Reject me
A sharp pain travels through my stomach .I try to turn the other way but there is another one that attacks my heart, this one is a lot sharper than the first.My veins are burning, it is like someone is pouring lava through my channels.I know what this is, but I never thought that he would eventually sink this low, if he wants me dead then he should just say so. I need to get up, I need help.I see the door not so far from reach, but I can't do it, the pain has paralysed my legs. I can't ....
"Akilah!..Akilah!, baby wake up!..please wake up!" I awake to the sobbing cries of my mother. It seems I might have passed out. Once my eyes are fully open, I see him.Standing there next to my distraught mother, pretending like he isn't the reason I am on this sick bed.I don't know if I wish to be dead or to be blind. I hate him.I hate him so much. I hate him and I hate the moon Goddess for giving him to me, I hate everything! I hate it all!.
"Thank the Goddess you are awake, I was so worried!, what happened? Why was no one with you when you were this sick?" My mother says with tears trailing down her reddish cheeks, this is the first time I see her looking so unkept.Her hazelnut hair is in a messy bun that is more messier than it is a bun, her shoes are a pair of her pink sleepers and her brown sandals , she is even wearing my father's black coat. I don't think she realises today she looks less fabulous like she always says to be.Irregardless of how worried and stressed she appears , I don't respond. What do I say to her?, how do I begin to explain that the last six months have been the worst days, the worst hours, minutes and seconds of my life?. How do you tell your believer of a mother that the goddess played a cruel trick on you? that the so called Moon Goddess that they adore enjoys mocking you.Where do I begin?..right now I can't say much to her..I won't . If even the pack doctor did not brief her about why I am in this condition ,then I won't bother to open my mouth either.
"Mum I will be okay, see I woke up..I was probably just too tired.I have been doing a lot of studying recently I must have forgotten to eat . I am okay." I lie.My mother doesn't notice, she wipes her face with the back of her left hand, while her right hand is still firmly yet softly holding onto my left hand.Her hands are warm. If her obsession with the moon goddess did not alter her brain, I would openly tell her everything, but if I told her how my life is, she would say I am not doing enough or end up blaming me for whatever reason she will come up with because her Goddess is never wrong.
"As long as you are okay then I am good, you need to take care of yourself Akie, your father , brother and I love you a lot to have to see you like this okay?, you can even take a break from school if you want, you can write your exams online, you are smart enough, just don't overwork yourself, the moon goddess did not give you this soul and body just so it can die of starvation or exhaustion." She says in a shallow croaky voice that remain the only other evidence that she had been crying before I woke up.
"Yes mum, I will try to take care of myself. I am already eighteen now and I will be nineteen soon, you know I can handle whatever trouble comes my way, I was born for case solving." I once again lie to my mother with a soft smile that seems to calm her.I look up from her and Leon is standing there pretending to be grief stricken. If I was not in this bed, I would have gotten up and tied his fucking head with this intravenous cord and ripped it off his neck. I want him dead!.
"Mum, can I talk to Leon ?..Alone?" ..My mother then looks up in surprise to see Leon, who now has a pail face on still standing behind her. "Oh my Goddess!, I was so stressed and worried I almost forgot that you must have been feeling miserable to see your mate like this too, sorry..being a mother is tough but I am sure it is hard for you as well..please sit". She says while standing to give Leon a place where she was just sited beside me. I want to gag at the thought of him actually caring about me being here.His smell makes me want to vomit, but I want to hold on until mum is gone. " I will go home and get changed, tomorrow I will come in the morning with your father and brother, they will be arriving at twilight from their business trip".She says while standing by the door ,she notices herself on the mirror right by the entrance and " Oh my Goddess Akie! I just realised that I look like a zombie!..I am surprised you did not pass out again after seeing this not so fabulous side of mine. " She exclaims with a soft laugh while readying herself to walk out the door, before she disappears into the hall way , she comes back and gives me a kiss on my forehead. I will miss her.
"Stand the fuck away from me!, no matter how much cologne you put on , you smell like whichever hoe you have been with!."I spit before Leon could even open his mouth. I don't know how dangerous what I am about to do is, but I am tired. It all ends here. "I am sorry.I know that this looks bad but I really did not do it on purpose, she just came onto me, I really did try to push her off but she was just too irresistible, you should understand, you are a man too." Leo says in the most disgusting tone of utter shit I have ever head, funny thing is I believe him, he is the type to be easily seduced by trash. Whether the Moon Goddess is always right or not does not matter to me, I want my life back.
"Reject me"