The Hydra Within
Aiden's identity as a Hydra elite was irrefutable.
The quintessential example was how, just an hour ago, Aiden had claimed three lives, real and breathing, with no more thought than swatting a fly. And yet, an hour later, he could sit down to a meal with Nicole in a restaurant as if nothing had happened.
Forget feeling queasy; there wasn't even a trace of complex emotion in him. This was the demeanor of a cold killing machine.
Aiden was acutely aware of this conditioning, ingrained in him over the years. He didn't want to continue being this cold machine; he longed for the simplicity and goodness that once resided in his heart. But apparently, that was easier said than done.
"Doesn't suit your taste?" Aiden speared a piece of steak and chewed thoughtfully. The elegant restaurant was filled with the sound of piano accompaniment. The man in the suit at the grand piano was crafting a beautiful sonata, yet clearly unable to compose the serenity Nicole sought within.
"I... just feel like the entire world has changed. It's a bit overwhelming," Nicole shared her true feelings after a moment's thought. She then rummaged through her purse and pulled out two cell phones.
"The numbers are saved, and, um, the money you gave me is safe as well," she said, placing one phone in front of Aiden. This made her feel odd, as if she was being kept by Aiden.
"Your next task is to find a quiet place in New York City. It doesn't need to be luxurious, just tranquil enough to be our home," Aiden said, making Nicole feel even stranger, as if confirming her inner suspicions.
"I won't be contacting you for the next week. I have some very important matters to attend to," Aiden said seriously, looking into Nicole's eyes. "You can handle it. I know you're a strong woman."
Nicole remained silent for a long while before nodding.
Aiden sighed, feeling as if they were both deluding themselves. "You have my promise that once I truly see your strength, I'll begin your transformation."
"You want to be strong, and that's commendable. But Nicole, true strength isn't about your appearance or your muscles. It's about your heart. I don't want to see a mighty lioness with a fragile soul in the future. Let me teach you a method," Aiden set aside his utensils, leaned forward on the table, and locked eyes with Nicole. "You have a painful past, experiences most people can't even fathom. You might think it's God being unfair to you, but I see it differently."
"Memories are a marvelous thing, like a perfect carnival with colorful lights and delicious ice cream. But they can also be terrible, like a dark, desolate prison cell with no light, no windows, no exit. Those mad faces and stories pressuring your mind are the very things you wish to forget. Yet they have nowhere to go; they cling to you, surrounding you," Aiden murmured softly. The music in the restaurant, meant to soothe, seemed to weigh heavier on Nicole's ears.
"Logic tells you to flee, to choose the brightly colored, sunny places. To try and forget that anxious, sorrowful prison. But you don't realize that it's those dark, damp places that break your heart, which truly open the door to a new beginning," Aiden said, unsure if his approach was correct. In a normal world, encouragement should come from focusing on the positive, but Aiden, coming from Hydra, had adopted the opposite method. He firmly believed in the techniques he learned within Hydra because he didn't intend to create a hopeful ordinary woman; he aimed to forge a dark, cold-blooded knight.
He saw Nicole's trembling hand and gently grasped it. Both their hands were cold, offering no comfort. Nicole instinctively shrank back, but upon realizing it was Aiden, she stopped resisting.
"Face that prison that broke you, that tortured you to the bone. Don't try to drive away the faces that scare you, the stories that pierce your heart. Accept them, embrace them, remember them deeply. Carry them on your shoulders, break out of that prison with them, and venture into the world. You'll find strength in your heart, and you won't hesitate or be lost," Aiden felt Nicole's grip tighten on his hand, her slender fingers turning white with the pressure.
It was evident that Aiden's "talk therapy" now was entirely different from the first time he tried to dissuade Nicole from suicidal thoughts.
Nicole had slowly changed after her initial suicidal period. Aiden's words were guiding her from one extreme to another.
"Face your deepest fears, the most painful memories in your heart. Let them help you, tell you why you continue to live, what kind of person you should become," Aiden continued softly, his gentle voice hammering into Nicole's heart like nails.
Nicole's mind flashed back to her father opening his eyes for the first time after the accident, comforting her with a kind smile. She could never have imagined that this image, which should have brought her peace, now seemed to take on a different style, almost blinding.
Nicole's initial desire to be strong was slowly transforming.
"Give us each a bit more time. You've done your task well. When I knocked on the door, I didn't see a pitiful creature to be pitied but a woman dressed elegantly, exuding nobility," Aiden released her hand, struggling to free his own from her tight grasp. "Next time we meet, I look forward to seeing the look in your eyes. I await and yearn to see the emotions I desire."
Aiden stood and, as he passed Nicole, ruffled her hair and gave a soft kiss to her smooth blonde locks.
He left the restaurant with a newfound sense of amusement. Changing the ingrained values of a mature individual is difficult, but for someone whose life has been shattered and spirit broken, remolding is not impossible.
No matter how many lies Aiden may have told, at least one thing was certain: he was looking forward to the emotions in Nicole's eyes in a week.
"It seems I can never go back to being that young man with a pure and beautiful heart," Aiden muttered to himself.
Words can be frivolous, thoughts can be fanciful, but actions are the truest reflection. Aiden had intended to slowly change his nature as a cold machine, but now, every action contradicted his thoughts.
Even his act of saving Nicole might have started with good intentions, but it had evolved into recruiting a helper, a loyal subordinate.
Clearly, Aiden, long since merged with the "Hydra elite" and "Winter Soldier reserve" roles, still had a long way to go.
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