35 Confidential !

I also relieved my pleasant afternoon at the boulevard, by the sea, with my books, with the piano, with music, with that scribbled note. My eyes shone just thinking about my secret admirer.

"What are the loves of your life?" I asked, feeling bold enough to ask him a question.

"Clara. She was my ex-girlfriend. I told you about her yesterday. I loved her so much that I could not let go. My whole life crumbled when she left. I was devastated. I resorted to alcohol and drugs to kill the pain. It became an addiction. I lost friends. I lost a whole chunk of my life. People started avoiding me. I was in and out of rehab. It came to a point when I realized that I was all alone." He said.

He gestured at me with his hands, as if beckoning me.

"You see, Lila I travelled a lot those days. Never grown roots to any one place. Always left after the fun or challenge, whichever came first, was over. I was easily excited and easily bored. I never lived in the same place twice." He said.

He was pretty coherent when he spoke. He seemed more controlled than I ever saw him before.

"I meant the things you love, rather than the people you love. It's easier to love things, not people. They never get back at you. Only people do." I said.

He smiled knowingly then.

"Oh well, I misunderstood your question, but since I have your word that whatever I blurt out tonight is confidential, I might as well pour my soul out." He said.

I held his gaze gently, and so he continued talking.

"So, Lila, you want to know about things, eh? This giant of a piano there, although I am more of a furniture collector than a pianist. It costs a fortune, it's custom made." He said, pointing to the piano.

"Why not just learn how to play the piano? Surely then you will derive more joy from it?" I questioned.

"I am a collector of quality items, but I do not embody quality myself. Do you not already know that I am snobbish, rude and condescending?" He said.

"You don't have to be if you don't want to?" I asked.

He looked at me, as if he were considering it, but then he said, "With you, I find myself naturally talking like this. Please don't look at me like that." He said.

I looked down at my own palms then.

"It is this effect you have on me. It's through no fault of yours. I feel this fervent intensity of speech every time I face you but I don't mean to be rude. You provoke a loose screw in me somewhere. Please accept my sincere apologies." He said.

"I forgive you." I said, not looking up should I arouse him again.

"And I love the sea now, thanks to you." He carried on, winking at me.

I could not help a smile, because he was winking at me. Again I mirrored his emotions.