Is This... Peace?

I had to hand it to Talion. He managed to gut three out of the five major Uruk Tribes without winning a single battle. Then he reminded me why he is a fucking idiot.

Mozu's forces didn't survive me ramming a thousand disciplined Uruks up their bent over asses with their army spread out for maximum pillaging efficiency. Half of them surrendered the moment my forces caught up with them. A quarter of them died. And a quarter of them ran while the other quarter died. Mozu had the privilege of being in the middle category and his gold covered skull joined Ratbag's and Ranger's in my collection.

The nice part about an indefatigable army is that everyone was still up for executing a counter raid into Cirith Ungol after we wrapped up. It went brilliantly, obviously, and we sacked Darz-Ghurum with very minor losses.

Ironic really. Mozu attacked me cause he didn't want to trade his iron for my food. Now I have all his iron, enough to satisfy my needs for years. And I have all the food too. I left Cirith Ungol quickly though. Way too early in my plans to be that close to the Witch King.

And that is where Talion fucked up. Even after loosing at Seregost his army did enough damage to Orthag's that the Terror Tribe came south from their edge lord Black Hand Fortress east of Barad Dum. Not in full force, but an uptick of warbands enough to keep Orthag from recovering. Softening him up for a real invasion.

But then Talion and Celebrimbor's obsession with taking major fortresses saw them go to Cirith Ungol and take over with almost no resistance, and for the first time since he created the New Ring Talion had ground he needed to defend.

I was worried that the death of Mozu would bring the Nazghul down on me. The guy still had to die obviously, but those ghostly fucks hounding me would be a pain in the ass. With Talion taking Darz-Ghurum only spitting distance from Minas Morgul and the Witch Kings stiffy for the undead pair, I got to sit in my fortress and focus on re-educating my captures and breeding additional warriors for my army.

Seregost got a reprieve because of this. The Witch King called on the Terror Tribe to march west and put the whole region to the sword. This meant peace for me too as the Machine Tribe wasn't leaving there industry in Gorgoroth unattended for anything and the Marauder Tribe was already showing signs of folding as Tarka the Sandspider started taking L's in Lithlad against both a rebel Uruk Tribe called the Outlaws and the forces of the Human mercenaries in the region under the leadership of Baranor the Conqueror. Or soon to be Conqueror.

So I am in a really good place right now. Of all the leaders in Mordor I have the least amount of people trying to kill me and take my shit. Dare I say, I might actually have the time to start growing my forces.

I put the breeding pits back to normal production for that, as twenty warriors a season would take me twenty five years to replace all the casualties sustained since the campaign against Talion started. This was versus the four years needed otherwise.

Keeping to only breeding my sons would also cheapen their worth per unit. By keeping the supply low I can focus the WAAAGH on creating twenty ridiculous killing machines that don't get deleted as soon as a hero type shows up.

I mentally went over my play book for fucking up your kids. It took a good long while as I was an expert at both fathering children and being an awful father. Because of this I could make a road map of mistakes not to make and because I am an especially esmarty boy I can learn from the mistakes of others… Like the Emperor of Mankind.

If I don't want an Angron I should avoid allowing all his friends to be killed when I could easily help them out, and I should also not embrace his enemies right after they kill all his friends. EZPZ no way am I going to let a bunch of Neo Romans roll up on my boy's bois and not get in on that battle myself.

If I don't want a Mortarion I should not goad my son into a suicide mission then mock him for failing it after saving him and completing the mission myself with ease.

If I don't want a Lorgar I must not let my son be raised by pedophiles and then blow up his favorite city for worshiping me as his god before humiliating him ruthlessly because I am an edgy militant atheist asshole.

Thank God I'm not one of those.

I'd never deny my son a kick ass demon sword so I will have to keep my head on a swivel for a Fulgrim popping up, but I can prevent the rise of a Perturabo for the low low price of telling him 'Good job, son.' But I don't think anyone can prevent a Horus or Magnus. Horus was an ass clown who got turned by enemy action and Magnus always played with powers he was told not to no matter how many times he was told not to. Can't really stop either of those things.

I don't think I have a Kurze as none of my boys should have powerful future sight driving them insane, and how the fuck do you even get an Alpharius and Omegon. That sounds like a fuck ton of work to arrive at someone so fucking stupid. Yeah ass wipe. Trust the Xenos with future sight that you should betray your dad to uphold his legacy.

Real fucking bright.

No idea what the fuck happened to the lost Primarchs so nothing to learn there.

So I got to keep my eyes on my Horus, Fulgrim, Magnus, and Alpharius only cause I don't have an Omegon. Maybe two wild cards.

Six out of twenty. Not bad.

Of course that all relies on them all not going postal over the kids I put in Amelia, Britney, and Charlotte cause lets face it. I am going to love those kids way more cause I got to put them there with a real fucking rather than twenty jackasses that I jerked off into mud to make.

God I am going to love training those guys.