Would It Make A Difference?

They speak at the same time. The words that were supposed to follow dies in Deku's mouth. Why, why was he looking at him in horror? Why did it seem like he was about to cry?

"Deku?" He finds himself whispering in confusion.

Midoriya closes his eyes shut as he looks away, biting his lips until they bled.

"Deku, look at me." He says, unconsciously finding himself reaching out to him.

Then Deku finally did. Upon seeing the look in his eyes, Kacchan's hands fell to his side.

Why...?

"I'm sorry, Kacchan."

Why are you saying sorry...?

"I know you're thinking the reason why we're here right now is that we're gonna talk about how we'll get back together," Aren't we...? "but we're not."

"Then why...?" Kacchan's voice cracks and his whole body was shaking. "why did you ask me—"

"Because I want to apologize," Deku says. "I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you. No words are enough, I know, to fix this, to fix us—"

"There can be an us if you want to, Deku. Just come back to me, and we can go back to before."

There he is again with his eyes full of sorrow.

"Kacchan, this is the exact reason why we can't go back to before—"

"Even if I beg?"

There is a long bout of silence. Deku looks at him, dumbfounded as if he couldn't believe that those words just escaped from his mouth. But honestly, who would believe you if you told them you heard Bakugo beg?

"No, Kacchan please don't—"

"Because I will," Bakugo says. "Deku, I beg you. Come back to Yuuei. Come back home. Come back to me. I'll forget everything that happened, just please—"

"Don't even finish your sentence!" Deku shouted. Scarlet red eyes dilate in surprise. "Kacchan, can you even hear yourself?! You sound—"

"Pathetic?" Kacchan finishes for him. "You think I didn't think of that? The moment I came here, mentally prepared to beg for you to come back to me even though I already know you have someone else in your life was enough of a big slap to my face just to remind me of how pathetic I've become."

"W-w-wait... You know about...?"

"Yes, that half-and-half brat." He says the tone is dripping with menace. "He was the one who dragged you away from the crowd as I beat up shitty hair. I saw the way he was looking at you, it was a reflection of me: someone so hopelessly in love with you."

"Kacchan, please stop." Deku is close to tears as if Kacchan's words are physically hurting him. "Stop saying that."

"That I love you?" He recoils back. "But it's the truth. Even if you left me to the dust for almost a year—"

"And that's exactly why you should've forgotten about me!" Deku speaks louder. "It's been almost a year, Kacchan. I did you wrong. Please forget about me."

"Don't you think I tried?" It's Kacchan's turn to shout. "For fuck sake, Deku! Don't think too highly of yourself! I didn't just wait for you like a dog for one whole year! I tried to forget you, believe me, I tried to fuck anyone in the vicinity just to forget you but... I couldn't. I'm not like you who managed to easily replace me.

"How could you, Deku? How could you just do... that? I can't accept that you're moving on just fine without me. That you've already moved on. When I saw that kid look at you with those... those eyes of his... I knew there was something between you two going on."

He pauses, letting the tears that were brimming in his eyelids finally trickle down his cheeks.

"How could you replace me so easily? Didn't our past mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?"

"Kacchan, it did. You did. You once meant the world to me." Izuku closes his eyes, swallowing the imaginary lump in his throat. "But I don't want our past to hold me up from—"

"Well, fuck you! that's the reason why I'm held up!" He cries. "It's unfair. It's unfair," Kacchan's voice shakes. "that I'm the only one missing you, missing us. How could you do that, Deku? How can you replace me so easily?"

"Kacchan," He hesitantly takes Katsuki's hand, but Katsuki quickly slaps it away. "I didn't replace you. You'll always have a special place in my heart. I still have a part of you inside of me. You know you do, we both know that. But there are other spaces in my heart for other people to fit in aside from you. And it's the same for you."

Now, Bakugo was openly sobbing. Deku wanted to touch his shoulder and tell him it was going to be okay. But he won't. He won't lie to him. He loved him too much to promise Katsuki false hopes again.

"You could've just told me instead of disappearing out of nowhere," Katsuki cries.

It was such a painful sight to see, seeing this usually proud man crying there in front of him like a small child. And he is ready to make things worse. Not because he wants to but because Midoriya needs to.

"Would it make a difference?"

"It would make a big fucking difference, you shitty nerd!"

"I did it for your sake, Kacchan! We both know how toxic our relationship has become and it would've been better if we ended it as early as possible!"

"My sake?" He scoffs. "You disappeared out of nowhere for one whole year and all this time I was worried that I did something wrong. Now, you're telling me it's for my sake?"

"I didn't know how to tell you without hurting you," Deku reasons.

"Well, I still got hurt. And it hurts even more because you couldn't say it straight to my face!"

"I know you wouldn't say no for an answer."

"I would!" His voice falters. "I would, I would've. Anything, just anything but what you did is a better alternative to telling me."

There is a long silence between them. Underneath the sakura trees are a sobbing Kacchan and a teary-eyed. It is ironic, how the environment surrounding them is peaceful, a far cry from the turmoil they're currently facing.