TRYING TO BE NORMAL
Life without work is quite fulfilling. You can just do whatever you want: eating, drinking, sleeping, reading, listening to music yet making one feel worthless when too much freedom is given.
However, fulfillment began to turn to boredom, then eventually began to turn into resentment to oneself and then might turn to depression. And the scorching hot summer's weather is not helping either to ease the agitation and mixed feelings one could feel.
For others, this might not be the case, however, not all people are the same. According to the sayings, 'Everyone is unique in their own ways.'
Some people would have rather enjoyed vacation days than sulk in the house. Others would have gone abroad visiting their friends or loved ones. Others would take time to have a get-together with their siblings or other half. This is how 'normal' people do things in their lives especially when breaks are given. However, Kenny perceived the world as somewhat difficult to fathom. She once dreads for God to give her long breaks, she got it. And now, she's no longer contented with it. She's thinking whether she's even on the same page as the others or not. She didn't quite enjoy her 'stay'-cation. Plus, her family is not like the others. None of her 'friends' seemed to bother looking for her except for Martha, who's pestering her all the time (or so she thought).
The day was just the same for her. She's getting bored doing nothing and doing something. She's been like this for over a year and a half since she resigned from her dreadful work. Doing all the chores was all hers to do. However, she still gets bored and lazy even when she always relied on her planner/to-do-lists for efficiency with only 2% success rate of accomplishment.
Yes, she tried looking for jobs, but to no avail.
Kenny hated visiting social media unlike before when she was still young. She used to love going all fours, taking all the time in the world just to surf the net however she wants to, and whatever ideas she could think of, even getting into fights with her siblings when disturbed. But as of the current situation she's in, it won't do her no good. That, she realized after turning 23, social media will eventually feed your insecurities.
It was then a long time since she opened her phone apps aside from the reading apps. Kenny opened Facebook and Messenger to check on some things. There, many images began to pop-up, notifications show a hundred plus notifs, over sixty messages, and twenty-plus friend requests. When she was young, she used to just add everyone who sent requests even if it's a stranger or not. She would excitedly reply messages, and comments, even posting her pretty pics. However, she never was the same. She has grown up on things like this. She then has since become realistic in how she perceives life.
She went to her study table and busily went over her messages. Scrolling down, she saw a familiar name that triggers her already overwhelmed feelings and emotions. Her heart's pounding badly. Her stomach's churning. Watching K-dramas, reading Manhua comics, and reading Chinese novels should have been prohibited. It incites emotions that she's been trying to shut.
Visiting social media never do her any good as it causes her to feel uncomfortable. Not only increases the chances of getting envious to the happy and successful FB posts of her friends but also adds the number of insecurities she already has. She has to deal with these emotions for a week or so!
Kenny decided not to read the message and 'ignore' it, sending it to the message request folder. Although curious about what is inside the message, she made up her mind that its best not to go back to the past. It was already difficult for her to get out of the pain and move forward. Her well-being is far more important for her this time.
Now trying to cool down, she looked over the News Feed section and scroll downwards for updates. Though her heart's still pounding, her mind's unfocused, she tried her best to act normal. No one knows what is in her mind and what's she been through, not even her best friend.
The following day, Joshua woke up with a hung-over. He was never the hard drinker, only that, he was not in the mood last night. He never knew how to brush off matters especially when 'matters' are not fully addressed well or when he's unable to justify things. Yesterday's 'matter' was because of that woman. Jeez! His shoes were expensive. But it's not like he can't afford another one. Maybe it was just her way of conversing with him that made him feel terrible. He looked down to see whether he was able to change his clothes but realized that he's still wearing what he wore last night. What he remembered before he went home was when he vomited on his mom's flower pots.
His reverie was put on hold when he heard a knocking on the door. 'Ugh!' and he went to open the door.
"What is it, Ma?" he said in an irritated tone, scratching his head while feeling the ache in his head.
"You returned quite late last night. What was the matter, 'nak?" his mother was worried sick from waiting for him, only to see him drunk. "You don't drink that much, you know. I know you. So what's the problem this time?"
Going back to his bed, he sat down and told his mom about what transpired yesterday at the mall, resulting in him to get wasted. He was seriously telling her about it, like a child complaining to his mom. His mom chuckled. "Son, that was petty of you."
"What?" unbelievable of her!
"I said, that was just of little importance just for a shoe!" His mom, still chuckling, trying to make him understand. "Just try letting it go. Let Manang Dulce clean it. It'll be good as new." This mom of his is so understanding...to others.
"I was the one being wronged here." Still trying to make his way.
In a serious tone, his mother said, "Joshua, you're already 25. Stop that. Maybe I have spoiled you too much." She continued, "You even got drunk just because of that. You are not being manly."
He was unable to defend more of his side because his mom has a point. Maybe he's just getting all worked up just of a small thing. There's nothing he could do anymore but to let it go. But in his mind, he's cursing the girl 'damn you!'.
The girl she was referring to, sneezed three times and felt chills running through her back.