CHAPTER 5

The day had been strenuous,working together with Malikana was tougher than I thought.

My high levels of testosterone was part of the strain. Surprisingly enough Malikana seemed to ignore me the whole time and was actually focussing on her work.The only time she spoke to me was to ask me something important .

She left early, much to my relief as it seemed this sexual tension was only one sided.I hated this effect she had on me even without trying.

Damn it!

I packed up late since I had some proposal  I was drafting .I left the office and got into my car before driving out fast .I needed to release this sexual tension and the faster I got to Lisa the better it was for me.

The lights were on, indicating Lisa was still awake.I got out not bothering to safely park my car.I darted into my compartment using my finger print to unlock the door.

One look at Lisa ,I knew this wasn't what I was expecting to come home to.I tossed my bag on the settee and sat across her on the seat she had gestured to me.

"We need to talk Christian" she said confirming my fears and I knew Instantly that it was going to be more of her ranting and forcing me to listen, which was ironical since she's a psychologist .

"What exactly are we talking about love, " I said smoothly trying to ease up the tension building up.

"Christian I know you've been reluctant about us being parents but I really want kids.Its getting lonely for me you know, " she let out .I shifted my position as it was becoming less comfortable .I knew this topic would be soon brought up but I was hoping we could postpone it as much as we could but it seemed there was no more stalling.

Truth be told ,I didn't know why exactly I didn't want kids and saying I am was not really prepared to be a father might have sounded lame but that's was actually what it was, but I couldn't tell Lisa that.She would probably flip out and that was the worst possible outcome that i was avoiding so I settled for a more reasonable bargain.

"Lisa we are both busy people and i have experienced first hand on how parental ignorance affects a child.I don't want our kids to feel unloved just because we are both busy with our jobs, " I reasoned .The earlier arousal i had was gone .

Looking at Lisa I knew she was trying to understand things from my point of view.There was truth to my argument and she knew that , she had been my shrink.I had grown up in a rich home before my parents died ,I had everything apart from one thing, parental attention.Being the onlychild, loneliness was something i experienced .My parents were never home and I had to undergo all the phases by myself it frustrated me to a point I thought of committing suicide .Scratch that I actually attempted suicide but failed that's when they got me a shrink instead of the one thing I always wanted, their attention , to feel cared for and loved.

No amount of money was able to fill in for that,and that was something i would never wish for any child and definitely not my own child.

My Nana changed all that though ,when she took me when my parents died and she had been my saving grace for sure .

"Christian I get where you are coming from , but that won't be the case with our baby.I know you will make an incredible father .I can work from home and have sessions here.you can also work from home and go to the office only when needed.I want this Christian, " I heard the plea in her voice.Her point was valid and I didn't know how to tell her i didn't want kids at least not now.

"I am just not ready Lisa ok.When we are both ready we can have kids just not now love, " I told her finally .

I don't know what exactly it was that I said that triggered her but she went berserk after that.

" I knew it ,I fucking knew it Christian.You don't want to have kids with me, " She started crying .I moved closer to her to comfort her but she slapped me taking the board that had been next to her hitting me.

" you don't love me .You hate me.I gave you everything you insensible,self centered,ungrateful bastard.GET AWAY FROM ME, " She screamed throwing anything she could lay her hands on at me.

How this had drifted from a civilized conversation to whatever violent thing it was becoming rightnow was beyond me.

This was definitely what I was avoiding.She was now yelling and for a moment I thanked heavens my house was secluded cause i was sure if we had neighbours charges would have been pressed.

I tried calming her down but instead she threw her phone at me hitting my head.

She was now full on hysterical.

"GET OUT.GET OUT.I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE, "

If there was one thing years of marriage to Lisa had taught me , it was that when she got to this hysterical point she was always dangerous.I needed to leave before she did something she would regret like push me down the stairs .

So I picked up my car keys and left not but before something hit the back of my head. I got to my car and sat there with no idea of my next destination .

I gripped on the steering wheel and hit my head on it three times.I probably looked like a lunatic but I couldn't help it.I could still hear my wife's loud screams. I thought of going to a motel but I wasn't really a fan of motels not after an incidence that scared me in a motel once . so that was out of option.

I really didn't have friends and I couldn't go to my Nana's house either without them nagging me with the question of 'when are you having kids' or meet my brother who i have been successfully avoiding for years.

This was fucked up.

I hit my head again .I contemplated going back to Lisa but I wasn't suicidal enough for that.

I started the car driving haphazardly with no certainty.

Just then I stopped at a familiar place .The Strip club.I didn't have the will to go in, Not after what happened the last time I was here.The image of Malikana resurfaced on my mind and i couldn't just shake it.

Just when I was about to start the car again someone tapped on my window. I rolled down my window only to meet a smiling Malikana.

"I knew it was you, " she said with amusement in her voice contrary to earlier in the office when she wouldn't even look me in the eye.

"Yes it's me, " I answered slightly agitated.

"Why exactly are you here, I thought you regretted "our night" , " She said wiggling her brows suggestively while saying our night.

"None of your business, " I spat but instead she just laughed .It seemed like a habit she had made, laughing at me.

"Ok boss, " she taunted."whatever you say.

"Anyway why are you out here , Should you not be in there fucking whichever man that would pay you, " I know I was being harsh but I couldn't help it not when my body was bruising from the hits I got from Lisa and Malikana being a fucking clown.

"Well if you want to know, Its my day off today I just came to pick something, but am leaving.I could use a ride if you don't mind, " She said sweetly as ever.

"What makes you think i'd give you a ride huh?" I asked raising my eyebrows at her.

"Maybe it's the fact that you seem to be driving aimlessly without any particular destination and if the bruise on your cheek is anything to go by , then my best guess is that you had a fight with your wife and you have no where to spend the night, "

Damn.She hit the nail on the head.I didn't think she would notice the bruise on my cheek since it was dark. I guess my options were limited.

"Get in, " I said grumpily .Malikana did a small dance and I knew for sure I was going to regret this.

She entered her address on my GPS and I started the car. After covering a short distance in uncomfortable silence I decided to start a conversation, which scared me cause I wasn't one to care for chitchats. I couldn't think of any topic to bring up so I asked the one thing that had been bothering me.

"Why were you not acknowledging my presence at the office, " 

"Did you want me to?" She asked simply making me feel like an attention seeking bitch, but shame wasn't my stronghold so I pushed on.

"Maybe, "

"I thought you regretted our night and didn't want it to happen again. I was just keeping it professional you know and boy was it a struggle, it was hard enough that you were sitting across me and I wasn't able to touch you , "

I don't know why but it felt good knowing that I wasn't the only one who was feeling whatever this was.What confused me more was the fact that I didn't want her to keep it professional. Just before I could voice out my thought she spoke up

"Well we are here, just pack over there, " she said pointing towards a certain spot in the compound.

She got out of the car as she led me to her apartment.The elevator was broken so we had to take the stairs to the 4th floor.By the time we got to the apartment I was almost out of breath. I made a quick mental note to work out.

She unlocked the door and what I didn't expect was a small boy running towards malikana shouting

"Mummy mummy, ".

The kid hugged Malikana's with a toothy grin before turning to me with a frown as if I was intruding on something I shouldn't.

Malikana seemed to have noticed the boy's glare which looked more like an adorable pout than anything.

" Christian meet my son,"