50 Chung Yeung

"I'm afraid to go there," Chao was lying in the bed, unable to talk himself into getting up. Today was the Chung Yeung holiday. His nightmare. His father wanted him to visit his mom's grave.

Chao was there once. Soon after she died, but he ended up crying and passing out. Having nightmares for months, so his father had never pushed him into going there again.

"She is not dead because of you. You are not the one to blame." Yitian came up to him and sat on his side of the bed. Chao turned around to face him and nodded.

"I know. I know, but still… I was…" His voice broke down and he laid his face into a pillow. Yitian caressed his hair and smiled slightly.

"Listen to me, okay?" Yitian started and Chao raised his head. He nodded and moved his head into Yitian's lap. Yitian was surprised for a while, calming his fast-beating heart. Looking down at him, he played with Chao's silky black hair.

"Your mom loved you, right?" Chao nodded. "Then don't you think, she would love to see you. See how an awesome adult you became? Wouldn't she like to meet me, a person you saved as she saved you?" Chao kept silent, but Yitian could see the change in his eyes.

"She would love you now. It wasn't your fault at all, because your mother did what most moms would do. They protect their children even at the cost of their lives. She did it because she wanted you to live. Not to feel guilty about it." A single tear fell downside from Chao's right eye. Yitian wiped it off and smiled again.

"I will be there for you. Heck…" his smile widened, "I even sleep in your bed, so I'm here for you during the night too. I won't get any nightmares to get to you." Chao chuckled at the absurd truth. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence for a bit. He sent Huobai and Yixing home to their families. So, they had some holidays too.

"You are right… I… Thank you." Chao smiled at Yitian and both got ready to visit the graves of their parents.

Surprisingly, Yitian's father rested at the same cemetery as his mother did. So, they would visit them together.

Their first stop was Yitian's father's grave, they burned some offerings, incense and Yitian smiled slightly.

"You see dad, I'm doing really well now. Mom is doing well too. I really hope that you are having fun up there." Yitian looked at Chao who was quietly looking at him.

"Can I ask you for a favor? If you see Huang Wei, Chao's mother, in heaven, take her somewhere nice and thank her. For me, for you. That she saved Chao, because without him. I would be in here with you." Yitian finished and Chao was teary again, they both prayed and said thanks and byes to Yitian's father.

Now the heavier part for Chao would come. He was still reluctant to go visit his mother, but Yitian was right. He had to do it. Did he really?

When they came up to Chao's mother's grave, Lei and Chao's father were already there. Lei was as usual ice faced, even when Chao and Yitian greeted him.

On the other hand, the sad face of Chao's father was changed to a surprised and then stunned one, when he saw Chao.

"I had underestimated how much influence that boy has," Chao's father whispered to Lei. His older son told him that this boy was a good influence on Chao, that they were helping each other. But Wiewu tried so many counselors and psych- doctors, that he doubted his boy would ever get out of it. Until now.

Chao and Yitian burned offerings and incense, and then they prayed in silence. When Chao saw the name of his mother engraved in the cold stone, he had the urge to run away.

Yitian caught his hand and squeezed it when he saw him. It was silent and much appreciated the help. Chao took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He did not want to say this aloud.

'Hello, mom, I...' he had problems speaking to her even in his own mind, but Yitian nudged him as if he could read his thoughts. he took another deep breath

'Mom, this is Yitian. He is my best friend and he is the one that helped me to talk to you. His father is there in heaven with you so if you meet him, thank him a lot for me please.' Chao started with the easier part and noticed that talking about Yitian made a lot easier for him.

'So, well, I'm really sorry I wasn't here for so long, but I'm here now. I'm really sorry that you died saving me. I really hope I could help you. But I was only a child. We should be mad at the other people that did nothing but I can't be mad that they were worried about their safety…" Chao squeezed Yitian's hand. The warmth of his skin, calming his heart.

'I just want to say thank you. Without you, I wouldn't be able to save him from his mother. And I'm really thankful for that because… because…' Chao couldn't find the right words to express himself.

'...because he is my friend.' Chao said but frowned. Why did it feel so bad? Nevermind. Chao turned to his father.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. And I'm really sorry I made your mourning more difficult." he said to his father and bowed to him, but he was hurriedly pulled into a hug by teary Weiwu.

"No, no, you did nothing wrong. It was my fault. I should have taken care of you. I should have been there for you." They were both hugging and saying the same things over and over again.

Yitian smiled and looked at indifferent Lei. Whose corners of the mouth tilted upwards and he silently mouthed only two words, at which Yitian nodded, with a bigger smile.

THANK YOU.