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Inverse System

Author: Wizzez
Fantasy
Ongoing · 2.1M Views
  • 221 Chs
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  • 4.0
    45 ratings
  • NO.200+
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Nomination Award for WSA 2021 ContestNomination Award for WSA 2021 Contest
Synopsis

"You can copy the opposite of any power, as long as you make contact with the user." As Rein heard those words, he felt like he finally understood this power he awakened to. This power that had never been heard of before... Abandoned by their mother and orphaned by their renowned father's mysterious death at a young age, Rein and Leona Alister lived alone in a small village happy with nothing but each other's company. At least, that was how it was meant to be... Rein wasn't born with any powers, which wasn't the end of the world since one can manifest to a power later in life. However, in Rein's case, he did not manifest to a normal power. He gained a "System"... One that allowed him to take the powers of others and inverse them to make his own. Fire became Water, Weakness became Strength, Death became Life... Aided by this unfamiliar power, how will he use it to fufill his ambitions and avenge the ones he loved? *Author's Notes* I see a lot of people complaining about the MC being stupid in the beginning. While yes, he isn't the smartest when the novel starts, do keep in mind that he's 10 years old! I wrote it with that in mind, and didn't want to make him too smart in the beginning to exhibit his character development! He doesn't know his own emotions, and is clearly going to develop into someone more methodical in the future. Do keep that in mind!

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Chapter 1The Town of Beginnings

"Sis! You're back! What took you so long?" Exclaimed Rein with a happy smile on his face.

Rein Alister lived with his sister in a small town called Lifah. It was located in the continent of Lomia, near the border of two large allied countries, Orthlys and Econica, it being on the Orthlys side.

"Didn't I tell you not to wait up for me? Please don't tell me you've been waiting at the door for the past hour." Leona was secretly happy to see her little brother's eager face after a long day. Though to keep her tough big sister character, she refrained from saying so.

"Sorry, I just got back from babysitting Emria, so I was just waiting here. Anyways, I made dinner! Seared wild boar and slime pudding."

Rein grew accustomed to doing all the housework, considering his sister was always out on Ranger business. Rein became extremely dexterous from always being home alone. He could fulfill any type of manual work and cut a tree down with one strike at the age of 10. He also regularly babysat the neighbor's daughter. Needless to say, Rein was not an average 10-year-old boy.

"I'm sorry for making you do all of this work Rein. If only I was a higher prestige Ranger, I could make us more money and help you around the house." She apologetically spoke as she sat down at the dinner table. She didn't have time to take off her work attire, consisting of black shorts, brown knee-high boots, with a brown leather half jacket over a white shirt, matching her long, flowing white hair.

His sister, Leona, was a Ranger. An adventurer who has near-unlimited freedom, and was licensed to complete Ranger commissions. Most who become Rangers have a "Spring". Springs are super abilities given to worthy specimens. They have existed ever since intelligence sparked, and are the reason for all technological developments in the world. Springs are manifested when a life-changing experience occurs, so most people receive theirs at birth when they cry. But in the case of Rein, when the newborn doesn't cry, they will not manifest their Spring until later in life. In these instances, the manifested Spring will gain strength relative to the user's age. For example, if a 7-year-old manifests a Spring, it will start at strength relative to 7 years of life as opposed to 0. Once a life form has passed the age of 10, it becomes impossible for them to manifest a Spring. Of course, most are simply incapable of wielding a Spring.

"Don't be silly sis, you're 9th prestige! That's the 4th highest rank, not to mention you have dad's awesome time hop Spring! I know you're doing your best, and I don't blame you for the situation we're in! There is someone I do blame though... She's the only reason we've been able to get by, but if it weren't for her, you would've been..." He stopped talking, anger welling up in his voice.

"Rein, how many times have we had this conversation? Aunt Melina isn't at fault for our situation... It was just... and unfortunate accident," she spoke with contempt, beginning to look down, feeling slight bits of cold sweat crawling down her forehead.

"But we could've been living in that palace... How come she got it instead of you?" Expressed Rein in a loud and confused-sounding tone. Rein was smart. He knew the answer to this question. He just wanted to hear his sister say it.

Contemplating whether she should tell him or not, Leona sighed and hesitantly spoke.

"Aunt Melina is the direct daughter to grandfather, so it was only natural. After grandfather's first son died, she was given rights to the heir. We should be thankful that she's even sending us anything..." Her voice slightly trembled as she talked, almost as if she was lying to herself, trying to convince herself with the words she spoke.

Rein's face grew a tense frown. His father, Drevius Alister, was a master dual-swordsman and a 12th prestige Ranger. He was the strongest Ranger at the time, and he donned the name of "Timeless Blitz". His Spring was the ability to hop forward in time, allowing him to dodge incoming attacks and surprise enemies, which was inherited by Leona. He truly was an unrivaled fighter, which was why Rein never accepted his cause of death. He was pronounced dead 7 years ago in the Elven Forest after he was sent there on a mission. A forest fire had started in the area where he and his group were. None of the bodies were found. What they found in their place was a gargantuan crater, at least a mile in diameter, and 50 feet deep. Rein's mother disappeared shortly after, abandoning her two children. One was 16 years old, and the other was 3.

"That's not true. She wanted dad to die. She knows something about his death. She just wanted the position." Rein exclaimed furiously.

"Rein!" Like roaring thunder, her voice struck loudly echoing around the room. Rein immediately stopped talking and looked over at Leona. She looked extremely sad, with wrinkles growing on her pale smooth face. Her bright yellow eyes swelling up with tears. She was 15 at the time, so she remembered it much more than he does. He knew he should not have said what he did, and apologized immediately.

"I'm sorry sis."

The silence grew over the dinner table. This was the first time Leona raised her voice at her brother. He'd always been the perfect kid, so she'd never had to yell. As she was about to apologize, she was interrupted by a loud explosion that rattled the ground and shook the house. Panicked, she immediately stood up and looked out the window. Dread grew over her when she saw men dressed in military armor attacking the town. She analyzed their attire and instantly recognized Econican armor. The crest of the horned horse. The unicorn.

Rein heard it too and immediately ran outside, unbeknownst to the danger. What he saw was horrifying. He saw his friends from the village running out of their homes towards the south gate. The buildings, ravaged by the armored men. Screams of fear and despair were heard. He took a step back into the house, terrified of what he saw. A million thoughts ran through his head at the same time. "What do they want? Why is Econica doing this? Why us? We didn't do anything." Just when he was about to go and hide, he saw his sister grabbing her sword with a stern expression.

"Sis? D-don't tell me you're going out there? It's too dangerous! You'll be killed!" He shouted with tears streaming down his face.

"Don't you think it's my duty as a 9th prestige Ranger to protect Lifah? And what happened to my awesome Spring?" She smiled at him and hopped outside the house, giving Rein no room to react.

Leona's time-hop ability grants her the power to virtually teleport anywhere possible within a certain time period. This meant that as she became faster, her skill effectiveness increased proportionally. Her Spring cooldown was based on how much time she skipped, meaning if she hopped 3 seconds, her skill would have a 3-second cooldown.

Confused as to what just happened, he ran outside and saw the most one-sided fight he'd ever witnessed. He had no idea his sister was this powerful. She effortlessly cut through the army all the while warping around them. Rein knew he had to evacuate the townspeople. Shivering with uncontrollable fear, he reluctantly grabbed his axe and rallied everyone up.

"Everyone! Grab your families and follow me! My sister can hold them off while we escape through the south gate." He screamed with his loud, high-pitched voice. Everyone gathered. Rein looked around only to see the townspeople's faces etched in fear and despair. He thought that if he could see himself, his face would look very similar. As he was scanning the townspeople, he noticed his neighbor, Mrs. Yaku, begging the men of the town.

"Please! Please! Someone save my daughter! She's still in there!" She said with a horrifying expression, tears streaming down her face.

"I-I'm sorry Mrs. Yaku, we're not going back in there. We're lucky enough to not have any casualties so far. Those men set every house on fire. If she's not out by now… I'm sorry..."

Rein's heart dropped into his stomach. Emria Yaku, the daughter of his next-door neighbor, was stuck in the village. Emria was a 6-year-old girl with green hair and a golden smile. At 4 years old Rein helped deliver her, and ever since then, he babysat her daily. They grew so close that Rein thought of her as his little sister.

Rein's fear grew exponentially greater, but he did not hesitate. He began to walk back towards the village.

"Mrs. Yaku, please take all the villagers and get out of the village. I promise I'll find Emria and make sure she's safe." He said with a stern expression.

"Please Rein… Make sure my girl's safe, and don't let your sister do anything crazy." Mrs. Yaku spoke with a gratuitous yet tormentuous tone.

As the villagers left the village one by one, Rein entered it. He was very confident he could find Emria. After hundreds of games of hide and seek, he knew her go-to spots. His only concern was her safety. Emria, like Rein, wasn't born with a Spring. When he helped deliver her, he felt responsible for her not crying when she was born, thinking he was bad luck. Because of that, he grew a connection to her, and they became extremely close. Even so, Spring or not, he believed that the girl who bested him in hide and seek dozens of times was safe. He checked around some of her usual spots, nothing. He checked around the houses, but most of them were crackling with flames. Amidst the battle, Leona noticed Rein roaming in the village.

"Rein! What are you doing? Where are the villagers?"

"Don't worry sis, they all left through the south. I'm looking for Emria, she's the only one missing. Don't worry about me though, I'll be fine!" He said, his voice trembling with fear. Suddenly, he heard a loud, reverberating scream coming from one of the burning houses. He knew who that voice belonged to immediately. Emria. Without hesitation, he ran headfirst into the burning house. He didn't care if he got burned, Emria was stuck in the burning house, scared and screaming for help. He didn't have time to hesitate. He had to save her...

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BerrySleepyLv4

The first few chapters show a problem common to new writers; their characters all sound the same. A kid would naturally use less complex words than an adult. Someone trying to intimidate sounds the same as the one they're intimidating. Another is the use of dialog as exposition. Of course you have to have exposition in the story, but they should be written as if the dialog is being said by an actual person for an actual purpose and not just obviously for exposition. A way to migitate this is to break down large exposition dialog into readable chunks, sprinkling in descriptions of what is happening in the scene. For instance, this chunk of dialog taken word for word from the chapter: "Heh, you're sharp. Sorry about this, jobs a job. You're right though. We're not Econican soldiers. We're a group called 'Checkmate'. We were hired by a group of Orthlys nobles who'd benefit from a war. < I removed some dialog here to shorten the example >" He said as he took a cigarette out and lit it. And compare it to something like this: "Heh, you're sharp.", chuckled the boy, his child-like voice in odds with the situation. "Sorry 'bout this, but jobs a job.", he shrugs dismissively. "But you're right though, we're not Econian soldiers. We ", at this he waves his arm towards his men, all much taller than him, gesturing flamboyantly, "are 'Checkmate'. A bunch of strapping young lads hired by some Orthys nobles to cause some trouble. Heck maybe even start a war or two for their benefit.", the boy drawls, taking out a cigarette from one of his pockets and taking a lazy puff. With this description, the reader can fill in the rest of the scene. How the boy stands, perhaps mockingly, facing the main characters. How his men are just standing behind him. Maybe they are at attention, obedently waiting for orders, maybe they're standing in a loose, unorganized sprawl. Are the men eager for battle, with grins on their faces as if the main characters are the only things separating them from a large payday? As the first few chapters are right now, I will not read any further. However the writing basics, like spelling, grammar, etc, are quite fine. Which is why I'm rating this as above average, not bad for a first time writer.

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