Thoughts

Chapter 92: Thoughts

/I have meditated over this many a time now, and it has become abundantly clear to me. We have been too lenient before with people who have gone against order, shown to soft a grasp on those that would violate the principles our world requires to function.

My eyes have been opened as I have journeyed through the cities, witnessing priests give blessings to the poor rather than food, watched as people who had stolen food were taken in rather than punished. As shepherds of order it is our duty and our calling to uphold that which is sacred, a duty we must forever swear to follow. There is no doubt in my mind that our hands have grown soft, callouses built from starvation disappearing into nothingness as we have become fragile.

I call for a return back to that which once made up our order. To law and to justice. Freedom is a part of the order, but the people can only be free under law, and law can only exist under justice. We must punish those who take unfairly, punish those who seek to disrupt, not take them in. If a person sins, they must face consequences, they must earn redemption rather than being given it freely.

The leniency many of our colleagues have shown in newer times has disappointed me greatly, and I request of all bishops, priests, speakers, and whoever else may stand with me that we must bring this to the attention of the voice. It is imperative that our ways change, returning to our foundation in faith, in the belief that we will forever care about the good of the people by keeping them safe from those that seek to cause harm.

I propose we establish greater punishments once again. If someone is caught stealing, they should lose a finger for each gloom the product was worth, an arm from just under the elbow for every dim. Those who harm others must be put into the dungeon straight away, so that those who may be in harm's way can stay securely out of it.

We can no longer afford to coddle the people, not with recent developments towards us. I am greatly disappointed by the inaction the voice has shown towards those that seek to go against order. Perhaps she has been too caught up with her personal life and neglecting her duties?

Of course, I would never dare say that she has been neglectful of order, I know she cares for it more deeply than any of us could ever imagine. Yet, when she journeyed off from Stormbraver leaving nary a word, being gone for a month with no companion we know of, it was disrespectful towards the people of the city as well, leaving their faith to be directed at whatever local priests were up early enough, rather than the figure they were promised.

As things stand right now, I believe changes must be made. With this letter, I must kindly ask you to address your writings to the voice. Speak to her about what we wish would change, for it is our freedom that needs to be secured by the laws we lay down, and it is that freedom that gives us the right to see the law changed and justice enacted accordingly. Stand with me, brothers and sisters, for now, more than ever, we must show ourselves as one./

A letter from bishop Nemo the fanatic to his trusted associates.

- - - - - -

By the time Mercury opened his eyes, it was around midday. He didn't quite know how long he slept for, but what he did know was that his mouth felt like a desert, dry and uncomfortable. His tongue was heavy and his entire body ached, almost as if he had gone through leg day with all his muscles.

As his senses slowly returned, he gave a bleary-eyed gaze outside his trusty log, hissing as the bright sun reflected into his eyes. His head felt like it would split any minute now, and his skin was crawling all over.

In short, Mercury was fucking miserable.

Slowly, and I do mean very slowly, he began to fight against his blankets and lethargy. It felt as though there was a weight pressing down on him, his legs like big blocks of lead, but still he eventually managed to at least get upright, before letting his face flop back down onto the blanket.

"Uuuuugggggghhhhhh," he murred, the sound muffled as his face was still pressed against the soft cloth. After rolling over onto his side once more however, he had finally managed to at least get away from the comfort his bedding provided, making the process of getting up more appealing at least.

After only about 10 minutes, Mercury had finally managed his first couple steps out of the log. Feeling the sun on his fur helped a little bit with the languor he felt, and at the very least, he started taking some steps towards the river he had claimed the day before.

... Maybe claimed was a strong word.

Still, after some more shaky steps he found a wobbly rhythm, almost looking like a drunk person, unable to walk in a straight line. It was more effective than not walking, if that was any consolation. But with much determination, and the power of never giving up, Mercury eventually manged to get back to the pond, only to see a lonely deer already drinking from it.

For a moment, he let out a quiet sigh, before taking his place almost provocatively next to it, eyeing the animal up and down to see if it reacted.

Nope, nothing.

Seeing as his fellow drinker didn't seem to much mind his company, Mercury decided to get a sip of water for himself as well. Then, the deer decided to tap him with its leg, almost like chasing a fly away. Once again, the cat simply lowered his mouth to the water and began to wet his tongue when the much larger animal disturbed him.

He looked up at the deer with his eyes slightly narrowed, watching as it stared back at him with a confused, almost insulted look. Mercury stared at it, feeling his fur begin to stand on end in an attempt to make him seem bigger. He was desperate for a drink and this bitch would deny him? No shot.

A moment later he loudly hissed at the deer, watching as it seemed to slowly understand his hostile intent. Its ears began to lay down to the edges of its head, and its nostrils flaring a little, as it slightly tapped its front hooves towards Mercury.

"Meow?" he asked, roughly translating to "you wanna fucking go?". The deer then simply decided to lightly kick at him with its front leg, only to witness it stop in mid air. For a moment, there was a look of surprise and confusion on its face, as the animal attempted to take its leg back, only to find it hard some trouble doing so.

Soon, the surprise changed to panic, and it began to flail its other leg wildly in an attempt to shake free from the grip, and it did succeed, yet when the deer then tried to run away from what it didn't know, one of its legs suddenly became harder to move, causing it to stumble and fall. "Ghost hands," Mercury whispered, slowly approaching the other animal as it scrambled to get up.

When it ran off once more, he didn't use <Telekinesis> on it at all, instead deciding to simply drink some more water. Finally feeling some of that blue gold on his lips, he didn't regret the decision at all. He could feel the slight cold of the liquid rush through his veins and cool his body down, the itching on his skin receding by a bit as his headache lessened.

After drinking what felt like half the pond, Mercury decided to only walk a few more steps over until he sat atop the rock outcropping, where he folded his legs down underneath him, and closed his eyes for some more sleep. Perhaps, when he woke up he would be thirsty again, this time he would at least be far enough along to drink a bit.

For a little while, Mercury passed the days like that, hunting occasionally and drinking when he felt like it, just taking things at his own pace. Whenever he was bored, he would practice different Skills or even just meditate, and after some time, he had brought the level of <Throw> and <Novice Runecarving> up once again.

He would use his <Telekinesis> for most tasks, too, be that catching prey or crushing up leaves. It was most definitely all very important, that much he was absolutely sure of. The more he practiced, the more comfortable he got with the Skill, too. It hadn't levelled up quite yet, but it was probably pretty close, and as time had passed, the force he could apply and the precision he could do it with still improved, even without the level rising.

As of right now, Mercury could use his <Telekinesis> virtually like a human would use two hands. His coordination was better than what it used to be with the ones made wholly from flesh, but he couldn't quite use his fingers with as much finesse, still working on that bit by bit. And, of course, it wasn't like he actually had hands, so he could not use the structures normal humans have in place, like distributing weight onto the skeleton by simply letting the arm hang down. Also, he couldn't just use anything like his "grip" to hold onto something, since he just applied an actual force, and after the distance limit, that force would just disappear.

So, unfortunately, when using <Telekinesis> he couldn't quite slack off as much, though it certainly did make some things much easier, and also helped keeping his mind occupied when he was thinking. Maybe he'd even develop some sort of ticks again after some while, though that was certainly a little further in the future.

Considering how leisurely his hunting was, Mercury hadn't really expected a whole lot of levels, and he had, in fact, gotten a grand total of zero. It didn't much matter, compared to the normal animals of this forest, he was quite a bit stronger, since they never used their leftover ability points or the Skill shop, but if he came across someone strong, he still wanted to be ready, so when he did hunt, he actually used everything he had available.

With those measures, Mercury was making sure he wasn't getting rusty as he worked on himself. He slowly improved his runecarving, bit by bit, only practicing it when he actually felt like he could make some good progress. No, the majority of his time he spent in an attempt to recapture that feeling he'd gotten a couple times before.

When he awakened <Breath> at the hands of old Uunrahzil, or again when fighting the Mafia Boss and Birdbrain, and recently, when he met the caretaker as well. When he meditated, he slowly expanded his mana, trying to feel the world with all his senses. The ground, the air, the tiny noises of insects and critters, the rustling of leaves in the wind, the groaning of bark in the sun.

It felt like he got closer, but never quite there, always just that bit of a barrier in between. During another evening, Mercury sighed to himself once more. He had gotten into a habit of stargazing a bit over the last couple days. He didn't count quite how many he had been in the forest for, but he doubted it was more than a page or three.

Lately, whenever he was feeling lost, he simply looked up at the night sky, following his nocturnal urges. Those glittering things up there felt like they gave him promises of comfort, and he appreciated them very much. Sometimes, he liked to think that the moon was like an older sibling to them, protective and kind, letting the scared ones hide in its glow, and the braver ones stand all by themselves. It was a comforting thought, a little like home.

Mercury shook his head again, ducking back inside the log, enjoying the soft sound of the rain on top of it. The water slid off neatly with how it was now, protecting him from the elements, even the open ends seemed to have some resistance against the wind, making it calm and still inside. As of right now, his log was more his home than ever, outfitted with soft blankets, always warm and dry, and even protecting him.

Thinking that this thing had been with him longer than anyone else at all was a funny thought, and at it, Mercury cracked a smile as he slowly closed his eyes. He opened his ears to the world again, his nose to the scents all around him, touching the air and grass with his mana. It wasn't a complete experience since he couldn't see things, he knew that, but for now, this was enough. Trying to see things, to truly see them, felt like it would be too much to ask at this stage, so instead, he just wanted to latch onto that feeling of understanding, of belonging.

If he were a monk, perhaps he would've called it inner peace. Perhaps other people would have also called it that, like protagonists in martial arts movies, but Mercury was none of that. He was just some guy, now some cat, in another world. He hadn't made a great name for himself yet, and maybe he never would.

Recently, that idea didn't seem so painful anymore. To simply be part of the world seemed much more comforting after meeting the caretaker, after knowing that everything already breathed by itself, and that perhaps there were already things that cared about him. That feeling of homeliness, of being part of something bigger, of belonging yet being so small, it made Mercury realize that really, his actions didn't matter very much.

To some, that thought may be heartbreaking. That eventually, all of their actions will be forgotten, washed away by the annals of times, their names lost and their skeletons ground to dust in the wind. Yet to others? Those were words of comfort. All people made mistakes, and eventually, those would be forgotten. By the people, by the world.

And it was equally comforting to know, that if a mistake was made, the only people who could possibly be bothered by it were other people. Most of them were ones you would choose to surround yourself with, but even if they aren't, if they are your boss or your teacher, what does it matter if the get upset?

Is there truly any sense in that? Not really. To be mad at someone else for willingly neglecting their duties was more than justified, but getting mad at a mistake was a fruitless endeavour. The person would always know they fucked up, and the one they'd wronged could choose to ignore that. If one got mad, maybe that person would feel worse, but to what end? Mercury now thought that seeking to improve oneself just for the sake of someone who got angry was silly.

Sure, he would improve out of pettiness towards someone like Yvette, but when his boss yelled at him, all that it did to Mercury was care even less. To try and better himself for a person who didn't even care for his work, didn't understand it, that was silly. No, Mercury was now trying to better himself for a different reason.

It was for Cherry and Second, Gladiator and Juno, as well as even Uunrahzil or Kintra. To surprise Avery, to support Lucia, or measure up to Zyl, to understand Otto a little better, or laugh with Avery and Marcel and Gilah and Elliot. There were others, so many others that had showed him kindness, and for those people, he wished to be the best version of himself, and as he sat in his log, with his eyes closed, listening to soft rainfall and the howling wind, one more of those people came into his mind.

Himself.

Mercury wanted to be the best version he could be for another reason he had forgotten. It was the name he had chosen when he came into this world so long ago, Mercury Rainfall Starlight. Thinking back on it, he smirked. It was a little cringey, he had to admit, but he still liked the ring it had to it, so he stuck with it.

To live up to Mercury had seemed like a tough task, an impossible goal back then, but right then, it didn't feel like that. To be Mercury Rainfall Starlight, all he had to do was just be... well, himself. It was his name, his choice. He didn't owe anything to his name, nor did his name owe him anything, it was just a bunch of letters in an assortment he liked, and if that is who he was, then that was enough.

The thought put another light smile on his face, lying down on his lips more gracefully than a feather. It was an overwhelming statement, not domineering or incredible, but it was who he was right now. Some guy in another world, looking to make the best of things. He had been dealt a tough hand a couple of times, and a good one some others. He had lost some friends, and helped some others.

Bonds were forged between him and those he met, strings of fate as the caretaker called them, and when he had found out, the concept felt a little strange to him. But Mercury had thought it over, and it honestly made him happy. To think that everyone he had spent time with kept a small connection to him was a good thought, and the fact that they would remember him sometimes was fulfilling.

Mercury caught his thoughts going astray and paused for a moment, shaking his head. He focused again, intent on listening to things other than just himself, shaking off his miscellaneous thoughts as he instead turned his attention towards his breath. In and out, slowly, steadily, and surely.

Like that he sat still for the rest of the night, simply taking in one breath of air after the other as he listened to the world around him.