90 Phrase

Lance just looks at me, eyes wide in surprise, like a deer in the headlights. I can see a million things running through his mind but he just pulls me closer to him and holds me.

"Lirael, I..." his shaky words have my heart sinking, "I will, but not right this moment. I think we should get some rest, as much as I want to."

I start to push my self away, feeling rejected in my most vulnerable state.

"No, Lirael, don't pull away from me. Please, don't run. I'm not rejecting you. I think we've had an emotional rollercoaster of a day with very little sleep. I want to, okay, baby, I do." He takes my face in his hands, sincerely staring into my reddening eyes.

He kisses me, takes one of my hands and places it on his still thick member. "See, I do. But you just told even if you cry, or say stop... I should just keep going... I can not do that." He kisses my forehead, and pulls me closer, my heart still feel dejected.

"Lirael, let's get some sleep, babe. If you wake up and still feel the same way, I will make love to you until it's time to board our flight, okay?"

His concerned eyes convey his earnest words, but my heart still stings as I nod in affirmation.

He pulls me back closer to him, and I cling to him, like a hurt needy child clings to her teddy bear.

I awake to the sound of Lance talking to someone, and the bed empty but warm next to me. I hear the door shut and Lance moving around as my foggy brain tries to remember what day it is. I stretch feeling anxious and everything comes rushing back to the forefront of my mind.

Oh dear lord...

I shove my head under the pillow, embarrassed that I begged Lance to make love to me and he ... made me sleep.

I was pretty emotionally charged, I guess he was right in making me sleep.

"Hey, beautiful. I ordered us our dinners, and we have our clothes back now too. Do you wanna eat or sleep some more?" Lance leans over me as I lay there quietly.

"I'll eat." I grumble.

"I'm sorry, what?" Lance's breathy laugh tells me my voice is muffled.

I lift the corner of the pillow and repeat, "I'll eat."

"Do you want me to feed you tidbits through that little opening you made there?" Lance's playful tone has me blowing raspberries and pulling the corner back down.

His hands start to rub my back, soothing any stiffness in my muscles, "Oh you're in a feisty mood. Maybe you should sleep a little bit longer." The mirth in his voice is not lost on me.

Why is he laughing at me? He rejected me when I was vulnerable and willing.... oh. He didn't want to take advantage of me like that...

It still hurts though. Because, I don't know if I'll get the courage to submit myself to him like that again, anytime soon.

I recoil my body from his touch, scooting to the other side of the bed. Lance scoffs and I feel him climbing into the bed with me, so I sit up and go to the bathroom. I wash my face, brush my hair and toss on a robe before coming out to eat my plate of food.

After our meal is finished, I brush my teeth and take a seat on the bed, turning the television on.

I see Lance in my peripheral, looking at me, waiting for something before his shoulders sag. He climbs into the bed with me, and takes the remote to mute the tv.

"Hey, I was watching that." I reach for the remote and he just holds it farther out of reach.

"Are you going to keep avoiding me, running from the conversation that I know, you know, needs to take place?" Lance inquires.

Lawyers, either straight to the point or tip toe through the tulips.

Internally rolling my eyes I reach for the remote, defending my avoidance, "Yes, until the end of this show, so I have something to distract myself while my thoughts come together." I grab the remote, turning the volume back on with a huff.

Lance sighs, sounding exhausted, "Fine. You could have said something instead of avoiding me like you regret saying anything." He gets up and goes to the bathroom, shutting the door between us.

I'm so fucking inconsiderate. I keep forgetting that Lance's emotions are just as important as mine. If I was in his shoes, I'd be hurt if I was being ignored.... Shit. Why do I keep doing this?

I turn off the tv and go to the bathroom door, knocking on it. "Lance, I'm sorry. I ... didn't consider... I'm ready to talk when ever you are." I go back to the bed and sit back against the head rest.

It doesn't take long, Lance comes out and takes a seat on the chair by the table. He has a blank look on his face as he stares at me and I don't know how to to start from here.

"I was not trying to hurt you by ignoring you..." I start, which he nods with pursed lips at, "I was still feeling embarrassed by being rejected earlier after making myself so vulnerable to you."

Lance cuts in, "I know, but you understand why I said we should wait?"

I nod, "Yes, so my emotions had time to readjust."

"Good, " Lance stands, asking, "Are you more level headed now then?"

I nod, watching as he approaches me. His aura is predatory as he dips his chin to look at me.

"So, now that your emotions are in line. I have a question I've been meaning to ask you." He says calmly.

He wants to know if I did mean what I said, doesn't he?

"Yes. I do." I respond, knowing he's going to ask if I still feel the same way.

He pauses, looking startled, but quickly shakes his head. "I'm sorry? How can you answer when I haven't even asked the question yet?"

Taken aback, I admit, "I thought you were going to ask if I still felt the same way about it. My apologies, please ask away."

He sighs, but a smile still shadows the corners of his lips, "First off, did you want your security system to have audio as well as video?"

I chew on my lip before asking, "Who has access to the audio?" I was not wishing for just anybody being able to hear what went on in my home.

"We can have it set up that it won't record or send the audio and video, unless you say the pass phrase. I also would need to know the pass phrase you want so we can have it put into the system."

I nod in approval, thinking of a possible pass phrase. "I need to pee." I say after giving it some thought.

Lance gives me an odd look, "Go ahead then." He gestures to the bathroom.

Snickering at him, "No, silly. That's the pass phrase. I need to pee."

Lance shakes his head, "No, it would go off too many times and alert the security company. You say it too often. How about, I need to piss? I've never heard you say it like that."

"Alright, I think I can remember that."

Lance holds out his phone and tells me to say the pass phrase several times in different ways as he records it.

"Now that we are done with that..." Lance trails off, running his eyes over my body that makes a chill shoot through my spine.

"Lirael..." He climbs on the bed and crawls up to me, making my heart beat faster.

I feel myself growing excited and my legs twitch with my nerves on edge.

"Yes?" I remain docile, quivering in place as his eyes keep me frozen in place. I knew that if I moved he would chase me and catch me.