The more I know the less I understand

"You have been in a car crash." The words crashed down onto me with the weight of the world. There must have been a mistake, I can't have been in a car crash, I am a normal person, awful things don't happen to people like me. Do they? But wait that doesn't explain why I am in darkness. "Why can't I see?" I ask, it might not seem like the most important question but I need to know. "Well in the accident we think a glass bottle or glass of some kind smashed and went into your eyes" This information is really worrying me

"But you can fix it right?"

"Look I'm just going to tell you this straight because there is no way to break this down. There is no way to fix this because you have damaged your eyes beyond repair." If the first bit of information was hard it was nothing like the tsunami that hit me now, I can feel myself crumbling from the inside but before I let myself breakdown I tell myself that there is no point in crying because it is not going to get me anywhere but that does not mean everything is ok, and it's probably not going to be ok but I just have to get used to it.

A few weeks later and I am out of the hospital and back at home but I am not alone, mum is in rehab so I have a private nurse living with me. I hate it. I don't hate her but I hate being looked after like I can't do it myself but I suppose I can't. They say losing your sight enhances all your other senses. Well, that didn't happen. It just makes you pay more attention. We are already thinking about me going back to school. I am dreading it. My school decided to let me back as a charity case. Thanks, I guess. I am meeting up with mum for the first time to talk about mobility options. Not that she would be any help. I wonder what her reaction to me will be. Some how she got out with hardly a scratch. Lucky.