old woman like me. You ought to be chasing those pretty young things downtown," Elaine joked. "And yes, I'm getting awfully tired of cooping myself up in my house due to the weather, I needed fresh air come rain or shine."

"Are you alright to get home by yourself? I could give you a lift back home if you'd like, I'm just on my lunch break," John offered. Elaine loved how polite John was, and wished that she was just a few years younger so that perhaps she had a fighting chance with him. She loved the boyish flick of his blonde hair and the way his smile seemed to melt her heart, he reminded her so much of Larry before they began dating. Larry had a certain way of looking at a woman that meant he respected every pound of flesh, regardless of how one day it would sag and droop – it wasn't about that for him. Instead Larry loved the soul inside of the body, and more importantly, he had loved Elaine's. With that image in mind, Elaine could see the same look on John's face. Elaine became so easily enamoured by men, but mostly because she loved to daydream, and as previously mentioned, because she missed her Larry with every ounce of her being – drooping flesh and all.

Elaine accepted the ride from John, but not before turning around to wish the woman she had been speaking to well, only to discover that the woman had walked away without a proper goodbye. From there, Elaine drove home with John, who asked her all sorts of questions about the type of woman she was in her younger years. He spent the entirety of his break with her, simply talking about her life and all of the wonderful things that she had experienced. They both lost track of time as they sat in her driveway that John ended up being a few minutes late when he returned to work, but before he did Elaine asked if he would like to join the spaghetti dinner that we always had on Wednesday night. He, of course, agreed to it.

I picked up the ingredients before leaving work, having finally remembered to buy the fine bread crumbs so that Elaine could teach me how to make her homemade meatballs that she said were Larry's favourite. She said that it was a recipe that had been handed down from her mother, grandmother, and so on and so forth – and it was truly the key to every man's heart. She liked to say that if he didn't love you before, he sure will now. I couldn't help but think of how simple things were in Elaine's time, or at least that's how the majority of my elders made it seem. Food and a loving woman to share it with at the end of the day seemed to be the most romantic gesture, instead of jumping through hoops for no reason at all like most of my generation did.

Elaine was excited when I told her that I finally hadn't forgotten the bread crumbs, immediately heading to the sink so that she could wash her hands and prepare her recipe. She told me that this recipe was a longstanding secret between the women in her family, and that she could very well be shunned up in Heaven for telling me how to make it, but she believed that I was just as much a part of her family as her own daughter. That warmed my heart as I washed my hands beside hers, pumping soap for her into her frail hands.

There were many things that I loved about Elaine, but one of my absolute favourite features of hers was her hands. They were always warm and soft like freshly churned butter, yet the skin that clung to her muscles and bones had become translucent over the years. I could see the major veins running between her fingers and down the back of her hand, each one like a narrow river guiding all of the love from her hands into the rest of her body. Her hands encapsulated years of motherhood and the attention to detail that came with the title; sewing buttons back onto teddy bears, picking slivers out of palms, wiping tears from swollen eyes, tucking bedsheets up towards sleeping chins – I could see all of the life she lived in her hands. She moved much slower with time, but the passion would always spark the fire inside of her.

We worked side by side for a good thirty minutes before she had to take a break, which was fine with me because I needed to start boiling the water for the pasta. She told me what ingredients she wanted in the tomato sauce tonight – a simple recipe because she didn't want to overpower the taste of her meatballs. Once the meatballs were in the oven and the pasta was coming to a boil, the front door chimed excitedly. Elaine didn't move an inch, but a smile ripped across her face – the same smile that meant she was up to absolutely no good.

"Mrs. Baker, what have you been up to? Shenanigans, I bet," I said, passing by the table as she whistled softly and twiddled her thumbs. I had a pretty good idea what she had done, trying to stop halfway down the hall at the mirror to see if my appearance was completely disheveled. I didn't look that bad, but I definitely felt under-prepared.

I cleared my throat, straightening out my shirt and tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear before I opened the door. Just one look at John's face sent my heart fluttering, trying to contain my excitement. He was such a gorgeous man in a simple way, he didn't need to do anything more than just be himself.

"Well, hello there stranger," I said, opening the door wide to allow him entrance. He had a bouquet of flowers in his arms with a variety of different colours poking out.

"It feels like it's been such a long time since I've seen you," John replied, freeing one arm at a time from his jacket before hanging it up on the coat-hanger by the door. "What's it been – two years, right? You look like you haven't aged a day."

I laughed, leading him towards the kitchen. "And you look just as dashing as you did five years ago, almost like it really has only been a day."

We walked into the kitchen laughing which made Elaine stand up straight away, almost sashaying towards us as she greeted John in a warm hug. After she pulled away he presented the bouquet to her, causing her face to light up in a way that I had never seen. She gracefully brought the flowers up to her nose, gently inhaling the soft scents that they exuded. For a moment she looked as though she was in heaven, letting out a soft sigh as her heart fluttered away.

"I figured that since Larry isn't here to give you these that I should do it for him," John said as Elaine gently reached forward to clasp her hand on the back of his neck, leaning in to kiss his cheek very softly. "And I'm sure he'd want me to wish you a happy anniversary."

I had forgotten all about Elaine and Larry's wedding anniversary, it would have been sixty-two years today. I wondered why I would let it slip from my mind, and more importantly, how John knew. Regardless, Elaine looked happier than I had seen her in quite some time, and I knew how much it meant to her that John had gone above and beyond to get her flowers. In fact, I was rather smitten by the fact that he had done so, filling my heart with warmth.

Elaine wiped remnants of tears from the corners of her eyes, turning away to hide the fact that she was, using the excuse of having to put the flowers into a vase. She told John to have a seat as dinner would be ready any minute. When she had her back turned, I grabbed John gently by the arm and pulled him into a hug. He had no idea how much the flowers had meant to her, and most of all, how happy she would be for the next while because he put in the effort to show he cared. He barely knew Elaine and yet he had done something so moving and powerful, it spoke of the depths of his character. If I hadn't liked him before, this would have won me over.

I felt his hands gently guide around my back, holding me close to him in a way that was so intimate that I felt guilty for having taken such a long time to pull away from him. For a moment I thought it might have been appropriate to kiss him, but figured it just wasn't the right time yet.

We all sat down at the table once the food was ready, digging into the hot meal while discussing various things like the weather and how soon summer would be around the corner. As the conversation flowed, Elaine went on to talk about the movie and just how much she loved it. She mentioned about the hair clips and how happy they made her, but then she went on to talk about the shoes. I tried not to show how uncomfortable I was about the mysterious gift she had received while still trying to play along that I had been the one to give it to her. She gushed on and on about them, how she couldn't wait to wear them and go dancing, she said in her dream-like voice. She segued the conversation into how I had promised to take her to a dance class, which gave me an opportunity to pull the pamphlet out of my bag to show her. Her eyes were wide like a child on Christmas morning, excitement flushing over her delicate features.

"We could start tomorrow," Elaine mentioned, pointing to the schedule. "We don't have anything planned on Thursday evenings."

"You're right, we don't. But you want to start so soon?" I questioned.

"We're not getting any younger, now are we?" She paused, looking at the two of us. "Well, maybe you two are, but I'm not."

"If that's what you want, then I'm good for it," I said, feeling Elaine gently nudge me with her foot. I raised an eyebrow as I tried to figure out why she did, trying her best not to be obvious about the fact that she was signaling me to invite John. When I didn't ask, she finally cleared her throat and focused her attention on him. "What do you think, John? Does Thursday work for you?" She asked, that mischievous smile rippling across her face again.

John almost didn't realize that Elaine was speaking to him until we both went silent, waiting for him to look at us. He chewed slowly on his food, looking at us wide-eyed in the way men often do when the words would you like to dance come out of a woman's mouth. He chuckled nervously, shuffling his food around on his plate before leaning back in his chair. "I don't think I know how to dance, ma'am."

Elaine laughed, reaching over the table to gently pat the top of his hand. "Of course you don't, that's why it's a dance class, silly."

He looked at me as if he was pleading for help, but I offered no solace. If I had to suffer through dance classes, so would John. He sighed, finally giving in and nodding. "Alright, I'll go. But just don't ask me to do any of those fancy lifting moves, because I'd hate to drop someone."

"This isn't Flash Dance, John," I laughed. "It's just ballroom."

"It's all about posture and elegance," Elaine said, straightening her shoulders and arms out, placing her fingertips beneath her chin as she gently closed her eyes. "Really it boils down to the art of being poise."

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, Elaine, but I don't believe dancing and poise go hand-in-hand," He added. "From what I've seen it's a fairly sweaty affair."

Elaine scoffed, placing her utensils on top of her emptied plate. "See, this is exactly why you need to go."

We finished our meal and I helped Elaine into the tub, seeing as how I was too busy this morning to come over to help her bathe and wash her hair. She wanted a bit of time to soak so I decided to head back to the kitchen to clean up the dishes and put the leftovers away in plastic containers, setting two aside for both John and my dad. John immediately grabbed a towel as soon as I began washing dishes, taking each one out of the dish rack to dry manually. We were quiet for a bit, looking over to each other occasionally to smile before shyly looking away. He had caught up on drying the dishes, taking each plate individually from my hands as soon as I rinsed them under the tap. His fingers slipped against my own, causing us both to freeze as we looked at each other. All I wanted was to kiss him, but my nerves were getting the best of me. I didn't know how to kiss someone who wasn't Atheson, especially because John was the polar opposite of everything Atheson was. I didn't want to kiss John the wrong way, and instead I wanted it to be perfect.

"I want you to know before you see it with your own two eyes that I am a terrible dancer," John said, his cheeks a rosy shade of red, "so please don't laugh too hard at me."

"If you turn out to be better than me, I'm going to be really, really mad," I replied, watching as he put away the plate before turning back to me and leaning against the side of the sink.

"So it's okay for me to suck but you're perfectly fine with being better? The double standards!" He joked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure you're not as bad as you think you are, it's really all about timing."

"Then show me."

"I will," I replied as if we were in a showdown.

He shook his head, pointing to the floor. "No, show me right here, right now."

"You think I dance for free?" I stopped myself, internally cringing as I thought through my sentence. "Wow, I never thought I'd make myself sound like a stripper."

He laughed as he nudged his arm up against mine, gently waving away the idea. "Okay, fine, I'll wait for tomorrow. But you have to save a dance for me."

"Fine, we'll dance tomorrow."

"Fine," He smiled, his fingers slipping into my own before I even noticed it. He gently pulled me up to him, our chests touching as he gently brought his free hand up to tilt my chin towards his. My heart fluttered in my chest, feeling my lips quaking as I tried to steady myself. His warm breath washed over my mouth, barely inches separating us. I could barely keep myself from shaking, trying to calm my breathing as he stared deeply into my eyes before glancing down at my lips.

He was about to lean in – I could feel it – but I heard Elaine call out my name from the tub. I swallowed hard, biting my lip as he gently pulled away from me, his fingers still intertwined with mine. I nodded towards the hallway, wanting more than anything to get the courage to kiss him once and for all. But I didn't, and neither did he. It was hard to pull myself away from him, feeling my heart leap out of my chest as I walked towards Elaine's bedroom and into the en-suite. As soon as I got inside, I closed the door behind me and rushed up to the tub, swooning gently to my knees as I let out a chorus of giggles. Elaine knew exactly what had happened, excitedly clapping her hands together.

"So did he kiss you?" Elaine asked as she reached out for the towel to cover herself, gently standing up from the tub.

I shook my head. "Almost."

Elaine chuckled, shaking her head at me. "If this is how you react to him not kissing you, I'm dying to see what you're like when he finally does."

"I will cease to exist," I said dreamily as I helped her step out of the tub. "Ellion Marksman will no longer live on this planet."

Elaine sighed, gently guiding each arm into her robe. "What I would do to be young again."