Fascination with my eyes

"How else can I respond? Should I look down at your camel carpet when you talk to me?" I said, feeling confused as waves of emotion rose from within me.

"Definitely not. Torment me more. Your eyes are like a double-edged sword. There is plenty of what I want in them." He answered, his voice barely a whisper to my ears.

"...but also plenty of what you don't want." I said, softy acknowledging his statement.

I thought of my own detachment to the multifaceted aspects of myself. If I could detach the ugly parts of myself away, I would. I could not blame him.

"Believe it or not, Lila, the parts which torment me are those which draw you to me the most. I don't want them, you're right. I desire more than just want- I need them like I do fresh air. It is a necessity. There is so much about you which intrigues me. I want to understand all of it." He said in a resolute voice.

"I don't understand why the fascination with my eyes. You scrutinize me too much." I said.

I would be lying to myself if I did not acknowledge that his very gaze too had affected me right from the first time our eyes met.

"I don't understand it myself, Lila. Maybe I'm too aroused. My emotions play havoc on me." He replied softly.

The conversation was off-tangent, and I changed the topic.

Without looking up, I said, "Maybe we can speak of something that I can understand?"

"Like what, Lila?" He asked, speaking with his regular voice now.

"The sea." I said.

It was the first thing which came to my mind.

"The sea?" He repeated.

He eyed me incredulously, not believing for a second that he heard me right.

I started babbling quickly about the sea because I was nervous. He had talked about the sea in my eyes, metaphorically. And here I was, talking about the sea in its physical form. My mind jump-started on this cue.

"I grew up in a small village in Thailand. It was by the sea. I had many happy memories there. I was the only child, so I played alone. Each incoming wave was my skipping rope. I would try to jump over its crest. It was great fun! Sometimes I played catch with it, running with its ebbing current and away from its incoming tide." I said.

I spoke very quickly that half the time I was not thinking about what I was saying.

"Do you go back to your home by the sea often?" He asked.

"I cannot go back to it. The village is no longer in existence. The village land has been reclaimed for development. Now only factories stand on what was once the sea. But I always feel a sense of belonging when I am at the coast, right here at the boulevard. It kind of reminds me of those days." I said, now feeling calmer and speaking slower.

He sighed a little.

"Development at nature's cost. You must miss your childhood home a lot." He said.

"I dream about going back to my village often. I visualize it more vividly than ever in my memory. In dreams everything is brighter, more beautiful, more engaging. Half of what I remember is probably made up." I said.

"It must have been a nice dream then." He said, in a soft voice.

"Yes, a fantasy world appears." I replied.