Chapter 112 – Discussions
"Aarav, do you need to take some time?" Marasa asked, genuine concern in her voice. Aarav's voice seemed to have stopped working, and he just nodded. Then he moved still on hands and knees to the room, opened the door and closed it behind him. He took a deep breath and let all of it out; the soul-crushing sadness, the despair and the horror of what he faced in his previous life. He had never stopped moving or pushing or searching for something to fill that void, and now, for the first time in two lives, he felt some semblance of safety. Both worlds came crashing into him with devastating effects.
Ami was dead, and he supposed he was too. But there was no way he could do anything since powerlessness was his theme of the day. It made sense for this to all feel so hopeless. It was like he had lost his friend all over again. Why hadn't he been better? He could have done things so differently. With the clarity of mind he now possessed, he could see how much had gone wrong with his tainted mind and awful thoughts. That burning itch he could never scratch. His broken mind had stopped them from having the life that she deserved. Why? Why didn't she leave when it was clear I couldn't control my urges when I needed more and more, and I couldn't stop. She should have left me then. She might still be alive.
As with all his musings, though, there were no answers to his questions. He would not get any even if he spent a lifetime searching; he should know. He had already wasted one lifetime on that, and not just his life, her life as well. It was a transgression he made, and he was not sure he could ever forgive. Ami certainly shouldn't; he didn't deserve her forgiveness.
Aarav sat in quiet contemplation for what felt like hours. Eventually, there was a soft knock on the door. Aarav raised his head to see the door quietly opening. Haemish poked his head through the door's opening and looked kindly at the Slime, legs and arms akimbo and body bulging with freshly eaten food. "I suppose eating makes you melancholic?" Haemish said into the silence. Aarav chuckled in response, a soft, heaving laugh that contained a few tears.
"I suppose it must." Aarav replied.
"Resh, I know that we have only just met, but it is clear to me that you have been through much. I would like you to know that while I find studying you fascinating, I also feel that you are someone worthy of getting to know. So if you would like to talk, I am here." Haemish said the sincerity that radiated off him surprised Aarav. The connections people can make are honestly mind-boggling. Even though it had only been two days, I felt like much had happened, and Haemish had shown some genuine kindness to a creature that should be nothing more than a monster to him.
"Thank you, Haemish. I appreciate that. For now, though, I think I just need to understand what is happening myself." Aarav said he honestly wanted to tell Haemish his real name now. It felt awkward to do it after saying Resh from the beginning. It was also unlikely that telling Haemish his real name would result in explosive death. Considering he thought of himself as both Resh and Aarav, it was doubtful that any name-related spells would work differently. I mean, the Soul Oath had worked, even though he used Resh and not Aarav. So what difference would it make now?
Then again, if he thought he was both, was it a lie if he said his name was Resh? "Haemish, call me Aarav. That is what my close friends call me. Well, when I have close friends, I decided they should call me that, you too, Marasa." Aarav said, playing it off nicely, he thought.
"You have given thought to nicknames. Haha, Aarav, is it? You chose the oddest names, you know?" Haemish laughed, taking it in stride. "I can honestly say I have never heard such an unusual name before."
"I have to agree with Haemish. From where does it originate? I know it is just a nickname, but I don't know that any nation I have ever heard of has names like that." Marasa asked.
"I am not sure, something I just thought about, I suppose. I don't know where I thought it. Might have been a noise from the forest or something, and I like the sound of it. I think it made it into my dreams." Aarav said, chuckling nervously.
"You have dreams? Have you had any recently? Sometimes they can have meaning, and oftentimes they do." Marasa quickly latched onto the last thing Aarav had said. "Re-Aarav, you need to tell me."
"I don't remember very well, there were some shadows and mist and people talking, and I don't know what they were saying. Honestly, I don't think it means anything, Marasa." Aarav got a bit flustered at the Healer's sudden intensity. "Marasa, I am sure it is nothing. I promise if I have any meaningful dreams, I will let you know.
"The shadow? Lurker?" Marasa turned to give Haemish a meaningful look.
"Marasa, I am sure it is fine. We have not heard the hide or hair of that creature for decades. He was always just out of sight, and no one caught proper sight of him even when it was clear there was something foul afoot." Haemish soothed the concerned woman, placing a hand on her shoulder before realising what he had done and quickly taking it away. The exchange made Aarav smile.
"The Lurker? What is that?" Aarav asked, not put off in the least.
"No, no, no, no. We will not be talking about such depressing things now. You want to learn about it? You will learn it soon enough. But you have had quite the emotional day, and it comes to bedtime. Now that you have eaten and spent most of the day in this room, it is time to get out. You have been here for over a day and explored the lab, your room and this room. Come on, time to get out of here and move around a little. You still need to learn to use those new limbs of yours." Haemish quickly interjected.
"You're right, of course, Haemish. I do need to get out, but I have received some interesting responses from people about my Slime nature. A couple of people screaming at me and trying to bash me with a broom and such." Aarav recalled the journey back from the King's Soul Oath ceremony. If you can, call it a ceremony. It was painful, annoying, and completely unwarranted, but Aarav was no stranger to indiscriminate violence. He had started life in a forest, after all. But he had not come close to dying, and that was a win in his book.
"I will accompany you for the time being until people become accustomed to having a monster in their midst. Unless you wish to take on a more humanoid form? It would help people acclimate to your presence. You have to bear in mind that the people here are not close-minded. They are generally the most accepting of the people you will find in Darf. Brewyn, as a whole, is quite accommodating to those that are not human. After all, we have many that come into the city for the academy. All are accepted, and one year is free for all. What they cannot get used to is your appearance as a monster. Some will attack you without waiting to hear you speak simply because that is the training we undergo as functioning members of society. The citizenry is responsible for keeping the monsters and creatures in check. Else they cause harm to the population." Haemish explained.
"That's okay, Haemish, I under-" Haemish held up a hand to forestall him before continuing.
"As soon as they hear you speak, they will hesitate, and that will be enough time to speak to them candidly, convincing them of your sentience," Haemish said. "Once you can get your torso up and running with the head on top, that will change."
"As I said, Haemish, I understand. I would like to get to a stage where I can hold a humanoid form at the very least. It will make things easier, I think." Aarav agreed, and the three nodded to one another.
"Right, let's get out of here for a short while. We have been in the lab for most of the last two days. Marasa, care to join?" Haemish held his arm out for her to take, and she eyed it like she was tempted but then sighed.
"Sorry, Haemish, R-Aarav, I really do have to get going. I have already spent more time with you than I intended. Still, it has been quite a stimulating afternoon. I have a few things that I need to complete at the clinic before I go home." Marasa begged off and promptly left the room before the other two could convince her otherwise. "I would like to have another discussion with you both again in the future!" they heard her say from around the corner.
"Right, well, off we go then!" Haemish said, and they both walked out of the lab, Haemish supporting Aarav effortlessly.
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