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Kitsune - An eventfull time abroad

Author: Sani2341
Urban
Completed · 124.8K Views
  • 42 Chs
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  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

Spending a Semester studying abroad will always leave a mark on a person. Especially when you are confronted with more than just a different culture, as Laura experiences first hand when a simple hike in the Japanese alps leads her to encounters with Spirits and Monsters she never believed in.

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Red_Skin_Duck · Urban
4.5
561 Chs

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GD_CruzLv5

Here's my genuine review of the work. It's well written so far,--currently in chapter 5--and although nothing seems to be happening yet by chapter 3, the story Daiki told the other two in chapter 2 speaks of a mystical occurence already happening near the university, which might be a promise of some future fantasy elements coming in. But therein lies my issue. By chapter 3, you're still in the middle of introducing your world's more mundane aspect and have your 3 characters going about daily tasks. This might just be personal tastes, but I would like to see something happen by chapter 3. Even chapter 1. First impressions last after all. At the very least, a hint of something extraordinary happening to these seemingly ordinary protagonists, maybe two white eyes staring at them from beyond the campus shadows or something like that (my example is lame. Sorry). It is a fantasy story after all. Of course, my concern gets remedied later on in the story but some people might find this too slow a burn to get into. Take this with a grain of salt as this is just be my personal preference. If this is more of a mystery novel then i guess it is fine the way it is. But even Dan Brown has at least one dead guy by the end of chapter 1. Now, I have a few comments grammar-wise. I hope you don't mind. It is what you asked of me. :) In general, the writing is solid with the descriptions clearly giving readers a vivid impression of the world Laura is in. Props for that. Although I have noticed some minor issues like no spaces between periods or a misspelling, none of these ruin the flow of the story. I did give a comment about sentence structure in chapter 2, but that's up to you to decide if it was helpful or not. One thing I do want to point out is that you have a very wide vocabulary with a lot of depth and that is clearly seen in you writing. Good job. Well, I'm certainly going to keep readin as it is getting intereting as you keep reading. I wish you the best of luck, author!

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