Chapter 4: The Weight of Silence

The next morning came faster than I expected. I had stayed up late, staring at the ceiling, wrestling with questions I couldn't answer. My mind kept coming back to Haruka's words, to Kaito's quiet observation. "You don't have to keep pretending." It was like a weight had been placed on my chest, one I couldn't shake off, no matter how hard I tried.

School felt like a blur. I barely registered the familiar sights—the worn-out hallways, the cluster of students clustered around their groups, the chatter that felt like it was always happening somewhere far away from me. Everyone had their roles, their places. Everyone except me. I was just a ghost in a world full of people.

I slipped into the classroom, greeted by the usual mixture of faces, some of them friendly, some of them indifferent. I gave a quick wave to Yuto and Aki, who were already in their seats at the back. But my thoughts were elsewhere. They hadn't noticed how distant I had become. I didn't know if anyone did.

The bell rang, signaling the start of class. I found my seat and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying, but the words blurred together. Ancient civilizations. Historical leaders. Politics. None of it mattered. I wasn't there, not really. My mind kept drifting back to that quiet space in the park, to the peacefulness of Haruka, sitting under the tree, untouched by the noise that consumed me.

I was starting to feel like I was living two lives. There was the version of me everyone knew—the "Kai Tanaka" who laughed at the jokes, who showed up to class and pretended to be normal. And then there was the version of me who didn't know what the hell he was doing anymore. The version that felt like an actor reading lines he didn't understand.