CH 09|| The answer I needed

All through the night I wasn't asleep, I just couldn't close an eyelid. I wasn't feeling secure at all and I was thinking of how to sum up just enough cash to pay off the huge debt.

At around 5pm, sleep came hovering around but I beat it as I took a book from Chris' table to read.

The cover of the page was enticing. A blonde with closed eyes, tears falling down her face and torn clothes that only covered her waist down as she used her arms to wrap around her bare chest, stood in front of the cover page. Her background had dark painted all over with red streaks falling in uneven lines down the black background.

I didn't even wait to check what the book title was. On a random opening, something slipped out of one of the pages onto the floor since I sat at the edge of the bed.

A normal sized picture laid face down on the spot. I bent over towards the picture, picking it up.

My eyes brightened when I saw the image in the picture. She was young and beautiful.

I recognized her immediately. She was Amarachi - Chris' girlfriend. Maybe this picture was taken a few years back because she looks a lot younger than when I last saw her, probably 18 years old or so.

I sat, admiring her picture so much. Does Chris love her so much? It could be.

" Just wait a little more, Chris is coming. Don't worry I won't steal him away from you, he's all yours " I whispered to the girl in the photo.

Sounds of movement came from the couch, making me look up at where Chris laid. He turned over, now laying on his stomach facing the floor as his left arm was folded under him but his right hung slackly by his side towards the ground.

I thank God he wasn't a snorer or night drawler.

I put the picture back to its place and continued reading until 6 o'clock in the morning.

When I heard sounds outside the door, I assumed the maids were out to work. I closed the book, returning it to its place at the table.

I brushed and took a hot bath before I left the room tidied trying as much as possible not to wake Chris up.

I was right, the maids were working and I really wanted to help them out since I was too bored.

My legs just took me to the kitchen where I saw the chief cook ordering some other few cooks around in the high class kitchen.

"All these for just a family, huh " I thought.

" Good morning young ma'am " they all chorused.

" Good morning all, I'm pleased to meet you " I returned their greeting trying to hide my quiver.

The chief cook showed me around the kitchen which soon enough, I persuaded her to let me cook the breakfast.

With the help of other chefs, I prepared all the breakfasts for that day, which the chef said was tasty.

Because I was shy, I told the chief chef to lie all because of me.

Parents-in-law found their way into the dinning where they caught me setting the table with some maids.

They smiled as they hugged me passionately - a good morning. Even after breakfast was set, Chris didn't show up.

" Eddy darling, do you perhaps know if Chris is coming for breakfast? " she asked.

Just as I was about to explode for loss of words, Chris walked in, taking a seat next to me.

" sorry I'm late " he sat, covering his laps with a large white cloth.

When they ate the food, everyone including Chris shifted on his seat.

Mother-in-law sat savouring the food.

" Mmm what delicious food. Honey please pass me the sausage " she said, waiting for her husband to pass the sausage.

" Thank you. Chef Nina, who cooked these, I mean why is the food tasting so different today? " she said while getting the sausage from father-in-law.

"Oh madam, it's because we made it special for an extra special person or let me say new young mistress, " said the chief cook who stood close to her.

I felt covered and relieved that my name wasn't mentioned for anything.

Chris didn't even look at me throughout breakfast and I was feeling free for the first time.

In a few minutes time, he finished eating his portion, dabbing his mouth clean. Without a waste of time, Chris stood up and left without a single word.

There was an awkward silence, making me feel really uneasy. I didn't lift my eyes off my plate due to the fact that I was scared.

I lost my appetite. I forced myself up, thanking his parents for the food. They smiled at me and nodded, especially his mom. I left without uttering a single word after.

Chris' father, Mr Charles called me to his study immediately after breakfast. I was pondering on what he was going to say to me.

I was extremely afraid of him so treated him with courtesy.

He took a seat in a comfortable sunlit area where I supposed it was his reading or working table because there were books and a laptop on the table where he sat.

On his table the picture in the frame that stood facing sideways attracted me.

It was a picture of his family: he, his wife and Chris. Chris looked a lot younger there. His mom was still looking the same, still beautiful and gracious as always.

He wore his spectacles and offered me a sit on the opposite side of the table.

"Please sit yourself down "

I irresolutely sat.

He leaned back and then forward in his swivel chair.

I tried controlling my emotions in front of him so he wouldn't consider me as being weak.

"Are you scared? " he popped open the question.

"Me? Oh me. No I'm not " I almost quivered.

He leaned back as his chair made a small squeak.

"But you act and sound like you do. Okay why are your hands tucked in between your laps like you're shivering? " he said, trying to put on a smile that didn't really much suit his face.

How did he know I was tucking my hand between my laps.

"Okay back to business! " he said, dropping his smile and carrying on a more serious look.

"Chris has been acting weird all of a sudden ever since his marriage to you"

So is his attitude to me a different one?

"I've always known Chris as a really gentle young man but since he got married to you, things became different " He paused then continued

"I'm not blaming you, don't get me wrong. I just want you to know about it "

"The reason we made you marry to him is because we are trying to keep someone away from him for good"

"Maybe Chris has not told you about this, has he?" He asked

"He hasn't," I replied, staring at his table.

"Hm. Her name is Amarachi" his lips curved downwards.

My eyes went searching and my heart skipped on the sound of Chris' girlfriend's name.

Why would they want to separate Chris from his love? I mean from what I've seen, Chris loves her.

"She is beautiful, yes, she has all the body features a young man would want but she lacks one thing - inner beauty. " He continued

Inner beauty? Well I would agree with him. With how she spoke to me that day, I'm not wrong if I agree.

"I don't know what she did to my son that made him hold onto her like a leech " he said, sounding angry.

"It could be love" I replied

" Love? I don't think so. I know what love is compared to him or even you. You are still young. That, my dear is called an infatuation not love"

"I know how many times she has hurt him but he still keeps crawling back to her" he said, removing his spectacles, placing it on the table.

Getting more serious he asked: "Are you happy with this marriage? " he squinted towards me as if trying to examine my expression while he waited for a reply.

I was at loss for words, totally dumbfounded.

" uh.." I said then sighed

" You see, I knew it " he leaned back on his chair, looking a bit disappointed.

"No no no.. It's not that way.. It's just.. It's just I can't explain it. I just am not ready for all this yet"

"it's just too complicated for me now, I don't know of the future..I'm hoping it won't be like this forever"

"What if it remains this way forever?" he stares deeply at me.

I shifted uneasily on my seat.

"Nothing remains permanent sir.. especially something bad. If you are thinking so much about your son, it may only raise blood pressure higher than normal which won't be good"

I watched him stare intently at me but I was looking for words to skip the question.

"You know of hypertension right? Your son might be going through a rough time but he certainly wouldn't like to see his father sick. You are a healthy man and your wife loves you, I want you to stay that way " I said, directly looking at him but still trying to avoid the question.

He looked down and up again, saying : "I hope I made the right decision for my son"

I heaved a sigh of relief because he didn't ask me more.

"He never once disobeyed us apart from small silly things, but now I feel that I'm doing it all wrong"

My mouth opened slightly but the words would not just come out.

I wasn't sure if I even had the right to speak after my plan for a divorce.

"I know why I chose you for him. You are young, educated, smart, self-assured and most of all you are uniquely beautiful, both internally and externally"

On the hearing of those words, I felt blood rushing through my head like it was gonna blow.

This conversation to me was more like a father - daughter one.

"But I don't have or see those qualities you are talking about," I said, speaking the truth because I don't usually see what's so special about me.

He wore his spectacles back on that laid on the table in front of him and leaned back with that look I fear most, leaving me uneasy on my seat.

"Are you trying to say I'm lying?" he asked, his intonation got serious and his eyebrows furrowed

There was nothing to be upset about if you ask me.

"No no, that's not what I'm saying please" I pleaded.

His eyes studied me then lessened.

"You don't see those qualities because you don't like yourself. You see yourself through a distorted mirror but everyone else sees you in a different way"

Maybe he is right, I really don't like myself.

"When we first met at your father's house, I was amazed at the sight of you. And when you confidently spoke to me, I could see the love for your family in your eyes. After we left on our second meeting, my wife couldn't stop talking about you, she was excited." he explained, intersecting his fingers as he moved slightly on his swivel.

I didn't dare look at him in the eye, I didn't want to nettle him.

"Eddy" he called out in his low pitched tone.

I raised my head to his call.

"We have so much expectations from you for our son, for this marriage. This is a fight for you as his wife to fight. Fight for him Eddy and you will know what good of a man Chris is. Fight to win his heart. Fulfill all his desires as a woman would to her beloved husband"

His last words echoed through my ears. I barely know Chris, not to talk about fulfilling his desires.

"..and you will see that he will forget all about Amarachi" he continued

The conversation ended with: "Call me father for convenience."

I walked my way out of the study as I shut the door behind me.

Mother-in-law saw me from a distance but I didn't see her not until I heard her call me.

"Why are you looking so sad darling?" she asked as she walked up to me.

"Tell me" she spoke calmly but lovingly as she touched my cheek then rolled down to my chin, pulling my face up.

I couldn't control myself so I let myself cry as she hugged me.

"What is it dear?" she whispered softly.

"I can't take it anymore " I unintentionally said, my voice shook

She released me from the hug, looking worried.

"Take what anymore? Has Chris done anything to you or have..."

"No he hasn't. I am just too scared to really..to really... " I couldn't say

"To really what?" she asked, taking me with her to the love seat where I sat, then she sat beside me.

"I'm not fully prepared to carry on the duties of a wife." I said

"You don't have to be prepared, nature will prepare you. So is that what made you cry?" she smiled

"The thing is I'm young and I'm still going to school far away from here. How is it even possible?"

Dammit, why did I even say that. Who knows what she will do.

"It is dear. Don't let the shadow of you being young overshadow you. You are not as small as you think you are." She encouraged, pressing onto my hands a bit.

"You are you and it's you we like and you we want. You are a woman, not a girl anymore, it's obvious. The way you speak tells more of you not your outward appearance" she said, cleaning my tears.

I nodded.

"Tomorrow we will be going somewhere for relaxation, I want you to prepare ahead. It's gonna be a long day" she told me, putting me to my feet.

We had a friendly chat as we sat to talk about many things I lost count of. She is a really sweet woman.

---

The next day she took me to the spa where I saw things I've never seen in my life, only on TV.

I loved the cucumber on my eyes and the facial mask for exfoliation. It's just so funny how she still goes to the spa.

I came out of the spa admiring my body. Though waxing hurts, I love my legs now with no hairs.

Now I get it.. I get why they got me married to Chris.

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