chapter fifteen.

Penelope Martinez Narrating:

I walk almost unsteadily, feeling my legs wobble, the wet ground of lean snow doesn't help much, I didn't want pictures taken at a moment of mine like this, I lifted my bag until my eyes watered dodging the flashes.

I got into the car, and now I could cry, since we were kids it was me, Samantha, Audrey and Francini. What was this absurdity?

One day we were these children, without worries, riding our bikes in the neighborhood, hair in the wind and we didn't care about anything else, it was as if

every moment, and even when we fell, we were able to wipe the dirt off our knees and keep smiling.

Then I questioned myself, why all this was happening, there was a hint of anger in my heart, I could see that I was red, looking at the paparazzi there were many flashbulbs going against the car windows.

I feel shattered. Impossible to agree that the world is colorful, I can't always be strong enough to resist, sometimes I prefer, I think I even need, to surrender to the pain, to sit and cry like a child who just woke up without his mother by his side to hug. Many call this weakness; I call it acceptance.

After crying, I put on my glasses, realized that I was alone in the car seat, took the wheel and drove. There were so many people near my house, reporters, it was hard to start the car and get through quickly, when I could get out I drove to my father's house.

— Hi honey, I didn't know you were back already.

My father opened the door, holding a book in one hand and a glass of Whiskey in the other, pretending not to have smelled it but I did.

— It's crazy outside, too. I needed to come back urgently, Francine was murdered Dad. - I spoke in a broken voice, with both hands on my head. — You and Mom got married, do the police suspect Audrey? None of this makes sense.

He opened his arms without saying anything and approached me, before hugging him, I could see that he looked as if he had cried.

I hugged him tightly, placing my chin on the curve of his shoulder, it felt warm, resting my hands on his warm shoulder, it was very cold outside and the tears were still there.

He pulled out of the hug and looked at me tensely. — First of all, let's go outside, I need to show you something. — He put the left hand that was holding the glass back, in a subtle but not discreet movement.

— Dad, I'm fine. — I said, taking off the brown overcoat I was wearing. - I mean, I've been sober for a year now, I feel... controlled with alcohol around.

— It's not just that, come on, I'll show you.

He walked around the room, put the glass on the table along with the divine comedy on the coffee table, we walked together to the garden when I saw it, a wooden swing among the pink flowers.

I wiped away my tears by going over there, I could smile. My father put his hand on my waist, with that familiar expression he always made of someone expecting a compliment.

— I did it myself. Remember what you used to say when you were a child? — He raised his right eyebrow, crossing his arms over his navy blue polo shirt.

I took a deep breath and, remembering, said it like when I was a little girl, accompanied by a little giggle.

— "When Nick and my mom get married we will live in a giant house and have a beautiful garden, and of course a wooden swing that my Nick will build. — My arms remain hanging at my sides. — I kept repeating this to everyone. I can't believe you remembered.

— Of course I remembered! — His hands reach into his front pants pocket.— Listen, I know it must be hurting, this sudden death of Francine. It hurts me too, I watched her grow up. -

He cast a sad look at the snow-covered garden, sat down on the swing, and I sat down beside him. Already shivering with cold, I regretted having left my overcoat in the living room.

But, I focused on him when he started talking, I pressed my lips together listening.

— I wanted you to know that your mother and I getting married was inconsequential, but... — He bowed his head. — I have to say Penelope, there was something about that night, and something I can't explain. — He threw his hands in the air. - I wish she would talk to me.

So it had been something involving feelings and not some crazy one-night stand in Las Vegas?

I almost went to the moon and back, my heart beat faster feeling a twinge of happiness, Nick and my mother is something I have wanted to happen since I was ten years old.

Although I have given it up since I was thirteen. But, a part of me has always wanted this, I took a deep breath trying to keep myself partial, even though I was exploding inside.

Dad, don't misunderstand, I'm not upset that they got married, I just found it in the middle of nowhere, I thought it was something caused by drinking. — I took his hand. — Now, between you and me, we know my mother, she is a fugitive from serious conversation. I am sure that this last minute trip to Colombia was to avoid meeting you.

— I know, do you think she felt the same way?— He leaned back against the swing and stretched his legs.

— I don't know, I haven't been able to talk to her or Abuelita since yesterday. — I twisted my mouth sideways. — You two need to talk. I just want you to understand that I'm big enough to understand if you don't stay together, Dad, I just don't want you to get hurt.

— That's your big fear, isn't it? — He squeezed his eyes shut. — Getting hurt again in love?

— Maybe. — I bowed my head, with my fingernails trying to remove my nail polish.

— Don't create this ice barrier around your heart. — He put his arms around mine on the swing and looked down at his own. — If it hurts, it's terrible.

— Precisely, so I should avoid it. — I pushed back the front of my hair, which was caught in a bad ponytail.

— It's part of life. You should go out more, fall in love again!

— Do you have a fever?— I mocked, sniffling with my nose, and kept touching his face to see if he had a fever as a joke. — Are you telling me to fall in love? Who are you and what have you done with my father?

He laughs softly. — I'm just saying that when all this madness is over, and they arrest the people behind all this. You should live more, travel more.

— Huuum! Well, I've already seen half the world. But not alone. — I wiped my face, lifted my head, looking at him. — Who knows how to travel like in 'Eat, Pray and Love.

— As long as you are happy, and enjoying your life.

Nick took my chin, I smiled and hugged him tight saying that I loved him, and that without a doubt he was the best father in the world.

Even though he joined the "Date Again" team. I thought of Taylor Jones. He turned out to be someone I could see myself loving again, me Steve Brown, who knows maybe a Théo Hoffmann, yes, if a Théo Hoffmann loved me he would never lie, bring or leave me.

Unfortunately all these guys were fictitious, they only existed in the wonderful books I read, at the moment I found myself in love, but they were all fictitious characters.

— Oh, and thanks for the tulip bulbs. — He said, pinching my nose, smiling.— It will look beautiful in the garden.

My lips drew together in a line. — What? But, I didn't send any seeds.

— Of course you did, they arrived last night. With your signature on the card. — His expression remained serious, Nick was not joking.— If you want, I'll show you.

When my father showed it to me I felt a chill in my stomach, that was not my signature, but it was my writing. I sat on the couch analyzing it, then it came to me.

That was my autograph, but not just any autograph, it was the signature I had given that woman at Samantha's wake.

— Dad, seriously, I didn't send anything, in fact, you are not the first person to say that. — I scratched my head. — There must be someone sending flowers to people using my name.

— What? — He hunched his shoulder. — Why would someone do that?

— I don't know, Dad. — I shook my head, with my hand on my chin. — But something tells me that I need to tell the police.

— We can go there if you want, we still have time before the wake.

I felt a cold in my stomach, wondering when I would stop having anxiety about this subject, and sighed not to freak out when we got in the car.

Maybe Sebastian was right, there really is someone after us.

...♡...