266 CHAPTER 254

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Killing Thanos had given perspective.

Or rather seeing him kill Gamora, had given me perspective.

In his own sick corrupted way, he had truly loved Gamora.

His delirious self, his vile sense of duty, had given me understanding. Understanding of my own situation, my own peril, I had gained insight into what I truly wanted, through his foul act in the name of love and duty.

I didn't want justice. I wasn't a hero, not really. Sure, my actions had benefited others in a positive light, but only because it had benefited me, to begin with, one way or another.

I was a hero of interest.

True heroism was something beyond me.

I wasn't fighting this war, I wasn't fighting Knull for the sake of the universe, but for my sake, and what I sought to protect.

I was fighting to protect my perfect world.

My idea of it anyways.

A world with my daughters.

A world with my brothers.

A world with my friends.

That's what I truly wanted to protect.

Nothing else, nothing more.

Emily, Nat, Thor, Bucky, The Ancient One, and Sif. They were my whole world, for me the rest, was sadly expendable.

However, that didn't mean I wouldn't help others. It simply meant I had a very clear limit, a very clear line of what I would do for others outside that circle as long as it benefitted me.

I was a selfish man, and I was okay with that.

I wanted power, to protect my family, and exclusively my family.

I wanted the power to protect my ideal world.

I wanted the power to protect my dream, my vision of what I aspired to in a perfect life.

That was my purpose.

The purpose I wanted to give my weapon.

An instrument, a weapon, one to protect my dreams, my world, and my ideals.

Thanos had given that answer about myself, his actions had given me perspective about who I was.

Regardless of how stupid he had been, of how unforgivable his actions had been. He had truly cared for the universe as a whole, I could vouch for that as much as it sickened me.

I knew his love for the universe to be true, I had read his mind as I insulted him about the flaws of his idiotic plan, and within his shattered excuse of a mind, I could see nothing but concern for the future of everyone if things continued the way they were going.

Worry for the future of worlds he had never seen, for the future of people that hated him. Feeling it was his duty to save them all, no matter the cost. Because no one else would.

His goal was noble, but his methods to achieve it, were not.

His psychotic sense of duty to the universe had made me understand a lot of things.

I would've never made the sacrifices he was willing to make.

Never.

For me, my whole universe was comprised of six people.

Only for those six, I would give my all, only for those six I would be a hero, only for those six I would give my life without hesitation, and even then, I was selfish.

I cared about Thor, Bucky, The Ancient One, and Sif a lot, I loved them, they were my family in a universe where I had none.

But even then, if push came to shove, my daughters were the only ones I would cross any line for, and I mean any.

The love I felt for them was unreal. Before everything started, before I came into this world, I never thought it possible to love someone more than life itself.

I don't even remember when I started to love them that way.

It just happened.

One day, I was my only priority, and the next I woke up to see my whole world had shifted, making them my center.

I wonder if all parents feel the same.

I guess it's how they say. We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.

How can I not love them? When I look into their eyes, what I see back is nothing but the purest love one can find in the whole universe.

In their eyes, there was no judgment, there was no doubt, but an image of me so grand, so inconceivably beautiful, that I can't help but want to be that, the man, the hero, the everything they think I am.

I would protect them.

I would do everything in my power to keep them safe, above anyone else. Without expecting anything in return.

I guess that's what true love is all about, the willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.

The point of all this being, that Thanos had helped me see what my real desire was.

In a way, his unforgivable actions had given me the perspective I needed. I had seen in his decisions lines that I would never cross, and lines that if I had to, I would.

Realizing that I hated him not because of the lives he had taken, but because of the lives he had given to his daughters, ones he claimed to love, for his resolve to kill them, if that brought him closer to his goal.

Seeing the parallels between us made me understand myself.

I wanted the power to keep those who I loved safe, to offer them a life they could truly live. To offer them peace, to offer them more than this wretched reality had given them.

That was my desire, a simple one, but the one that pushed me forward.

Everything else, especially that which went against what I held dear, I wanted to negate, to reject.

"I suppose I have my intent," I smiled, in my right hand holding the Infinity Stones that hovered around my open palm creating a circular pattern of multicolored lights. Thinking, it was time to give the stones a new purpose, one beyond the limits of their respective realms.