Chapter 6

Starlet stirred when Lucien picked her up from the car bridal style. She snuggled into his heat and slipped back into unconsciousness. She had woken up as the party was dying down and when her parents asked her to stay the night, she insisted on going home. She had washed her face and gotten into the car and then latter fallen asleep along the way. When they got home Lucien somehow didn't have the heart to wake her up hence, there he was, navigating a flight of stairs with the weight of his wife in his arms. Trying not to jostle her and when he got to the top shifting his hold on her with the gentleness and care he didn't know he possessed in an effort not to wake her or drop her.

When he got to her room, he placed her on top of the covers. He pulled one edge of the bedspread over her body. When he was satisfied he went to his room flexing the muscles he had just exerted the whole way from the car to her room. He reminded himself he needed to hit the gym more.

 Starlet woke up on top of rumpled bed covers. She remembered how she had cried and felt embarrassed. Then she remembered how her husband had comforted her and the embarrassment melted away to be replaced by something else. Optimism. Her husband would not have held her while she wet him with her tears and snot if he did not care for her. There was something tender he had for her and he had shown it to her when she needed him to. In her mind, she was sure it was love. He was just being stubborn not reading the emotion written in his heart for the principle of a stupid grudge that should have expired two years ago.

She would expose him to doses of her company and would hopefully acclimate to it. They would have the relationship to envy. Loving him would finally pay off. It would finally be worth that happy ever after that she'd always wanted.

 ***

 That afternoon Star went window shopping before lunch with her husband. He had a meeting that was running a little late. He told her to wait for him in the reception area but she got bored and sent him a text she would tour the mall opposite his office. They would eat lunch in a little café there.

She saw a jewellery store next to the café and decided to browse their wares while she waited for her husband. She looked at ring necklaces and then she came across something that mesmerized her.

It was a brooch shaped like a phoenix. It had its wings arched up and over its head almost touching in such a way that they almost made a circle. The metal on the brooch was made of gold. The body and wings were studded with dark red stones.

"What is the stone they used here?" Star asked. Tapping at the glass.

"The phoenix brooch has red garnet stones in it but there's a red diamond which is only available for a set." The jeweller replied cheerfully.

"A set?" Star asked curious not taking her eye away from the piece.

"Yes. The phoenix couple set had a pair of cufflinks and a tie pin for him, then for her, there's the lovely brooch like the one you're looking at dangle earrings."

"May I see it?" Star said interested.

When the jeweler brought them out from the back, Starlet was sure she was in love. The cufflinks were gold with the bird in the same arched pattern as the brooch but only the eyes had tiny red stones in them. The wings instead of jewels were textured in a way that they gave the idea that the metal was covered in tiny golden grains of sand. The same design was used on the phoenix on the tie clip. Starlet loved it.

She took out her debit card and handed it out to the man who was delighted to ring her up. The set came in two boxes; one for him and the other for her.

She hoped Lucien would love the cufflinks. That is; whenever she had the courage to give them to him. Whenever he would willingly take anything from her and not throw it in her face. She would wait for that day. However long it took her love for him would be strong enough. She would wait. This was one of the penalties for loving Lucien. Waiting for him to love her back. Buying trinkets and keeping them away hoping one day… One day she would give them to him and he would not sneer at her efforts.

Like he had done when she had gotten him gifts for his birthdays. He had glared at her when she wished him. He had ignored her when she had tried to give him the present she had brought for him. She had that gift in her room. The second birthday he had not been home and the gift she had left in his room. When he came back it had been swiftly discarded. She had that too still unwrapped like the first. On the third birthday, she had tenaciously brought him yet another gift. That too had ended up in the trash and was now in her room. Christmases had gone the same way.

She had spent every Valentine's day in her room unable to muster the strength to go out. The thought of going out to see happy couples while the thought of the state of her marriage danced in her mind.

"Hey," a voice suddenly said and Star was startled out of her thought. 

It was Lucien. He put his hands on her shoulders and examined her face "What's wrong?" He asked her and she shook her head.

"Nothing I just zoned out." Her voice was a thread of a whisper.

"Are you sick?" Lucien asked her his eyes running over her searchingly.

"No," Star said her voice stronger. "I'm fine. I am not sick."

"Okay," he surrendered but was eying her worriedly.

He took her hand and pulled her towards the café. Starlet let him. Her mind had immediately centred on the fact that her hand was in his. His hand was warm his grip was strong but not punishingly so. He guided her to an empty four-chair table and sat her down.

They ordered sandwiches and ate them in silence. Star didn't feel like talking like she normally did. She was just tired. She has had moments like this throughout their marriage. They got stronger and more draining every time. She just wasn't happy. She loved her husband but he hurt her. She may steel herself from the blows but the damage was there. It was like she was a bucket with a leak and sometimes all the good emotion was gone.

When they were done with lunch her husband kept shooting her worried glances and walked her to her car. She clicked on her seatbelt but could not drive. She just sat there staring at nothing. Lucien opened her door and leaned in to click off her seatbelt.

"I don't know what is wrong with you but you cannot drive in this state." He explained when she made a protesting sound. He took her keys from her hands. He manoeuvred her out of her car and closed the door. He locked the car, took her hand and walked her all the way to his office.

"No interruptions Jillian." He told his assistant on his way into his office.

He sat her on his couch and hunkered down in front of her.

"This is not like you," he said as he put his hand on her forehead. "You don't have a fever. You're scaring me, Star. Tell me what you need."

"I'm tired." Star croaked.

"Okay, okay," Lucien said mostly to himself as he straightened up to his full height.

"You need a nap. Lie down on the couch." He told her and took off his jacket as she complied. He covered her with the jacket and hunkered down again.

Star was just staring blankly ahead. She felt tired. Just plain exhausted.

"Close your eyes, Star," Lucien commanded softly and she obeyed.

She felt she would do anything if he asked her. She was emotionally drained which was odd to her.

Why am I so tired? She asked herself. Why am I feeling like this? Why am I feeling so weak? I am stronger than this. I should get up. Don't show weakness.

But she couldn't move she was exhausted. She was comfortable where she was. She breathed in and unintentionally took a sniff of her husband's jacket. His scent soothed her.

Within minutes her breathing changed and Lucien was sure she was asleep. He wanted to brush his hand into her hair but he resisted. He felt that this tenderness he was feeling toward her was the beginning of a deeper emotion he did not want to feel towards her. He settled his hands on his thighs. He couldn't resist so he ran his hand in her hair. Shifting it away from her face. 

She is beautiful, He observed with powerlessly.

He watched her for a minute and then got up and went to his desk. He worked until his workday was over. He made a call for his driver to pick up her car and bring them dinner in case she slept that long. He picked a book on his Kindle, settled himself on the couch opposite her and began reading.

 When Star opened her eyes the only light in the room came from the city outside the window and from Lucien's Kindle tablet. She stared at him marveling at the beauty of this man she had married. His dark eyes were so intense as he scanned the page of whatever he was reading. His mouth was pursed and below it was his hand supporting his frame as the elbow of that arm was on the armrest. She could see that one of his legs was crossed over the other and the arm with the hand holding the tablet was perched on it.

This beautiful man is my husband, she thought to herself. No one in this life loves him more than me.

She must have made a sound because he suddenly turned his attention to her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her.

"I'm fine." She told him as she sat up and his jacket fell off. She picked it up and laid it on the back of the couch.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" she asked him.

"You were tired." He said simply.

"How am I going to fall asleep when we get home?" she asked him.

"I didn't think about it." He said after a short pause.

He took a remote from the coffee table between them and pressed a button. The room was immediately flooded by lights.

There was food and her purse on the coffee table. Her stomach grumbled and she blushed.

"It's just about dinner time," Lucien told her as he took one carton and pushed the other her way.

She opened it. It looked like they were having fried prawn noodles for dinner. This was her favourite when she was feeling down and out. She looked at her husband.

Maybe he won't admit it to himself but she could see that he cared for her. Loving him wasn't fruitless. She needed to wait and one day he would love her back. She needed to be patient and not give up on him.

Star took the chopsticks and broke them out of their packet.

Sometimes loving someone means waiting for them. And she was going to wait for Lucien to love her back. No matter how long it took for him to come around. He was worth it. For this man, she could wait an eternity.

She worked some noodles into her mouth.

Keep waiting, Star. She thought to herself. He's going to hold your hand look into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you. Just wait for him. Keep loving him.