Quirkless, No More!
I opened the door, bat in hand and sneaked over to the man laying flat on the ground.
"Hey there buddy, watcha doing?" I asked tapping him with the bat.
He jerked up, and turned to face me only to get shitfaced with my bat.
"Wha-"
Smash!
"Hol-"
Smash!
"Hey!"
Smash
"I'm with the pol-"
You guessed it!
Smash!
I pummeled his head till it looked like watermelon squash, and then some.
Finally, stretching back, I cracked my knuckles and took a deep breath at a job well done.
I wiped the sweat off my brow.
Who'd have thought marathoning those five flights of stairs would leave me this winded. And then all this swinging.
Fhew! That's some hard work right there!
I looted the dead guy's body for all it was worth, which happened to be a map, a key and a wallet.
Picking up his sniper rifle, I looked down at the two idiots involved in a desperate struggle of life and death and took a perch off the edge of the roof.
Checking the magazine, I found four bullets.
Good enough, I suppose.
Taking aim at the man in the jacket that just screamed school shooter, I waited, and watched as the other boy in a bunny hoodie knocked him down.
Just as the man turned to jelly, taking my chance, I pressed down on the trigger, and blew his brains out, as a shocked look spread out on his face, before the light faded from his eyes.
One bullet down.
The boy in the bunny hoodie looked at the dead man and then at me, squinting to get a good look.
I cocked the lever and took another shot as his brains painted the asphalt a gooey gray.
Two bullets down.
Immediately, I rolled back, and hopped my way back down the five flight of stairs, and right over to the dead neckbeard, as the song Boom Boom Wolfenstein Remix played on my heaphones, providing some much needed background music to my life. And it was genre appropriate too!
Taking out a syringe, I extracted a vials worth of blood and capped it, shoving it into my pocket.
Just as I was about to leave, a voice behind me shouted.
"Hey! You there! What are you up to? And have you see- oh no! Koichi! You, hands where I can see them! And drop the rifle!"
I pivoted around on my heels and shot the guy straight in his chest as he went flying back and fell onto the street, groaning in pain.
Three bullets down.
I cocked the gun and walked over to him levelling it at his head.
"I'm sorry about your loss officer. I relly am. But as daddy used to say, always make it a twofer!"
"Wha-"
Bang!
All four bullets down.
"Not that I had a daddy. And I'm pretty sure no one ever calls this a twofer!"
I blew his head clean through, and used his coat to wipe the brain splatter off my shoes.
Taking his wallet and and gun, I checked his ID.
Detective Tsukauchi, Tokyo PD.
"Heh! Got the right guy, straight off the hook, eh?"
I walked off the street onto an adjacent one and followed it through to a proper road, spotting a carpark.
I pressed the button on the keys I borrowed from my rooftop friend, and a white van beeped in the yard.
Getting in, I followed the map to the destination, an abandoned air raid shelter-cum-warehouse.
I checked the door.
Open. Hmm?
I walked in and saw two men watching a baseball match on a small old timey tv, the small crunching of their chip munching reverberating throughout the hideout.
"Hey there fellas!" I called out, and pulling out the detective's gun, nabbed the two in three shots.
As I closed in on them, I noticed the blood stains from the fat one on the sofa.
Damn! Now I'll have to clean it and is that, oh goodness, yup he shat himself.
On second thought, I definitely should have killed those two in the back with a tarp on the floor.
Guess that's why they say, haste makes waste. In this case, quite literally.
Man that shit's smelly! What did this guy have for dinner?
I checked the table and spotted the culprit.
Chinese!
Dangit!
I'll never forgive the chinese for this!
Even though it was a 100% my fault.
After cleaning up the sofa and disposing off the bodies, ala fishy sleeping in the tokyo bay, I settled in for the night.
I took out the syringe of blood and injected it straight into my veins.
As my body twitched from the pain of the parasitic blood transforming it, I secretly rejoiced.
Quirkless no more, bitches!
Now I'm sure sure you're dying to know how I became the rat bastard you've seen me be.
Too bad! I ain't spilling!
Ok, Ok! Maybe just a little bit. A teeny weeny tiny winy little bit.
So our story begins here. Or there. Or anywhere in particular.
And I'm sure I don't need to tell you how I came to be, but just for the dumdums in the audience, here goes.
When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they get pregnant at 16, beat the stuffing out of each other, commit double suicide under societal pressure and leave their now orphaned quirkless child to drift through the child abuse hellscape that is the Japanese orphanage system.
Thankfully, I wasn't one of the abused ones.
Oh no no!
They only go for the good looking ones!
I guess even the man in the white van is suddenly out of candy when you're not some eye candy yourself, huh?
Regardless, I was decidedly safe. Or as safe a quirkless little boy can be in a quirk supremacist system that doesn't even treat the quirkless like human beings.
Not that I'm mad about it.
Okay, maybe just a little bit. But that's in the past.
Right now, I am lying on the sofa, I just cleaned the shit of two people off of, half dead from pain, and having defiled it again with my piss, the fresh new face of murder town, USA, or rather Japan; not that it matters anymore.
And finally I have my hands on one the greatest quirks in the series.
Now that's just a great start for our story, isn't it?