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Sitting in Alec's office, the alarm still ringing in her ears, Izzy felt sick.

Not sick in the sense that she had gotten used to, but in the sense that she was scared out of her mind. She sat in one of the uncomfortable high-backed chairs that faced Alec's desk and wrapped her arms around her, holding herself tightly. The squeezing sensation was grounding, keeping her from getting up and running away. Clary was sitting next to her, though why she would want to be so close to Izzy after Izzy almost let her die was a mystery. The red head was rubbing soothing circles across Izzy's back, but the touch had faded to the background as Izzy tried to count the seconds between her breaths.

She could hear Jace and Alec talking quietly amongst themselves, their voices low so that Izzy could not hear them. It wasn't like she could use a rune to eavesdrop on them either, the black tattoos on her body mocking her as she knew that using them would only cause her extreme fatigue. She didn't need any of those things to know that Jace and Alec were talking about her, though. Too much had happened that night for them not to.

Izzy hated being the topic of conversation, mostly because she hated being left out. If they had something to say, they could say it to her face. She wasn't a prisoner. She wasn't a monster.

Was she?

Footsteps came closer and the office door swung shut. Jace was gone but Alec was at his desk now, sitting down and folding his hands primly on top of the wood. He gave Clary a look, and with a parting pat, the red head left the office. Once more, Izzy found herself face to face with her overly protective brother.

"Alec, I'm f - "

"If you tell me you're fine, I'm going to put you on suspension."

Izzy shut her mouth, though not because she wanted to. Alec looked completely serious about the suspension.

"We think it was a false alarm. Probably residual demon energy that had latched onto you and Jace and Clary. Usually that kind of thing is unheard of, but from what Jace told me, these new demons are unconventional to say the least. That's the story that's going in my report...unless you have something you want to share."

Izzy nodded mutely, her mouth feeling dry and scratchy. She wanted to say something, wanted to tell her brother I think it was me but the words didn't quite fit. She couldn't make her mouth cooperate, so many years of self-preservation forcing her silence.

Alec, however, was incredibly intuitive, especially when it came to Izzy. His eyes narrowed, taking in every facet of her tormented expression.

"Nothing you say could ever change the way I see you. I just want to help, Iz. Let me help," Alec said, and it hurt her how much he seemed to hurt. How could Alec think he was anything but the best brother any girl could ever ask for? The fact that Izzy's behavior caused him question that made her heart hurt even worse.

"I know that," Izzy said, her voice thick with emotion and also all the things she so desperate wanted to say. They were right there at the tip of her tongue, if only she could... "I'm just scared of what it means."

"Of what what means?" Alec asked, oh so gently.

"What's happening to me," Izzy replied, her voice small. She hadn't felt this helpless since she was a child, and even then she learned to shove all her insecurities down until she didn't feel them anymore. "I think I'm the one who set off the alert."

Saying it was liberating. One crack in her heart and rest of the fissures were opening. Tears sprung in her eyes, her insecurities rose like bile, and all at once she felt her fear and her sadness overwhelm her. Alec was there to catch her when she fell forward, let her fall into him and cry her eyes out. She sobbed and he held her close, his arms strong and secure around her, the only thing that made her feel like everything might be alright so long as he was there to help her stand through it.

"Izzy," Alec sighed as she pulled back, wiping the mascara-streaked tear tracks from her cheeks. "Only a demonic presence can set off the alarm."

"I made a seraph blade glow red," she whispered, ignoring the way Alec's eyebrows nearly shot off his forehead. She was only grateful that he hadn't pulled away. The soothing track of his thumbs across her cheekbones may have stopped, but he hadn't pulled away. Yet. "My necklace glows red all the time now, so I stopped wearing it. My staff won't obey me. My runes won't work. They burn whenever I try to use them, and that's if they don't knock me out first. It's why I couldn't heal Clary."

"Oh Iz," Alec said, his voice heavy and sad, like he was mourning with her. He still hadn't pulled away, but he was moving. He straightened up so that they were facing each other, no longer clinging on for dear life though he had moved his hands to hold hers in her lap. His eyes were gentle, no judgement to be found.

"I think I'm sick," Izzy continued, unable to stop the confessions now that she'd opened the floodgates. "I've been physically sick with something for weeks now, and I thought I would get over it, but what if I can't? What if it's changing me?"

Alec didn't have an answer to that. All he could do was hold onto her for as long as she needed. Izzy appreciated that he hadn't immediately jumped into ways to fix her. As much as Izzy knew that something was incredibly wrong, she didn't like to think she was broken.

"I'll be honest, I have no idea what any of this means," Alec said after a while, when Izzy had started mellow and every other breath wasn't a sob.

"That makes two of us," Izzy huffed a laugh, grateful when Alec laughed along.

"Have you thought about talking to Magnus? He's been around for a lot longer than we have. Maybe he can figure out something we can't," Alec suggested, and as much as Izzy wanted to tease him about how every solution he had these days revolved around his magical boyfriend, she had to admit that Alec made a good point. "Who knows, maybe you've been cursed by a warlock."

Alec was trying to lighten the mood, and it was working.

Izzy smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. "You're right. Thank you, big brother."

Yes, Magnus was infinitely resourceful and wise. He was bound to know something. And if it was a curse, then he could easily reverse it. Life would go back to normal and everything would be okay.

... _ ...

The next morning saw Izzy knocking on Magnus' door.

"Ah, Isabelle, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Magnus greeted, his smile serene as embraced her. He smelled like sandalwood, spice, and Alec. It was a combination that put Izzy at ease, and she practically dissolved into Magnus' arms.

"Alec thought it might be a good idea if I talked to you about what's been happening to me lately."

"Yes, he may have mentioned something about that," Magnus hummed, steering them into his living room.

All the furniture in Magnus' apartment was lavish but extremely comfortable. It was a combination so rare that it must have taken decades to cull the collection Magnus possessed. Izzy let herself sink into the sofa, enjoying the softness that the Institute was so devoid of. That was another strange, yet harmless quirk about her now. The hard edges and planes of the Institute never used to bother her before, but now she found them unbearable.

While Izzy luxuriated, Magnus waved his hands around and summoned them a tray of tea. He handed one cup over to Izzy. "How do you take your tea, my dear? Cream? Sugar?"

"Cream, thank you," Izzy said politely, holding onto the cup as it was warm and her hands were cold but still disgustingly clammy.

Magnus poured whiskey into his own tea. Izzy bit back a laugh. She should have figured.

One sip from her cup had Izzy gagging and spluttering.

"What did you put in this?" Izzy demanded, trying to remove the foul taste of something that was most definitely spoiled from her tongue. She was not particularly nauseous before, but she was now.

"Cream...just as you had asked," Magnus replied, alarmed at Izzy's response.

"Was it spoiled?"

"I assure you that I magicked that cream fresh from a quaint little dairy farm in the French countryside," Magnus said, and he sniffed the container to double check. His nose did not wrinkle with distaste, nor did the cream itself look particularly bad, but it sure as hell tasted vile. Magnus furrowed his brow, crossed his legs, and leaned towards Isabelle with new intent. "What is it exactly that has been troubling you?"

Izzy waited until she was sure she was not going to hurl before she answered. "Strange things have been happening for a few weeks now. First, I got sick, like this, and it really hasn't gone away, but it's getting more tolerable. What is getting worse is the other stuff."

"What other stuff?"

"I can't use my runes. Or my whip. My necklace glows red around me even when there aren't demons. Seraph blades glow red at my touch. Oh, and last night I set off the alarm at the Institute."

"Your brother told me that was due to residual demonic energy."

"Come on, I don't even think even Alec really believes that one."

Izzy didn't meant to sound so short, but her stomach was upset, and with the stomach problems came the headaches, and she was really looking forward to a pain-free day. If Magnus was offended, he didn't say anything. He simply shrugged and reclined further in his seat, but his expression had changed. He looked less carefree, more studious, and his eyes kept lingering to her abdomen. "Tell me more about this illness."

Out of all the things he could have asked about, the illness was not it. She expected him to grill her about glowing red seraph blades or ask her if she had a demon growing in her chest.

"It's, uh, nasty I guess? I feel terrible all the time, like I could sleep for days. My back hurts, my head hurts, everything hurts. It's like the Institute beds are made of bricks and it's so hard to get comfortable so I sleep terribly. And then when I wake up it's like everything I've eaten the day before just doesn't agree with me anymore and I have to get rid of it or I'll explode."

"I see. And how long has this been going on?"

Izzy shrugged, trying to pick the days apart. "I don't know, a few weeks?"

Magnus' lips had begun to quirk upwards, like he was privy to a joke Izzy wasn't. "And when you're not sick, any cravings?"

This time, Izzy was offended.

"Like I told Clary, no. I'm not back to doing that. Just because I'm sick does not mean I'm out searching for some vampire to suck me dry."

"Of course not," Magnus assured, aware of his misstep. "We all know how hard you struggled with your Yin Fen addiction. I meant cravings for food, the ones that don't make you sick. Particularly strange combinations that may seem unappetizing to others."

"Maybe..." Izzy trailed off, remembering the way her mouth salivated at the fish served for dinner last night and how she had mixed it with her pudding when no one was watching. Her eyes narrowed at Magnus in suspicion. She may have been naive to a lot of things, but she had a feeling she knew where Magnus was leading her. "What are you getting at, Magnus?"

"Have you ever thought about taking a pregnancy test?"

Izzy was so shocked to hear it aloud, that she dropped her tea. Magnus tutted and cleaned the mess with a flick of his wrist.

"That's impossible," Izzy vehemently denied, shaking her head back and forth, not letting the idea take root. "No way. Not a chance."

"There's no shame in it, my dear," he continued, his tone light and soothing. It was the opposite of Izzy's internal screaming.

"I make it a point not to sleep with Shadowhunters for this exact reason. Only mundanes and Downworlders."

"Even the best of us can slip up, Isabelle," Magnus said, endlessly patient, and in that moment, oh so old. "I do not know your body, nor do I know your history. All I can do is put together a picture from the pieces I am given, and right now, you are the picture of a woman in her first trimester. I know it is probably not what you want to hear, nor what you expected, but at least entertain the idea."

Izzy did not want to entertain the idea. She did not want to think about being pregnant so young, at being a mother so young. She had things she wanted to do with her life, goals she still had yet to accomplish. She didn't know how to raise a child. The only role model she had growing up was her own mother, and despite all the woman had done to amend things in recent months, Maryse Lightwood was hardly winning Mother of the Year awards.

What would her peers think? What would her parents think? What would Jace, Clary, and Alec think? Would they support her or would they leave her behind. They were all young and in their prime fighting years. There were still battles to be won, bigger badder demons to slay. How could Izzy step away from her duty when her people needed her most?

No, she was not pregnant...

...but what if she was?

"Even if I was pregnant, and I'm not, then how would that explain all the other things that are going on with me?" Izzy challenged, clinging to that line of rationale to discredit Magnus' theory.

"That I am not so sure about," Magnus confessed, chewing on his bottom lip. "But if you did happen to be expecting, it is possible that the pregnancy could be interfering with your Angel-given abilities. Are you certain that you have a comprehensive list of sexual partners from the last few months, and that none of them could have caused this?"

"Certain," Izzy nodded firmly. Subconsciously her hands had come to rest on her abdomen, and she tore them away before they made a habit of it.

"Would you humor me in running through that list, just to be sure?" Magnus asked, his hands splayed in surrender. At least he knew he was on thin ice.

"I saw Meliorn once, and a few Seelies at the Hunters Moon," Izzy rattled off, adding a few more as she remembered them. Magnus, if he was thinking anything, kept his mouth shut. He waited patiently, sipping on his tea while Izzy's list came to a conclusion. "That's it, really. The only other person that I can think of is that one night stand I had in LA, but he was mundane."

"Ooo, where in LA?" Magnus asked, intrigued. "Lovely city. I have a distant relative there I've been meaning to check in on."

"At this club called Lux. Actually, I think he owned the place. Gave me a ton of free drinks. It was a pretty fun night." Izzy was about to go into the story of a dazed and drunk Jace making a fool of himself on the dance floor but was cut off by the sound of something splattering. She looked up to find that Magnus had tipped his tea cup, amber liquid sloshing onto the expensive carpet. He was staring at Izzy, his eyes as wide as the saucer he held. "Magnus, are you alright?"

"The man you met at Lux...what did he look like?" Magnus asked, his voice strangely choked. "Tall, handsome, British accent?"

"Yes..." Izzy confirmed, spooked now that Magnus had gone even paler. "Magnus, what is it? Do you know him?"

Magnus nodded, placing his tea down in favor of taking one of Izzy's hands in his own. She could feel him shaking. Why was he shaking? "I'm afraid that man was no mundane. That man was Lucifer Morningstar."