Chapter 67: Did I Cause This?

That Monday Qing Mei did not attend her classes but Su Ning did not find out until much later when her friend had stopped responding to her messages. Since Lin JinYan was about to graduate in a few weeks, Su Ning had also begun to think about which subject she would be specializing in in her final year. Because she decided on majoring in engineering, she will need to choose among math, chemistry or physics and be grouped with other students who chose the same specialty.

This means she will be in a different class from Song Yu who is going to an Art Academy, and Zhang Wei and Wang Lei who would be majoring in business management. In their junior year of senior high, Song Yu will be in the arts class and her other two buddies will be in the English class. Zhang Wei and Wang Lei technically can choose to specialize in politics; however, they prefer to spend their junior year in relative indolence. It wasn't as if they will inherit their parents' companies anyways being second sons and all.

Author's Note: In C Country, the class grouping in your final year of senior high is dependent on the major you choose in university. The school groups you with other students that have similar majors and you get to choose a subject specialization. Then from the start of the school year all the way to graduation you prepare for the gao kao which is the standardized university entrance examination. Your scores in the gao kao will determine which university and major you can eventually be admitted to. So first tier universities with a biology major will require higher scores than a third tier university of the same major. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

'Aiish...Next year will be a lot more studying for me," Su Ning wailed internally. In fact, she didn't particularly like any of the three subject choices but it was necessary in order to have a more comfortable life in the future. 'I'll get a job as a software engineer after university and get a stable income. I'll meet up with my friends on weekends. Maybe I'll even travel once or twice a year. Yeah! Let's just aim for that!' thought Su Ning as she cheered herself on. Plus, she didn't have a rich family like her fuerdai classmates so it's bu hao yi si to have this original body's parents to keep supporting her even after she becomes an adult. 

Author's Note: 'Fuerdaif' means rich second generation. 'Bu hao yi si' is used when someone feels embarrassed or is sorry for inconveniencing someone. (●´ω｀●)

'Hmm.. I'll definitely miss those 2 troublemakers when I get separated from them next year. We should go on a trip together this summer break!' she thought. Su Ning had been so engrossed with her future planning that she had forgotten to check-in on Qing Mei after the latter had failed to respond to her text in the morning.

.................

And so, Su Ning went to school as usual on Tuesday and during free period she began to chat with Zhang Wei and Wang Lei about a summer trip to Province Z. But to her surprise, the two brought up going to Jeju instead.

"NingNing was always playing with Gu YuChen and Lin JinYan that we weren't able to go on a trip together," Wang Lei dramatically lamented.

"…Don't be dramatic," said Su Ning while rolling her eyes.

"It's true! So come with us! My family has a beach house over there. We can stay for a week!" Zhang Wei excitedly interjected.

"Uhmm…An international trip huh. I'm not sure," Su Ning replied tentatively. 'I'll have to get a passport and I'm not sure I saved enough from tutoring for an international trip,' she mused.

Noticing Su Ning's hesitation, Wang Lei casually prodded, "Let's go, NingNing! Come with us! Zhang Wei will cover everything."

"Hmm…that's not too good," Su Ning answered with a slight frown on her face. 'I want a comfortable life but I feel like I shouldn't be sponging off of my friends. Plus, I am not even as close to them as I am to Gu YuChen and Lin JinYan."

"Aiyah! Don't think that way. Ah-Wei has too much money for his own good, anyways! It's fine," Wang Lei said grinning. 

"Yeah! I invited you so it's only right that I treat you! NingNing just needs to show up. It'll be fun!" Zhang Wei insisted. After a few seconds he added, "Our cousins will come too so you won't feel lonely that you're the only girl there."

"Uhmm. I'll think about it," answered Su Ning, still not fully convinced. She returned back to her seat beside Song Yu still sporting a pensive look on her face. 'Somehow I feel that if I get used to getting treated like this. It'll be easy for me to become a lifelong freeloader,' she thought, scrunching her beautiful face. She began to look through a couple of trigonometry questions but eventually gave up after finding it hard to concentrate.

Meanwhile, Song Yu who had been quietly reading his book glanced up at Su Ning and softly spoke, "Xiao Ning, you alright?"

"Ah?! En. Just thinking," she answered with a small smile.

"Do you want to go to Jeju?" he asked directly.

"En. But I can't afford it right now," Su Ning, who was initially surprised at Song Yu's accurate deduction, replied with a slight frown.

"Your parents are unable to pay for the trip?" he pried.

"Hmm, No. They..They can," she answered hesitantly.

"Just, I'd rather not ask them for help," she finally said.

"I see. Xiao Ning is very commendable. You're always working hard and trying to think through problems on your own," Song Yu said with a soft smile.

"Somehow I feel Xiao Ning really wants to be self-sufficient as soon as possible," he quietly pointed out. Su Ning, who was completely figured out by her schoolmate, hung her head low. 'Am I that obvious?' she wondered.

"You're only 16 you know. At this age isn't it alright to get help from others? After you become an adult it will be much harder to ask people. You'll have more societal pressures to conform to." (Song Yu)

"Ah." 'Have I been acting like my previous self? Refusing help from people? When I was at my workplace people wouldn't do me favors without anything in return. Was I unconsciously projecting those coworkers on these little buddies of mine?' Su Ning suddenly thought.

"You know Xiao Wei and Xiao Lei aren't expecting anything in return. They just want to hangout before we end up going our separate ways in the future." (Song Yu)

"I know.." she softly admitted.

"Aissh, Yu-ge you are seriously like the wise old man in those movies," Su Ning cajoled attempting to lighten up the mood.

"Xiao shazi," he called her affectionately, patting her head.

"Hehehe," she giggled whilst thinking of how Song Yu always has such a calming presence for her.

Author's Note: xiao shazi means little idiot or little fool. In this context, Song Yu is using it as a term of endearment. (･ิω･ิ)

"By the way, it might be good to let Lin JinYan know if you've plans to travel for summer break," Song Yu mentioned casually.

"Ung?" Su Ning uttered a soft sound in question. However, Song Yu simply looked at her meaningfully which rendered her thoroughly perplexed.

"Well, alright," she acceded after a few minutes. 'Lin JinYan and I currently live together so it's common courtesy to inform him I guess. Plus, he'll be leaving for the UK soon so he might want to spend more time together.'

.............

And so days passed as usual and it was only on Friday when Su Ning realized she hadn't heard from Qing Mei. Her friend was the type to text daily if only to send emoticons and random TeekTok videos. Thinking it was odd for Qing Mei to be so silent, Su Ning attempted to call her friend to check up on her. However, the call immediately went to voicemail. 

After texting several common acquaintances, Su Ning was told Qing Mei had not gone to the academy all week. This caused Su Ning to worry. Recalling that she had left Qing Mei and Lin JinYan to talk early Monday morning, she decided to ask the latter if he knew something about her friend's absences. 

That night, Su Ning went into Lin JinYan's room to find him casually reading a book on the bed. Plopping herself beside him, she asked in a slightly anxious voice, "JinYan-ge did Qing Mei mention anything on Monday? Her classmates said she hasn't come to school all week."

"That's quite curious," he answered without any inflection in his voice.

"Right?! It's so worrying." (Su Ning)

"Should I try to visit her home tomorrow?" (Su Ning)

"On a weekend?" (Lin JinYan)

"En. I'm worried." (Su Ning)

Noticing Lin JinYan's frown Su Ning asked her friend, "JinYan-ge, what's the matter?"

"Last weekend you went to visit your parents. I thought you could spend this weekend with me," he answered sullenly.

"Oh…I..It'll just be a short visit. I just want to make sure she's alright," Su Ning said attempting to pacify the young man.

"Mm? You should smile JinYan-ge you look more handsome that way," Su Ning chided, poking at Lin JinYan's cheek. Her action naturally caused his previously scowling lips to curl upward.

"Fine. Do you even know her address?" (Lin JinYan)

"….Ahhh. You're right. We usually saw each other at school or at the mall." (Su Ning)

"I can ask around for it. We can go on Sunday." (Lin JinYan)

"Really?!" (Su Ning)

"En. I'll do anything NingNing wants," Lin JinYan said affectionately.

"Yoh! Jinyan-ge is awesome! You and YuChen-ge treat me best," she happily cried, giving her friend a tight hug.

"Mmmm," he hummed, basking in Su Ning's familiar floral scent. 

"By the way, how did you like Qing Mei's present?" She asked after they had broken apart.

"Hmm?" (Lin JinYan)

"The socks?" (Su Ning)

"I didn't accept it." (Lin JinYan)

"What?!" (Su Ning)

"NingNing-ah did you know that Qing Mei was going to confess to me that day?" Lin JinYan asked, his expression somewhat sad.

"Huuuh?! No!! Qing Mei confessed to you?!" Su Ning asked, visibly surprised.

"En. She said the gift was a token of her feelings and that I should accept it," Lin JinYan calmly explained. "Since I don't harbor any romantic feelings for her, of course I couldn't accept it."

"Oh my god! I didn't know!" Su Ning exclaimed.

"I'm glad. I thought you were purposely setting me up with your friend since you've gotten tired of me," he said quietly, leaning his head on her shoulder.

Su Ning remained quiet for a few seconds to digest what she just learned then her eyes widened in sudden realization. Knowing that Qing Mei was an emotional person, it was quite possible she had become so heartbroken from Lin JinYan's rejection that she missed several days of school. 

'Perhaps….I..Did I cause this? I was so focused on helping her get close to Lin JinYan that I forgot to confirm her intentions. If I'd known she liked Lin JinYan I would've probably done things differently.' Su Ning thought guiltily. 

"NingNing?" Lin JinYan asked concernedly when he saw Su Ning wringing her fingers as she sat beside him.

"JinYan-ge! What to do?" she asked worriedly.

"What's wrong?" he repeated in a soothing manner.

"I think I made a mistake. I think…. I hurt my friend," Su Ning said her peach blossom eyes tearing up.