Say Goodbye

(This chapter references eating disorders and sexual situations.)Persephone slowly stripped out of her wet suit. She looked at herself in the mirror. Anorexia is a confusing illness. When she looks at herself, she knows she is thin, too thin. She had fallen back into her depression. She had lost her appetite, and within a couple of weeks, she had lost a few pounds, and she liked the way she looked. So, she started with hardcore workouts. She ran, and she lifted weights. She realized that when you go for a long time with minimal food, the feeling of hunger subsides. When she did feel hunger pains, she enjoyed the feeling. More weight came off, and one day, she was smaller than Annie. She was eating maybe three hundred calories a day. She drank water and took vitamins. Until she saw the vitamins had fifteen calories each. Ashley voiced many times how worried she was about her. Ashley, Holden, and his parents sat her down and had an intervention. It wasn't until she had the heart attack that she agreed to go to treatment. She pulled an oversized t-shirt from her dresser. Then again everything she owned now was oversized. She slid into bed under the covers. She put her earbuds in and started listening to her Bodhizafa playlist. By the third song, she was in full-blown tears. She sat down at the foot of the bed. He's moving to fucking England! I am trying so hard to be happy for him, but I don't want to lose him. I imagined us finally being together. We wouldn't have been that far from each other when we were both in school. He deserves this. He has worked so hard. And he is a great player. He stood outside her door. He could hear her crying. He thought about it, and he decided to try to talk to her. He wasn't going to leave it like this. This was his chance to tell her how he felt, and hell or high water. He was going to kiss her. Even if the house was on fire, he was going to let anything stop him. He knocked. "Periwinkle? Can I please come in? I really want to talk to you. I know you said I was never allowed back in your room, but I was hoping you could make an exception just this one time."She took the buds out of her ears. "I'm r-really t-tired," said between sniffles."I know. I promise this won't take long. It will take only three minutes and fifty-eight seconds.""Umm. That's oddly specific." She walked to the door and opened it slowly. "That's how long our song is. I want to have a dance before I am forty-two hundred miles from you, which is forth thousand one hundred and ninety-nine miles too many."The ends of her lips curled up slightly. "Okay." She stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him. She handed him an earbud and started their song over again."You were listening to it?" he asked her softly. "I told you, I listened to it every day."He took her into his arms, and she put her head on his chest. There was that beautiful heartbeat."I'm going to really miss you. I am so stupid for wasting so much time I could have spent with you." She looked up. "I'm sorry, Bodhizafa."He cradled her face, his hand so large that his fingers rested on the nape of her neck. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Periwinkle, can I kiss you?" "Bodhi, you finally got to finish your sentence." She smiled."So, is that a yes or no?"She nodded. "My answer will always be yes."🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💖He bent his neck down, and their lips finally touched. It was romantic. The feeling made her knees weak, and he felt her slip. He supported her weight. He couldn't believe it. She was so light it felt like she weighed nothing. Her lips felt like velvet. She parted them and let his tongue find hers. When the tips touched, he felt himself growing hard. It had finally happened. After years of wanting, waiting, and close calls, he finally kissed his Periwinkle. It was more perfect than he could have imagined. His hand slid down her back, and he pressed her closer. For a moment, he thought that he might break her. He eased up, but she pulled him into her and closed the gap. She never wanted this moment to end. She felt loved, safe, and, for the first time, real happiness. She started to feel the warmth between her legs—the same warmth she got when she thought about him. Now she was feeling it because they were embracing and having her first real kiss, and she wouldn't want it with anyone else. Slowly, the kiss became more passionate, more intense. Bodhi's hand slid from her face down her side to her hips. She was so thin he felt her ribs, and when his hands came to a rest on her waist, his large hands almost encircled her. I can't leave her. I can't go. I should just go back to school, get my degree, and find a job in Tennessee. She took hold of his hand and slid it up to her breast. Oh, Dear God. Maybe I should have let someone cockblocked me because I am going to have royal blue balls. He pulled out of their kiss. "Perri---"She released him, walked over to the door, and locked it. She slid her shirt over her head. She stood in front of him, wearing nothing but a small white satin thong.Oh my God. Is she doing what I think she's doing? What is happening? This is about to be the greatest day of my life.  She slowly slid the panties off, not breaking eye contact with him.Even though he had just seen her in a skimpy bathing suit, there was something different about seeing her in nothing but her skin. She was on full display. He saw the extent of how much the anorexia ravaged her body. He didn't know if he wanted to cry at the sight of her or smile because she trusted him enough to be so vulnerable in front of him. "Periwinkle, you don't have to do this."She walked over to him and pressed her chest against him. The feel of skin on skin was driving him crazy. He never wanted something or someone so badly. "Are you sure? Absolutely sure? Once it's done, it's done. I don't know if I should be the one," he said."Bodhi, as far as I am concerned, you are the only one. I need you, and I want you before I lose you. Be my first."He kissed her and slid his shorts and boxers off. She looked down. The equipment did indeed match the frame. Now she was a little worried. Calm down, Persephone. If a baby can come out of it, that can go in. "Lay down," he said.He watched as she climbed on the bed and lay on her back. She seemed nervous since he had released his erection. Usually, women look hungry after they see it.He put his hands on her knees and separated her legs. "Beautiful." He looked at her bare pussy. He started to throb.He climbed between them and looked her in the eyes. "Last time, I'm going to ask. Are you sure? I don't want to think I forced myself on you.""I know you feel it necessary to protect me, but I want you to put that giant dick in me. I permit you."He took the head of his cock and began to slide it up and down along her lips. She became aroused to the point that she ached. Her lips were swollen. She was becoming slick. Her breasts were firm, and her nipples were erect. It was making her crazy. They both started to moan."Wait." He stopped."What's wrong? Did you change your mind," she asked."No. A condom. I don't have any. This is the last place I thought I would be?""At my house?""No Periwinkle. Between your legs," he said with a smile."Oh. Well, you can't exactly ask around for one. It might become obvious who you are going to use it with. And you know Jake and Lewis will be relentless.""I haven't had my period for three months. I have secondary amenorrhea. It's from the sudden drop in body fat. Obviously, I have no STDs. Do you have anything you need to tell me?""I got tested for my physical fitness evaluation, and I am clean. PLUS, my cholesterol levels are excellent." He smiled, and she giggled. "And I can pull out.""Sounds good to me. So, let's start over."He ran his tongue over her nipple. She couldn't believe how good it felt. She loved the feel of his lips and tongue on her body."Are you ready, Periwinkle?""Can you call me Persephone?" she asked.He smiled. "Are you ready, Persephone?"She gazed into his eyes and nodded her head. "Please. Go slowly. Very, very slowly."He took his cock and gently guided himself into her. He could tell she was in pain.It took a solid minute of him slowly moving back and forth, inch by inch, going deeper into her. Their eyes were locked. It was erotic."Is it okay? Are you okay?"She swallowed hard and quickly nodded her head. "Yes. It's good. Just do what you would normally do."He began to thrust deeper into her. He didn't know how, but she took almost all of him. He must have been hitting her cervix."Kiss me," she said.He lowered himself close to her, and they kissed slowly at first, then without abandon. He kissed her neck and her shoulders. After a few minutes, he asked, "How does it feel? Does it still hurt?"She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled herself closer to his body. "It most definitely doesn't hurt anymore. Can you go faster?""Of course. I'm not sure how much longer I can last. I've never done this without a condom before. The feeling is mind-altering." He started to quicken his pace. She started to moan, and her eyes started to flutter. "Bodhi, I'm starting to feel something happening."He smiled. "Just wait it gets better." He kissed her. His toes began to tingle. He knew he was about to explode. The want he had for her had been pent up inside of him for so long."I can feel you getting harder. Are you about to come?" she asked.He couldn't talk. The sensation was so intense. He rested his left forearm on the bed, and with his right arm, he gathered her up and pressed her against him. He moved faster. His abs flexed, and his glutes tightened. He kissed her hard. It was wet and sloppy.Her walls spasmed. She threw her head back and let out a scream so loud it was as if she unhinged her jaw to make it. She had never felt anything so incredible before.His balls climbed up against him, and he burst forth a stream of hot cum deep inside of her. It felt amazing to him. His brain had taken a break for about ten seconds. He had yearned to be inside her, and it finally happened. That was all he was thinking about at that moment.It took them both about fifteen seconds, and a look of horror came over Bodhi's face."What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is it my body?""I forgot to pull out. I was supposed to---""Oh, well, it's too late now. What's done cannot be undone. I'll go to the bathroom, and maybe it will come out. That sounded really stupid, didn't it?" She covered her face with her hand in embarrassment."Yeah, but I am not against giving it a try," Bodhi said, making her giggle."So, now what?""We have to move.""I'm not sure my body is capable of functioning right this second. I can still feel my entire body tingling. Don't you? she asked running her fingers down his jawline, stubble tickling her finger."Unfortunately, we don't have the lingering orgasm capability. We come, and then it goes. Guys are like fireworks; women are like sparklers.""Damn. I feel sorry for you all," she said with a giggle. "Because this is amazing." She sighed."Okay, I do have to pull out now, and it's going to feel kinda weird. Brace yourself."He slowly eased out of her. Both sucked in a deep breath."Wow. That was kind of weird. But a good weird," she said.She slid out of the bed. "I'm going to go give that whole bathroom thing a try." She picked up her shirt and rushed out of the room and down the hallway.💖🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰Bodhi got under the covers, put his hands under his head, and stared blankly at the ceiling, watching the fan spin. That was the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I finally made love to someone. I had something besides sex. God, how am I going to be able to leave her? Maybe this wasn't the best thing we could have done. No, I could die now, and they would find me with a smile on my face. I love her. I love her so fucking much. Should I tell her? That might scare her. I mean, what if she doesn't love me? What if she just likes me a lot? What if she finds someone while I am gone? I mean, I want her to live life to the fullest but fuck, that would kill me inside. Perri came back into the room and climbed into the bed."How did it go? Everything come out okay?" He smiled."Well, something came out."He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "I'm the big spoon. You're the little spoon.""You're more like a ladle, and I am a spork.""No matter what kind of silverware we are, I wouldn't want to be anywhere in the world right now but right here," he said, kissing her on the back of her head. Her hair had the familiar smell of watermelon."She bit her bottom lip. "Not even England?" She felt a pain in her chest, and it was not because of her illness."I'm not going to England.""You have to go. You have a contract. You can't just say screw it. And why would you not follow your dream? If I could live my dream two days from now, I would do it in a heartbeat.""I can't leave you. Not like this, not now, not after what we just did," Bodhi said.She sat up and pulled the covers up. She looked at him. His face was serious. "Bodhi, no. If I knew doing this was going to keep you here and not follow your dreams, I wouldn't have made any advances on you.""I didn't make love to you because you made an advance on me.""Make love? You consider what we did making love?""Of course. If you have sex with someone you love, then you're making love."Her eyes widened. "You love me?"He sat up and held her face resting his forehead on hers. He whispered to her, "Persephone, I have been in love with you for years. Do you love me? Do you think we made love tonight?"Of course I do, duh. I love you, and I would do anything for you. Anything but getting in the way of your dreams. She didn't want him to stay. She didn't want him to break his contract. He would lose any chance of being picked up by any NBA team. What should I say? I can't be the person who ruins his future.She turned her head. She couldn't look him in the face. "I wish I could say it back to you, but I am eighteen years old. I can't say I even know what love is. I feel very strongly for you but not strong enough for you to stay just for me." Oh my God, my heart feels like it is literally breaking. I hope I am not having another heart attack. "Periwinkle. That's really how you feel? I thought we were on the same page. Are we at least reading the same book?""I just don't see a future for us. I am happy that we did this. I will never regret it. Thank you.""Thank you? You don't see a future for us?" His tears started to build. He got out of the bed and put his shorts back on. She could see how angry he was. She had never seen him like this, and his look scared her. "So, what exactly was this? You just thought it would be fun to use me to lose your virginity. Why? Because you know that you won't see me again?""Clean break. You know. It's like we were going to be able to have a long-distance relationship, especially one where I have no chance to see you for a year.""You can visit me. I'll fly you out." He got on his knees, looking like he was praying. "Why are you saying this? I know you feel the same as I do.""I'm going into the Inpatient program for a minimum of twelve weeks. So, you staying here is a moot gesture.""Yeah, but---"She cut him off. "And I don't want you to."He looked up at her, able to see the pain in her eyes. He knew her, and he knew that she was lying."I know you're lying. Tell me you're lying. Please."I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay and make love to me every night. I want you to ask me to marry you. I want to have your children. I want to get better not only for me but for you and our future."This took a lot of me. I think I need to go to bed. Maybe you should go now," she said."No.""No? What do you mean no?"He took her hands in his and kissed them. "I'm not leaving you. If you are going to make me go to England, then I am going to stay here, and I am going to hold you tonight, all night. And if you feel the same in the morning as you do now, then I will go without an argument. Deal?"She knew she wasn't going to change her mind. She had to do what was best for him. She knew it was going to be hard to get through her rehab and deal mentally with him out of her life again. The thought of him holding her all night is a dream come true. She can't turn that down."Come on, Bodhizafa. Get in the silverware drawer.""Should I get naked again? Please tell me I can get naked again. Please tell me you can get naked again."She stripped off her t-shirt. "Yay!" He dropped his shorts to the floor. 🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️🛏️They made love two more before they finally fell asleep. He didn't let go of her all night. He never wanted the night to end. He prayed that she would change her mind about them staying together. He kept racking his brain about how he could get out of his contract. He knew that she loved him. All she needed was a good night's sleep. She started to stir. She rolled over and, sleepily, opened her eyes. He was already wide awake and had been looking at her face for the last hour. She smiled at him."Good morning, Persephone." He kissed her on the nose."Yes, it is.""So, have you changed your mind about us? Do you want to give us a try? Will you let me stay here and help you?"She bit her bottom lip. She wanted to tell him yes. Yes, to all of it. "Bodhi.""Yes?""I need to do this on my own. I need to concentrate on myself not try to foster a relationship here or forty-two hundred miles away. When people are in rehab, they tell you not to start any new relationships during the first year of recovery.""Yes. But we pretty much are kind of already together.""If we were pretty much already together, then I wouldn't have found you in that basement. Getting your dick---""Please, can we not get into that? I thought we put that behind us."She had, but she needed him to get mad at her, to go to England and not look back, to be who he was always meant to be—and that's not her keeper."Well, I brought it up because if you did that, then how am I supposed to trust you in England? That's why I can't have a long distance us. As far as you staying here, I won't have my phone, and I can only have visitors on certain days. Twice a month. There are a lot of restrictions. So, you need just to go. Be the best Eagle you can be and fly as high as you can.""First, that was so fucking corny. Second, I take what I can get. Third, if I know that you are mine and I finally have you as my girl, there is no way I would even blink at another woman."He's determined. I'll give him that."What if I wanted to blink at someone?" she said, her voice cracking.And that was it. That was the clincher. That broke his heart."You would do that to me? You would cheat on me? You haven't had one serious relationship. What makes you think anyone would even want to date you?"She looked horrified. "How can you say that to me? You don't think anyone would want me? Why? Because I'm damaged goods? I'm not pretty like Andromeda? I have no desirable qualities?""NO! NO! I didn't mean that. I should have never said that.""You need to go. You need to leave my room and the country.""Come on, Persephone. Don't. I need to know you are okay. Holden said that you can check yourself out at any time. You aren't required to stay. I need to know you are going to stay, that you are going to be okay.""I promise that I will stay and get help. I will text you once a week to check-in, and that's all. I'm just checking in. And I'll tell Holden he can share updates with you. Just go to England, please. I can't even start my journey to become who I want to be. You are one day away.""Fine. I'll go. I'll leave you here to work on yourself. I just need to know something. Please just tell me the truth. Do you love me?"She kissed him. "You promise me that you are going to go? You'll go chase your dreams?""I'll do my part if you do yours," he said."Then the truth is, I do. I do, and I always will. You are the single most special person in my life. That's why I want this for you.""Then this is it? When I pull out of your driveway, I'm just supposed to forget all of this and just move on?""It's not moving on, it's moving forward," she said. "I love you, Periwinkle.""I love you, Bodhizafa.""Can I make love to you one last time?"She kissed him. "I will always say yes."📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝A/N: It finally happened! Do you think they will be able to stay apart? 🎧I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU: BOYZ 2 MEN🎧