Ch 34 The Last Apology

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The red light coalesced into a spell that James was too off guard to completely block, hurling him backward into a cauldron.

Evelyn stepped into view in the wake of the stunner, surveying the devastation before fastening her gaze upon the Marauders. There was no friendliness, awkwardness nor even anger in her expression, only ice like the arctic circles. "You know," she said, her voice the purest venom, "I had a theory about you, but after what you did to my friends, my family and my home… I really don't care." Two cloaked figures stepped out from behind her. "I'll let them handle you lot."

"Alright boys," said one of them, a witch from her lilting voice, "we're Aurors. Drop your wands now!"

"This is a mistake!" Sirius shouted. "I'm telling you, this is all just a misunderstanding. A prank that went wrong."

The woman glanced at the two of them tied up - Severus covered in grease with his ear half-missing while blood trickled down Lily's face - and let out a derisive snort. "Right... Now put your wands down and come quietly, before we have to make you."

"Come off it," James pleaded weakly as he struggled to his feet. "You've got it all wrong. It was just a silly -"

A bolt of red light slammed into James' chest, sending his wand flying. The other Auror, a tall but burly man pocketed it with a quick summoning spell and grumbled, "You really should be knowing better by now, Hortense. Dark wizards always try to talk their way out o' trouble. Last chance. Drop 'em or we take you down."

For a long moment, the marauders looked at one another, but then slowly, ever so reluctantly, they put their hands up, letting their wands clatter to the floor.

"There you go, good as new. Wasn't the best in charms but I can handle a few cuts and broken teeth no problem," said the male Auror - Pelric - with a beaming smile that looked off-kilter on his thuggish and pockmarked face.

"It's alright…" Lily rubbed her forehead and forced a smile of her own. The aches and pains were gone, and all the blood cleaned up, save for in her memories, but good as new? No, there was no happiness here, save for the desired retribution.

At least Severus was doing better and had his ear back, although his ribs would have to wait until they got back to Hogwarts. Even in victory, it seemed he needed to suffer. She squeezed his hand, which he returned after only a moment.

Pelric gave her a nod, understanding her disquiet. "What you lot did was very brave, keeping these three from escaping. Odds are that if they got away, they would never have been caught - those purebloods get out of just about anything short of murder."

"Don't be encouraging them!" Hortense shouted from where she stood by the Marauders. A small woman with pudgy cheeks, she'd been taking their side of the story while Lily and Severus had been treated. As Pelric had explained it, all parties were being taken into custody briefly while they made sure as to the facts of what happened, although given that it was the Matthews' house, the Marauders had been caught red-handed and had a history of attacking Severus… Lily felt that the outcome was hardly in doubt.

Pelric furrowed his brow and sighed. "She does have a point, I gots to admit. It was very brave and you helped loads… but there's a reason you're supposed to go get us rather taking matters into yer own hands: this sort of thing can end very badly. Didn't this time, but if your friend here," he nodded to Evelyn, "hadn't come for us, it might have. Could have been a lot worse."

Evelyn squeezed her arm in turn. She had stayed back just enough to stay out of the Aurors' way, but only barely and she gave Severus a big hug the moment Pelric pronounced him well enough - albeit one careful to avoid his broken ribs.

To Lily's surprise though, that didn't mean she ignored her for Severus. When Lily wobbled to her feet after being untied, Evelyn helped her up, letting Lily use her shoulder to balance against, and when the Auror asked how she knew the two of them, Evelyn said they were friends from Hogwarts.

It was a strange thought even now. A few months ago, they had been in the middle of a cold war over Severus. Back then, if it was up to Lily, he would have tossed her away like a proverbial used tissue, but over the months, anger became grudging tolerance became light teasing and now... they were friends. Strange how that happened.

As Pelric went to confer with Hortense though, leaving Lily with Severus and Evelyn, his words weighed upon her worse than her wounds had. She'd just wanted to give Severus some justice but if the Aurors had been even five minutes later… would she even have remembered what happened? Maybe they would have put in some memories of Severus causing the explosion, just to make sure she thought it was his own fault. She could imagine going up to James in September with a damn smile on her face, unsuspecting of what he'd done to her.

Even now, Severus was in pain with every rise and fall of his chest. This was her fault if anyone. If only she wasn't so weak... She hadn't been able to do any more than bruise Sirius. Hell, she suspected that even Peter probably could have taken her evenly in a one-on-one. For all that she'd wanted to help Severus, this time, this time of all times, all she'd managed to do was be a speed-bump as the Marauders beat him down once again.

She bowed her head and whispered, "I'm so -"

"I am sorry -"

Severus had spoken at the same time, looking ill in a way she knew had nothing to do with anything the Marauders had done.

She blinked. No, as much as he might blame himself, it wasn't his fault. "Really Sev, I should ha -"

"I shouldn't have -"

Once again, they spoke at the same time, interrupting one another.

Before she could say anything further, Evelyn held up her hand. "I know what you two are trying to do. Don't do it. I heard what you told the Aurors. Lily, it's not your fault you weren't able to protect Severus, and Severus? Not your fault either."

"That's easy for you to say. If you hadn't come back with the Aurors, they would have wiped our minds like dinner dishes."

"I was there though - do you think the Aurors just happened to arrive when they did? I came back when the brewing room exploded, saw what was going on and went to get them." She shook her head. "Yeah, they saved you but if you hadn't held them off as long as you did, they would have escaped. I could have accused them, but I'd have a devil of a time proving it."

"We weren't strong enough though," Lily said. "The Order that we're going to join, Dumbledore's Order... It's going to fight against You-Know-Who, but how are we going to fight against dark wizards when we can't even beat a couple of bullies?" She shook her head. "Sure, Severus might have been able to win the fight for us if I had let him, but I -"

Severus looked as if he were about to say something, but a groan came from Evelyn, who groaned before pulling each of them into a hug, "Look, both of you. I understand feeling bad about everything that happened. Maybe there were better choices you could've made, but you're both safe now. Don't let your worries about the future take away from today, alright? So you weren't strong enough now. That doesn't mean that you'll never be strong enough."

Alright, Evelyn did have a point, she had to admit. Giving up the argument for now, Lily leaned into the other girl's hug. "You're right. We did win today, after all."

Still, she vowed that next time, she would be strong enough. Next time, they would stand side by side as equals in battle, whoever their foe might be. To think, a couple of hours ago, all she'd been worried about was some feelings. To have come so close to their minds being wiped and barely escaping it… She squeezed Severus' hand. Right now, she felt like the world would dissolve before she dared let him go.

"So, Severus," Evelyn broke the quiet and smirked, "A little bird told me you had something really special today. How did it feel having your first shag?"

Severus… well, he actually didn't do much of anything. His sallow skin went white, all the blood draining from his face. His mouth opened but no words came out, only a collection of choked sounds as he floundered.

When Evelyn raised an eyebrow, he recollected himself with a cough. "Should it not be a private matter for Lily and myself?" he said, "And how do you even know -"

"Sev, I kind of told her already."

"Not that it even matters," Evelyn chuckled, her smirk widening. "With how loud your girlfriend was, I am pretty sure everyone…" her tittering stopped and her eyes went wide, "close to the house overheard…" She trailed off, any semblance teasing mischief gone, overwritten by horror.

Lily's mind mirrored it as she realized. 'They knew. They were there, listening as we…' Rage exploded within her anew. So many times James had been annoyed or jealous, now this? She stormed over to the Marauders. "So boys, care to explain just why you tried to pull this 'little prank'?"

Peter sighed, saying in a defeated whisper, "Does it really matter? It's over and done… you got us."

Lily noticed though that none of them met her eyes.

Evelyn must have observed the same thing, as she growled out, "You know what I think? I'm wondering how you got into my house and hid from Severus as you prepared your bit of fun. Were you downstairs the whole time, listening in on them? Maybe you pressed your collective noses on his bedroom door."

James' face gained a greenish tinge. "Please don't remind me. I'm honestly trying to forget that I ever heard that."

"Not having much luck with that, Prongs," Sirius said. "Evans was too busy screeching her bloody head off, but although I'm going to pretend it never happened, it's not why we were here. Honest. It was about Snivellus, not you and whatever sliminess you got down to with him."

"So you say..."

"It's true," Peter piped up, "we were after the greasy git, that's all. You'd made us leave him alone so we were making up for the lost time. Your... stuff... just made it easier to get everything in place."

Lily closed her eyes. So much for her hopes that they were changing their spots. It was just James trying to win her, again. Severus had been suspicious the whole time and she'd thought he was being paranoid, but it was just her being naive. Perseus had been right on many things, not all of them, but this to be certain.

"Now then, we are wanting your side of the story," Hortense said, her clipped tones making it clear just how unamused she was about the entire debacle. "You said that you snuck in and tossed the firework into his cauldron...?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, sticking his chin out defiantly. "It was just another prank, that's all. It didn't need the Aurors."

"If this is your definition of a prank, I'm surprised Headmaster Dumbledore doesn't have Aurors posted at every corner of the school. What's next? Setting him on fire?"

"That was just an accident," Peter squealed. "Ask Slughorn - he sorted it all out."

She sighed, massaging her forehead. "Of course it was..."

Severus watched the whole situation with a fierce glee. His gaze followed the Marauders, tracing every expression of panic and guilt as they futilely tried to dodge the Aurors' questions with the sort of rapture only exceeded by... well, what she and Severus had done an hour or so ago.

After everything, Lily couldn't blame him. As miserable as what happened to her had been, it surely paled in comparison to what he must have endured facing this over the years. It had been so easy for her to overlook it - what were cuts and bruises when Madam Pomfrey could fix them with a wave of her wand? - but now that she had faced the same torment, she understood his fury. To finally see the Marauders broken and hurting, with no chance of escaping their punishment... it was a dream come true to him.

Evelyn looked around the wrecked brewing room and her expression grew grimmer. "I hope it's enough to convict them. My father put everything into his potions business, all our money, years of his life. If they get away with it…"

"Then if there is anything I can do to help, I will," Severus said. "Potter's foolishness will not ruin your life. I refuse to let it.

"Like he said," Lily chimed in, "not that I have much money, but…"

Evelyn didn't respond immediately, instead, she took a deep breath that turned into a sniffle halfway in, followed by another and another, before finally giving up the fight and flinging her arms around both of them with a soft thank you.

The brewing room door opened one more time with a click.

"Dad!" But it wasn't Evelyn speaking, nor her voice that had cried out. It was James'.

In spite of the polite exterior, Edric Potter's expression was steel incarnate. The normally doddering man marched past the Aurors with little heed, having eyes only for his son. When they fell upon him, they closed for a moment, a soft breath escaping him.

"James," Mr. Potter said softly, "Are you alright?"

"I," James swallowed, "well, I'm mostly fine."

"That's good," he said, drawing his son into a tight hug. "When we heard that the Aurors were involved... your mother and I were so worried. What happened?"

"It… Part of it was my fault, dad. It was supposed to be a prank against him." The vehemence in his voice was scalding. "Peter, Sirius and I threw a firework in one of the cauldrons he was brewing - we thought it would be funny, maybe get him in trouble for messing up his potion. This," he waved his hand to indicate the Cauldrons littering the room like corpses in a battlefield while thick smoke hung overhead, "this was nothing like what we had in mind."

Edric took in the devastation slowly, then seemed to sag in upon himself. "So you started this on purpose, in an effort to hurt a schoolmate in another schoolmate's house?"

"It's not what you think, sir," Sirius said. "Anyone else, sure, but Snape isn't just anyone. He's a dark wizard, as dark as they come."

"Yeah," Peter chimed in. "You should see just what he's capable of - he casts the Unforgivables."

Mr. Potter stilled, eying Severus speculatively.

'Alright, no. No, no, no, no, no.' Lily could see where this was going and stepped between him and Mr. Potter, just in case. "Severus is not a dark wizard!"

"The only reason you're saying that," Sirius said viciously, "is that you're in bed with him, nothing more, nothing less."

Lily didn't bother to dignify that with comment. "The only reason you are accusing him is your own hatred. I don't know why you despise him so much, but I don't care anymore. It's disgusting. You're just lying about him as an excuse to torment him and escape your own crimes."

Edric looked from one of them to the other before turning to James. "My son, is what Sirius says true? Is this," he eyed Severus, clearly searching for something complimentary to say and failing, "err, fellow a dark wizard?"

"Of course he is." James said, glaring at Severus.

"If he is a dark wizard, that changes things," Mr. Potter said quietly. "A crime against a dark witch or wizard is treated with far less severity - it is not as if people would mind if You-Know-Who's minions were given a bit of a roughing up. Tell me, what sort of dark acts has he done?"

Lily could only stare in disbelief. They were actually trying to make this about Severus.

The Marauders immediately started talking all at once. "Well, you know that gang of Slytherin bullies I was telling you about, dad? He's one of them."

"Sometimes, we've had to go to the hospital wing on account of how he hexed us."

"He's been trying to get us expelled since our second year.

"And he's been twisting Lily for months -"

"Oh come off it, he has not been twisting me!"

James shook his head. "You're so different from the beginning of the year. The person I knew then would never have -"

"That's not because of 'dark manipulations'! It's because I've learned and grown, and -"

"Enough!" Mr. Potter shouted, but rather than turning on her, he rounded on his son, "You told me that this young man was a dark wizard, yet your only accusations are schoolyard mischief and petty jealousies?"

"He knows more dark magic than even my own family!" Sirius shouted. "He could rip your heart out and -"

"And who has he used these spells on? Which people have been tortured or killed, their minds shattering like glass?" As the Marauders looked at one another, Mr. Potter shook his head and turned to James. "The dark arts are appalling and disturbing… but as worrisome as his interest might be, knowing dark magic does not make one a dark wizard! Dark wizards don't play about in schoolyard battles! They ruin lives, torturing and killing like humanity itself is some plaything to break whenever they are bored. This boy is not a dark wizard… and that makes everything that you have done today a crime, my son."

"Why?" James roared. "Why is everyone taking this so bloody seriously? It's no big deal! It's just Snape."

Mr. Potter recoiled. "Just Snape? Just Snape?" He narrowed his eyes, his voice lowering to a whisper. "You have no idea, do you? When you call him 'just' somebody, you sound like every dark wizard that I have ever fought. 'Just Snape, just a Muggle, just Muggleborn... it was all the same to them, the perfect reason to justify the bodies they left in their wake." He shook his head and growled out, "He is not 'just someone'. He has hopes and dreams, fears and doubts like every other person you know, and he deserves better than to be used as your target."

"You don't know him! All he wants is to join the Dark Lord, just like every Death Eater wannabe! There's nothing good, kind or decent about him, just a monster."

"Oh, you know him so well? Have you ever asked what he desires?"

"Well, not exactly, but…" James faltered, before rebounding, "don't you trust me to know what I am seeing?"

"Then what have you done to help him?" James didn't answer. "Fighting darkness isn't just a matter of wands but words too. If you are right, then have you tried to persuade him he was wrong? Tried to guide him down a better path?" Mr. Potter's expression hardened at James' continued silence. "Of course you didn't. The lot of you didn't want to prevent evil, darkness or cruelty, you wanted someone to torment without guilt."

"I didn't want… I just…" James' words trailed off, his face paling all the while. "I just…"

Mr. Potter softened. "Every time you fight with him, there is only more hatred and bitterness being poured out. You are not fighting the darkness, you're feeding it and welcoming it into your heart." He put his hand on James' shoulder. "But you are my son, and I know that you can be better than that. Do it, now, be worthy of the House of Gryffindor."

James looked at Peter, who couldn't meet his eyes, then Sirius, who looked doubtful for the first time since this had started. He opened his mouth, then shut it, and a lost child peered out from his eyes. Then he turned to Severus. His face was the color of milk and his lip trembled, and when he walked closer, he stumbled.

Finally, when he was a few feet away, he bowed his head. "Sna- no, Severus... I'm sorry."

Severus furrowed his eyebrows and remained silent.

"My dad's right. I hated you from the beginning, because of being a Slytherin, because of your dark magic, because of Lily..." Severus narrowed his eyes as he trailed off, but James swallowed and continued, "I did think you were going down a dark path, but rather than stop you or try to discourage you, it was my excuse to bully you, and for that, among other things, I'm sorry." He extended his hand.

His words, they seemed genuine, soft and sad… but then Lily remembered his supposed sadness as he prepared to wipe her mind.

The way Severus' eyes narrowed further made it clear he shared her thoughts. "You come to my friend's home, attack me, attack Lily, try to wipe our memories, and you think that a few words of apology are enough to get you off the hook?" He shook his head derisively. "I'll see you in Azkaban."

"And don't even try it with me," she said. "I gave you second chances, a chance to make peace with Severus and because you couldn't get me, you nearly killed him in some stupid petty revenge plot. No, I hope you rot."

James looked at both of them, let out his breath in a sigh and bowed his head while withdrawing his hand unshaken. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll go to Azkaban. When I make it out of there though, I promise you this: I'm going to make it up to you, I swear."

Lily snorted. "Sure you will, just like you did for all the time you spent bullying him. And who knows, maybe an owl will fly out of my backside." She shook her head. "Let's go, Sev. You need to get treated."

Severus didn't say anything, glowering at Potter. For some reason though, she thought she saw a slight softening of his eyes, be it ever so small. Still, he shook his head. "Words are easy, Potter. If you truly mean your apology, then don't just tell me how bad you feel, show it."

James said nothing but nodded.

As they apparated away, Lily glanced back for but a moment, seeing the bully who had tormented her and her friend, the slick charmer who had tried to woo her, and the young man who had lost everything. Then the world whirled away.

'Goodbye… Potter.'

The spell slammed between her legs with a flash of red, dodged courtesy of some fancy footwork. The follow-up spell was too quick, so Lily blocked it with a protego, followed up by counter-attacking with a couple of quick hexes of her own.

Her foe was relentless, deflecting her attacks before continuing his onslaught with jets of white and red magic. He closed in, his spells tearing gouges in the earth around her feet before one hit her in the hip and caused angry red welts to spread rapidly up and down her legs.

She hissed at the pain even as she quickly performed the counter, before dodging past her foe's non-stop bombardment to hurl two more hexes and flick her wand just to his left.

Her foe blocked the hexes with speed and efficiency, smirking as if to say 'is that all you can muster?'

She imagined that the picnic blanket dropping onto him a moment later served as her answer. To his credit, it only distracted him for but a moment, but in that moment, her follow-up expelliarmus struck home, sending his wand arcing into the air. A quick accio later, and it was zooming right toward her.

Rather than standing there like a chump he dove forward, not for his wand but for hers. Instinctively, she tried to blast him but was just a fraction too slow as he caught her wrist with one hand and hoisted it up while the other tried to pry her hand open to get at the weapon within. He was skinny, yes, but too strong. Soon enough, he would have her wand.

But that left one of her hands untouched. She stomped on his foot and belted him twice in the stomach.

He didn't let go, but his grip weakened enough for her to wrest her hand away and poke the wand to his chest. "Give up," she said, her own chest heaving from the exertion, "I've won."

Severus lowered his head… and smirked. Before Lily could react, he surged forward again, pressing his lips to her own.

She hesitated for a moment, her mouth opening slightly. That was enough for him to slip inside, tracing her tongue with his own. She still had her wand to his chest, but... ohhh. He had gotten far, far too good at this. Heat filled her head and habit had her tongue warring with his own before she could think to stop herself. Winning was a quick spell-cast away, but she'd need to push him away.

His hand slipped behind her head, cradling it gently as long fingertips brushed through her hair.

Fine, she decided grudgingly, she'd let him win this time...

Her bedroom looked as if a small hurricane hit it, even more than the normal mess. Articles of clothing were strewn about, courtesy of the two teenagers who'd barely managed to remember that disrobing was necessary for what they had in mind.

Lily rooted through the mess regathering her clothes as Severus relaxed on her bed. Even with her back to him, she could feel his gaze upon her.

Some things had changed with the months. The Marauders had gone into Azkaban, sentenced to a year for breaking and entering, assault, and a whole mess of property damage. That hadn't been the only change. Evelyn and her father had been more than happy at what the Potter estate had offered to repay them.

The biggest change though, she felt, was Severus. His apprenticeship was finished, at least for the year, but she could already see the results of it. He had grown, not necessarily cocky but more confident. Where before, he would have looked away, red-faced at her nakedness, now she could feel the way his gaze traced her thighs, the small of her back and her bare shoulders, before heading back down to peer at her backside.

He would quit it if she asked, she knew, and sometimes she felt self-conscious enough to do so - in the darkest corners of her mind, she worried he might think her chest was too small or that she had too much pudge on her belly - but he'd never looked at her as anything less than utterly gorgeous in a way she knew she wasn't but he insisted she was.

Plus, she added to herself as she (slowly and teasingly) slid her knickers back on, peeking back to see those obsidian eyes glittering with each movement, it wasn't like she didn't get her own eye candy too.

Severus had grown taller, his leanness had gained a touch of definition and his skin was less sallow. Everything about him was hard, from his chest to his black eyes to those relentless legs, and all of it felt perfect against her softer form…

Yet at the same time, he was not unyielding. There were vulnerabilities there that only she could see, peeking out like serpents from their dusty burrows.

The organ between his legs was always a clear indicator to his interest, of course, but there was also the way he would lean toward her, his hands would greedily clutch at her and the blood would rush to his face, adding a rather pleasing pink to it. Beyond that, he would watch her brazenly, without the slightest trace of fear.

Yes, Lily decided as her cheeks colored, confidence definitely suited him.

"So," he said, "that makes 22 victories for me and only 4 for you."

She gave him the proverbial stinkeye. "It would be much more even if you didn't try to seduce me every time you lose."

"I believe the appropriate quote is 'all's fair in love and war,'" he replied, stretching his arms lazily over his head. "I can stop it if you like though…" At her lack of response, he smirked.

Although Lily doubted that the battlefield would have quite as many boyfriends trying to carry her away to make sweet, sweet love in her bedroom, she inclined her head in grudging acquiescence before changing the subject, "So, you got the same letter from Dumbledore I did?"

He nodded.

So far, they might have joined his Order but Dumbledore didn't have too many tasks for them - she was Head Girl now, but he wanted both of them to focus on their education for now.

She had been annoyed by it until Severus said one night, his voice so soft she almost mistook it for the air conditioning, "I have to sleep beside them for the next year, Lily. Imagine talking, having fun and bidding Sabrina and Mary goodnight, knowing that in a year or two, you will be trying to capture or kill them."

At his words, she teared up, offering again to let him back out of it but he squared his chin, his eyes like steel. 'You are worth it', his expression said without him speaking.

Still, it made her feel a lot better now about not pushing forward on Order business. However, in the letter they'd received today, Dumbledore asked them to come to Hogwarts the week before classes started to discuss something.

"Do you think it's about me being Head girl?" she pondered aloud.

"Probably not - why would I need to be there?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "Maybe he has a task for us for next year… Potions perhaps?"

Lily bit her lip but shook her head after only a moment of thought. "He's said that he wants us to focus on our education. Really, if anything, he wants you to be able to avoid trouble with -" A thought struck her, an odd one, but... "Now, tell me if I'm mad but… what if he wants you to spy on the Death Eaters for him?"

Severus looked her over carefully, reminding her that her blouse was still somewhere on the floor. Finally, he said, "I think you are right - you are mad. I have spent the last eight months trying to get out of the Death Eaters. I doubt that Dumbledore has any interest in sending me back in."

Good point, and it was a relief honestly that he would be able to escape that den of snakes unscathed. Still, she joked, "Aww, come on, you could be like James Bond." Deepening her voice, she said, "The name's Snape, Severus Snape."

He snorted at that, before miming picking up a quill, "Dear Witch Weekly, my girlfriend believes that I am a fictional character. Please advise before she has me getting a Muggle suit and a habit of shagging every other woman I meet -"

He was cut off by a pillow hitting him in the face.

Chuckling to herself, she finished getting dressed. What a joke - like Dumbledore would ever want Severus as a spy!