Suspicious Alien A Screenplay by KleiNightwriter
INT. MEDICAL BAY - AFTERNOON
Passionate Astronaut CREWMATE BLUE JOHN is arguing with Funny Astronaut CREWMATE PINK CUTE. BLUE tries to hug PINK but she shakes him off.
BLUE
Please Pink, don't leave me.
PINK
I'm sorry Blue, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
BLUE
I am such a person!
PINK frowns.
PINK
I'm sorry, Blue. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
PINK leaves.
BLUE sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, Cheerful Astronaut CREWMATE YELLOW QUIRKY barges in looking flustered.
BLUE
Goodness, Yellow! Is everything okay?
YELLOW
I'm afraid not.
BLUE
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
YELLOW
It's ... an Alien ... I saw an evil Alien Pretend to be good and kill a bunch of Crewmates!
BLUE
Defenseless Crewmates?
YELLOW
Yes, defenseless Crewmates!
BLUE
Bloomin' heck, Yellow! We've got to do something.
YELLOW
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
BLUE
You can start by telling me where this happened.
YELLOW
I was...
YELLOW fans himself and begins to wheeze.
BLUE
Focus Yellow, focus! Where did it happen?
YELLOW
Electrical Room! That's right - Electrical Room!
BLUE springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
BLUE rushes along the street, followed by YELLOW. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. ELECTRICAL ROOM - SHORTLY AFTER
RED SUS a Suspicious Alien terrorises two Crewmates.
BLUE, closely followed by YELLOW, rushes towards RED, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
YELLOW
What is is? What's the matter?
BLUE
That's not just any old Alien, that's Red Sus!
YELLOW
Who's Red Sus?
BLUE
Who's Red Sus? Who's Red Sus? Only the most Suspicious Alien in the universe!
YELLOW
Blinkin' knickers, Blue! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most Suspicious Alien in the universe!
BLUE
You can say that again.
YELLOW
Blinkin' knickers, Blue! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most Suspicious Alien in the universe!
BLUE
I'm going to need Vote to eject, lots of Vote to eject.
Red turns and sees Blue and Yellow. He grins an evil grin.
RED
Blue John, we meet again.
YELLOW
You've met?
BLUE
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young BLUE is sitting in a park listening to some Ambient Sounds music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees RED. He takes off his headphones.
RED
Would you like some Electrical Wires?
BLUE's eyes light up, but then he studies RED more closely, and looks uneasy.
BLUE
I don't know, you look kind of Suspicious.
RED
Me? No. I'm not Suspicious. I'm the least Suspicious Alien in the world.
BLUE
Wait, you're a Alien?
BLUE runs away, screaming.
INT. ELECTRICAL ROOM - PRESENT DAY
RED
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
YELLOW
(To BLUE) You ran away?
BLUE
(To YELLOW) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
BLUE turns to RED.
BLUE
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
BLUE runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
BLUE
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Vote to eject.
RED
I'm not scared of you.
BLUE
You should be.
EXT. CAFETERIA - LATER THAT DAY
BLUE and YELLOW walk around searching for something.
BLUE
I feel sure I left my Vote to eject somewhere around here.
YELLOW
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly Vote to eject.
BLUE
You know nothing Yellow Quirky.
YELLOW
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, RED appears, holding a pair of Vote to eject.
RED
Looking for something?
YELLOW
Crikey, Blue, he's got your Vote to eject.
BLUE
Tell me something I don't already know!
YELLOW
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
BLUE
I know that already!
YELLOW
Imposter being spotted by jumping through vents.
RED
(appalled) Dude!
While RED is looking at YELLOW with disgust, BLUE lunges forward and grabs his deadly Vote to eject. He wields them, triumphantly.
BLUE
Prepare to die, you Suspicious Quirky Potato!
RED
No please! All I did was Pretend to be good and kill a bunch of Crewmates!
PINK enters, unseen by any of the others.
BLUE
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those Crewmates were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Blue John defender of innocent Crewmates.
RED
Don't hurt me! Please!
BLUE
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these Vote to eject on you right away!
RED
Because Blue, I am your father.
BLUE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
BLUE
No you're not!
RED
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
RED tries to grab the Vote to eject but BLUE dodges out of the way.
BLUE
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, RED slumps to the ground.
YELLOW
Did he just faint?
BLUE
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Vote to eject.
BLUE crouches over RED's body.
YELLOW
Be careful, Blue. It could be a trick.
BLUE
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Red Sus is dead!
BLUE
What?
BLUE
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
YELLOW claps his hands.
YELLOW
So your Vote to eject did save the day, after all.
PINK steps forward.
PINK
Is it true? Did you kill the Suspicious Alien?
BLUE
Pink how long have you been...?
PINK puts her arm around BLUE.
PINK
Long enough.
BLUE
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Red Sus.
PINK
Then the Crewmates are safe?
BLUE
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable Crewmates enter, looking relived.
PINK
You are their hero.
The Crewmates bow to BLUE.
BLUE
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Red Sus will never Pretend to be good and kill Crewmates ever again, is enough for me.
PINK
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the Crewmates passes BLUE a Dumb Sticky Note
PINK
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
BLUE
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
BLUE
Well, if you insist.
BLUE takes the Sticky Note.
BLUE
Thank you.
The Crewmates bow their heads once more, and leave.
BLUE turns to PINK.
BLUE
Does this mean you want me back?
PINK
Oh, Blue, of course I want you back!
BLUE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
BLUE
Well you can't have me.
PINK
WHAT?
BLUE
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a Alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
PINK
But...
BLUE
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Yellow.
YELLOW grins.
PINK
But...
YELLOW
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
PINK
Blue?
BLUE
I'm sorry Pink, but I think you should skidaddle.
PINK leaves.
YELLOW turns to BLUE.
YELLOW
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
BLUE
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly YELLOW stops.
YELLOW
When I said Imposter being spotted by jumping through vents, you know I was just trying to distract the Alien don't you?
THE END