Case 29 - The Dunphys in New York

LA: <Events before The Rookie S1E12, Modern Family S9E13, SWAT S1E10>

NY: <Events 99 before Brooklyn S5E11, Suits S7E12 & 1.5 years after Castle S8 finale, around the time of Law&Order: SVU S19E12>

Despite her best efforts to spend some time with her boyfriend - which was the sole reason she wanted to come to New York, Ben was with Phil and Castle at a tailor as her mother forced her to go shopping with her.

The discussion leading up to it left Ben helplessly smiling at the absurdity, but he didn't want to argue with Claire. Something about the look she gave him told Ben that he would regret it.

[Flashback to an hour before]

Ben and Castle were discussing Ben getting 'kicked out of the NYPD' with Phil and Claire trying their best to listen in. They didn't learn any details because Ben didn't share them with Castle, who had already learned the gist of it.

Castle wanted to surprise Ben with a visit to his personal tailor so that he could look nice for the Grammy's, and Haley had immediately argued that she needed to come with. Thankfully for Ben, Castle hadn't revealed why Ben needed that suit. He hadn't told them about the bomb at his old rented apartment that burned down, after all.

Huffing, Haley came back from the bedroom after she dressed up and put on more makeup. She hadn't done so as they were eating pizza 'for breakfast' just the hour before and just wanted to cuddle up to Ben the rest of the day. That changed with the arrival of Castle and his young baby daughter, though.

"Mom! I need to go with them! Maybe I can learn a few tricks from this tailor guy! Castle is rich, I bet any tailor he knows is, like, world class!" Haley quietly shouted as Claire played with the baby. "And I'm here to spend time with Ben. He needs me!"

"But I don't want to go, and your dad will already go with them. You've seen how your dad is around Ben. They'll be fine. Let's spend some quality mother daughter time instead," Claire pleaded. "We haven't done anything like that in years. Just us two girls shopping, gossiping about boys..."

"Ugh! Really? We can't do that when we aren't on a clock? With me having to leave Ben behind again in three days?"

"We can go meet them when we're done shopping for ourselves?" Claire asked with a hopeful voice. The argument didn't take, she noticed upon seeing Haley's unimpressed glare. So she reluctantly added, "I'll pay?"

"Deal!" Haley agreed, though she inwardly already made plans for shopping 'quickly'. She didn't want to miss Ben getting a tailored suit.

[Claire Dunphy commentary scene change]

"Revealing what he did to Haley must have come at the cost of Ben's own peace of mind, I think. Some time away from her, just hanging out with my goofy husband and this Castle guy who had a joke on his lips every second sentence, now that should help Ben regain some center."

Claire mulled over her words and gave a pleased nod.

"I can't compare with the relationship Ben has with Phil, but I'm doing great as a mother-in-law."

[Commentary ended]

Ben was squatting behind a barrel, pistol in hand. He had just taken out a group of five enemies and was a little out of breath. Someone was cursing up a storm behind a different cover several feet away. From the corner of his eyes, Ben saw Castle rushing toward him with his hands over his head.

"I lost Phil," Castle whispered with a distraught expression after he leaned against his young LAPD detective friend.

Ben grit his teeth and quietly asked, "Where? We gotta get him back."

"Down by the water obstacle," Castle replied with a stressed smile.

"This place has a water obstacle?" Ben inquired with an incredulous look as his head snapped to Castle.

"The dried up fountain," Castle sheepishly corrected.

With a small shake of his head, Ben ordered, "Cover me. Until I reach that pillar down there. Then I'll cover for you."

Crouching down, Ben stalked over - going from cover after cover. The one before the pillar, Ben rolled to the side and pressed the trigger.

*pew pew*

"Hah, you're out, kid!" Castle excitedly shouted from behind the barrel where he and Ben met up before.

"Your turn, Uncle Rodgers!" Ben ordered once he got into position.

Castle did just that, but when he reached Ben, he indignantly chided, "Benjamin, if you don't start calling me Rick or Castle, I'm not taking you to the icecream parlor later!"

"You got it, Uncle Rick," Ben countered with a small laugh.

"I'm kind of getting the impression that we're ruining little Jessie's birthday party. You're in a league of your own," Castle quipped as he looked around for more 'enemies'.

"You're the one who bribed the guy running the lasertag place," Ben joked with a shake of his head as he calmly made his way towards the 'water obstacle'.

"Hey, I wanted you to get your mind off of things - not have you demolish a group of 12 year olds..."

"You're loving this," Ben commented with a short look behind him. "We're crushing every record this place had."

The two, mostly Ben, took out half a dozen kids once more until they reached Phil, who was guarded by three kids who made fun of him.

"Beeen~! Rescue meeeee," Phil cried out in clear distress.

Ben took off one of his shoes and threw it over with a shout, "FLASHBANG!"

All three kids looked to where the noise was but quickly covered their eyes. Ben darted out from behind cover with only one shoe on and took out all three kids before they knew what happened. The lights went on.

Team 'Benny and the Kids' - a name Phil insisted on - won again.

"What the hell, dude!?" One of the kids shouted angrily.

"Hey, that's on you. Why would you think we had flashbangs here? Stop playing Call of Duty and stay in school, squirt," Castle gloated as he swaggered behind Ben despite only taking out one kid this entire round.

"Who still plays Call of Duty, grandpa?"

Before Castle could get into a shouting match with a 12 year old at lasertag, Ben dragged him over to Phil.

"What happened, P-money?" Ben asked as he freed Haley's dad and talked in a way that hopefully distracted him a little from his predicament.

The kids taped him to a wall. He was not distracted by Ben. The tape was directly on his skin.

"They were so mean! Get me out of here, I'm dying!" Phil whined - and only increased his wailing when Ben had to remove the tape from his arms and got plenty of hairs out with.

"Wow, those kids are brutal. How'd they even get a full roll of duct tape?" Castle wondered as he admired the kid's handiwork.

[Haley and Claire Dunphy commentary scene change]

Both of them gave a flat stare toward the camera.

"I know now that surprises aren't really working with Ben," Haley began with a defeated sigh.

"We tracked Phil's phone in the hopes of catching them at the tailor," Claire added with pursed lips.

Haley's expression turned a little embarrassed and continued, "I know dad's a super dork..." Claire nodded. "But I didn't know Ben had it in him. We found them at this high-end fancy office building. And I was like, wow, the tailor's working from a Manhattan highrise? Can't get much more high class than that."

Claire shook her head and explained further, "So we asked the guy at the security desk, and he never heard of a tailor in the building. But he did recognize our 'super dorks' on the picture of Phil and Ben we showed him. The one where Ben took Phil on a piggy-back ride at the hospital to distract my husband when we were there for Christmas for Luke's... mishap... The security guy told us that's exactly how they came into the building with my husband on Ben's back. Phil had apparently slipped on the sidewalk..."

"Ugh, anyway. There's an 'underground lasertag' place for the stressed out Wall Street guys and their annoying brats. Those three nerds went there the second the tailor was finished taking Ben's measurements," Haley scoffed with an annoyed eyeroll.

"... we joined them when Phil needed a time-out," Claire admitted as she gained a sheepish smile.

"Ben absolutely destroyed that birthday kid Jessie and his dumb friends," Haley proudly declared.

"I'm not proud to admit... I really liked doing that, too," Claire added with pursed lips.

"I mean, those kids were already down before. But they really only started crying when you joined in," Haley commented with a raised brow and a judge-y look toward her mother.

[Commentary ended]

"You know, blue velvet with a brown belt and brown shoes is a little... uh, too much of an attention magnet. I'll do security at the Grammy's, not walk the red carpet," Ben argued after Haley started searching the high-end shop for things that her boyfriend should try on. She looked him up and down, put it on a list for Ben to order later, and searched on.

Phil was a little down as Claire placated him. He was a little embarrassed by his showing at lasertag earlier.

And Castle was joking around with the staff of the tailor shop, his little baby back in his arms. Claire and Haley had taken care of her before, much to Beckett's discontent later in the day. Not because she didn't trust Ben's girlfriend or her mother, but because Castle hadn't told her about 'giving her baby away' for half a day to people she had never met before.

Just as Ben tried on another color combination that had the resident tailor and owner of the shop give Haley a pleased nod, someone called out to Phil.

"Philip, is that you, my friend?"

Claire and Phil looked over and found someone they didn't expect.

"Chris? Chris Martin?"

"Yes, it is I," Chris confirmed as he walked over for a handshake. "How are you doing, Phil? How's your biscuits?"

Phil's smile turned awkward. The last time Phil met Chris Martin was when Phil showed him a house... and the Coldplay singer had to bring him to the hospital because Phil had an inflamed testicle.

[as seen in Modern Family S9E8 where the singer is a guest star]

"They are fine," Claire answered for him. "How are you? Shopping for a suit to wear to the Grammy's?"

"No, of course not. I'll just wear a shirt or a sweater like I usually do. I have this cool blue jacket - maybe I'll wear that," Chris Martin answered with a soft smile. "No, the suit I'm getting is for when I go flower picking in Argentina in a few months."

Everyone looked at him, unable to find a good response for the eccentric use of a suit, until Chris shook his head and said, "I'm joking, of course. The suit is for grocery shopping incognito. You know, trying something different to find myself again."

Somehow, Chris Martin and Phil started chatting about life and the real estate business of both NY and LA as even Castle looked on incredulously. The author knew plenty of celebrities, but barely any of the actual stars, like the Coldplay singer, were on such... good terms with him.

Castle wasn't entirely sure what he was seeing.

[Richard Castle commentary scene change]

"Oooh, I like these! I think. Cameras are always very flattering for someone as handsome as I," Castle explained as he looked around and settled on the cameras to give it a charming smile.

"After Kate told me all about what happened with Benjamin at that last case of his, I wanted to make her my wife all over again. The fact that she kept an eye out for this and got me all that info on what really happened and even hurried along his weapon getting through IA - in any case. I love my wife. But it put me in a real binder," the author explained with a forced smile at the end.

He shook his head a little and complained, "Benjamin may have had loving parents and enough money to live out his life in comfort. But then his life got hard. And then he made it harder. Was he punishing himself for something? Was he crying out for help, and was I the only one who could see it?"

Castle looked a little lost as he stared ahead a little blankly.

"And that's when I met Phil. I was not the only one who could see it. Phil got it covered. I don't think there's a heart he can't heal."

[Commentary change: Phil and Haley Dunphy]

"This guy who looked just like Rainer was pretty alright. I'm gonna call Rainer 'the weatherman, who looks like that author Richard Castle' instead from now on," Haley stated with a thoughtful look.

"And I totally forgive him for leaving me alone with those twelve year olds at lasertag. He needed to find Ben for us to get out with a win," Phil chimed in with a tight-lipped smile.

"And I would have said he's so nice for allowing us to live in his super nice apartment and paying for all the delicious wine and the restaurant he brought us to," Haley added slowly. "But it turns out my boyfriend is a millionaire. He could just pay for it all himself if he wanted to."

"Haley!" Phil chided with a small frown.

"What? I've been under the impression he was a regular rich guy all this time! But he's a RICH rich guy instead!"

"That shouldn't be your takeaway from knowing Ben was born into wealth," Phil explained as he took his daughter's hand. "It's the fact that despite being born with a golden spoon, he has turned a golden heart instead. He is so approachable and so considerate... I know plenty of rich people who are always mean. Just think of your grandfather and how much grief he put me through over the years."

Haley looked at her father with a raised brow and looked thoughtful before she suddenly scoffed, "Do I need to put more effort into seducing my boyfriend so you won't steal him from me?"

Phil sat a little uncomfortably before he firmly stated, "A man can have romance in his life and bromance. They don't have to be exclusive."

His daughter scrunched her nose and stated, "I'm not sure I like you saying stuff like that..."

[Commentary ended]

Back at Castle's apartment, Ben and Haley were nestled on the couch as Phil and Claire were cooking in the kitchen.

Haley finally couldn't take the suspense anymore and asked, "I pieced together that you're not working for the NYPD anymore. Can you tell me why?"

Her parents quieted down their work in the kitchen so they could listen in.

"Uh, the short story is that it's PR reasons," Ben revealed with a small frown.

"And the long story?" Haley pressed on.

"How comfortable are you with hearing about me getting shot at and shooting people?" Ben wagered as his hands got a little clammy.

"You mean, like, lasertag?"

"No, uh, you remember 'Hot Fuzz'?"

"That British cop movie we watched? For our fourth date?"

"Yeah, the... comedy. I mean, you didn't laugh much, but..."

Phil looked appalled and turned to Claire to furiously whisper into his wife's ear, "She didn't like Hot Fuzz? Where have we gone wrong?"

"... anyway, the kind of scenario where bullets fly around. That's what led to my termination. People died... some at my hands," Ben revealed unsurely.

"Of laughter?" Haley asked as she bit her lips.

"No... there was no laughter involved..."

Claire in the kitchen started smiling a creepy smile, and Phil brought up a hand to carress his wife's cheek, "Really honey? Smiling again when dead people are brought up? Now?"

Claire slapped his hand away and walked over to the two.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear. Ben, did you start the gunfight?"

"No?" Ben unsurely answered.

"Did you have to defend yourself and saw no other way out but to... shoot back?"

"I did," Ben confirmed with a nod and an uneasy smile.

His body count was much higher than he would ever want to admit to the Dunphys.

Claire walked back to the kitchen with her same creepy smile neither Ben nor Haley commented on, though her daughter's gaze followed her back with furrowed brows. Only Claire knew she asked those questions so Haley would have the answers to those questions and not get a wrong impression of Ben.

"You never thought about the fact that it's possible that I end lives at my job?" Ben eventually asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah... but that's not it," his girlfriend denied. "It's just a lot. I mean, Dylan once killed a falcon that smashed into his windshield when we were driving to Coachella, and I couldn't look him in his eyes for a week."

Ben stopped massaging Haley's feet as they cuddled on the couch, but Haley mewled for him to start again.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Sorry, it's just... my hands are... nevermind," Ben non-explained with a shake of his head.

[Haley Dunphy commentary scene change]

"Stupid me," Haley said in annoyance. "Of course he bottled things up to shield me from the... truth."

She scrunched her nose and angrily added, "No! That's not cool! I can't be his girlfriend if I don't know what's going on. There was this one guy at SWAT called Deacon. When he was over at Ben's this one time, his wife picked him up. Should I maybe talk to her to find out more what it's like to be with a policeman? I bet she has it all figured out..."

With a frown, she looked down at her shoes and continued, "So what if people... died. It's not like he's a cold-blooded killer. He's out there to protect people. This Irina girl, for example... ugh, terrible example. She didn't live long after they got her out."

"Oh my god. That's a terrible thing to say, isn't it?" Haley asked with a horrified look. "I'm being a terrible girlfriend, aren't I?"

[Commentary ended]

Ben was in his bed waiting for Haley to get done. The atmosphere as they watched another movie together with her parents, who eventually retired before the second movie under Claire's insistence, got a little heated.

Phil was very hard to convince. He wanted to take Ben to the roof to build a snowman since it was snowing pretty heavily. It took Ben promising they'd do that after breakfast the next morning for Phil to go to bed with his wife.

Eventually, Haley joined him as Ben stared at the ceiling in deep thought.

"I need your mind in this room," Haley demanded as she waited in the door to the bathroom.

Ben looked down and sat up in bed. Haley was not wearing his shorts and longsleeved shirt like she did the night before.

"That's... you're stunning," Ben stammered out with wide eyes once he saw what she was wearing instead of her outfit from last night.

[Haley Dunphy commentary scene change]

"Cha-ching!" Haley celebrated with a cocky smirk. "Would a terrible girlfriend buy sexy new underwear when her boyfriend was clearly going through something?"

She sat there for a moment until she added, "That I made my mom pay for earlier today..."

[Commentary change: Claire Dunphy]

"I regret not buying noise-canceling earphones. I just wanted to be the cool mom and forgot for a moment that I'm also... not cool enough to hear my daughter do that and get a wink of sleep afterwards," Claire described with pursed lips.

"We're getting a hotel room first thing tomorrow."

She sat there for a moment with a distracted look.

"He really put her through her paces, though... good for her."

[Commentary ended]