Chapter 2

""Yna! Where the hell are we going?" Neon asked with a hint of irritation.

"We're going to the church! To our church!" I happily said. he removed his hand to mine .

"You know I can't go there. Did you forget that I am an INC?" He said. I raised my right eyebrow.

"Why? Did I said that I forgot?" I asked him "You asked us to go to your church before so you should try our church too" He just stared at me "And, once you visit our church I promised to visit yours. It's kind a bit unfair to our side that you can get us go to your church while you don't?" He sighed and nod. I smiled to his respond.

"Yey! Good thing it's still early. We made it." I pulled him when I saw our church.

I smiled while pulling him inside and noticing that. Before we could actually come inside he stopped. I looked at him in confusion. He just stare at the outside and inside of the church. There's some old lady who is kneeling and praying the novena. He then, stared at the kids and teens holding some papers and facing the microphone. The side of it is the guitar and the piano.

"Hey! Let's go! " He looked at me and he sighed and walked with me straight to the front near the choir.

I smiled when I noticed no one from the choir members saw me. I then looked at Neon at I smirked even more when he looked at our saint in the sides of the church. While he stares at the pictures and the statues I looked at the surrounding. Our church is small, but even so I'm proud since it has so many valuable memories in here. It has a wonderful colour combination which is white, green and yellow. The statues of Mother Mary, the Holy Family, the Crucifixion of Jesus and San Pedro. Pictures of the mysteries in the rosary. It's truly amazing that this church has made me know the Lord even more.

"Yna, I would like to asked you something." I looked at Neon when he spoke. I smiled and waited his question. "Why did you asked me to accompany you?" I nod and smiled.

"Is it bad to asked you ? I mean, I missed you! Then, I feel you're so distant and cold. You're not like that before" He smiled and shook his head

"So, I'm you're kuya again? He said with a smile in the smile and I nod. I was about to say something but the bell ring indicating that the mass is about to begin. So, I stand up and he follows what I did.

~~

I secretly smile whenever I looked at Neon. I noticed how tense he is causing me to chuckle a little. I felt a little bad about laughing at him so I move a little closer to him and tap his shoulder. He looked at me with confusion in his face.

"You're too tense Kuya. Just Chill." I laughed that causing me to receive death glares from him. So I looked at the front before he could kill me.

~~

The mass ended and all I did is making fun of Neon causing me to receive playful strangle from him.

"Kuya! Stooop! Hahaha" I laughed trying to break free

"You're at the church and you're so turbulent! Are you always like this, when going to church?" He asked acting like he is mad.

"Belle!" I looked at the person who called me and I smiled when I saw my choir mates.

"Hi Ate Mika!" I waved at her. I felt Neon's presence near my ear.

"Belle? Seriously?" I was shocked of what he said. Shoot! I remember I create that name because of him. Ynabelle is actually my full name. I forcedly smile at him.

"Who is he?" Ate Mika asked after she came in front of us staring at Neon. I smiled at her and I fixed my hair a little. Ate Mika is our Church leader. She's in charge with everything in the church like activities and events.

"Ate this is Kuya Neon my friend" I smiled at her but it seems that she don't believe at me. Neon coughs so I looked at him.

"Ex" My eyes grew wide because of what he said and punch him.

"Aaaargh!" I punched him again and again because of irritation while he just laughing hard.

"Ow! You two are ex" Ate Mika just scratch her head "But if I know some of the exes that became friends one of them are still in love" that's when I laughed. Impossible!

"Ate, that's impossible! Hahaha" She just shrug her shoulder and smirk.

"Well, you might get back again hahaha" She laughed and so as Neon. Seriously!?

"Hahaha It might? What do you think Hon?" He smirked. I glared at him and smirked as an evil plan came up to me.

"Why not hon?" I said softly and I put my both hands in his nape. "I mean, we could work things out again right? You, me together"

Neon's shocked by my sudden move. So I smirk even more. "You still love me, right? Right Hon?" I softly said. He smiled at me.

"What if I say yes? Is it still possible?" My flirty side vanished when I realized that he is serious. I looked at ate Mika and smiled.

"Well I got to go back, I might disturbed you two hahaha. And I will remind you that the next practice will be next week. I want you to be there we'll have a new song to practice on for the semana santa" I smiled and raise a thumbs up. After Ate Mika left I punch Neon again.

"Why?" Neon smirked while asking. I glared at him.

"What's you're deal? Why do you even say that we are even ex?!" I asked with the most rage in my voice. He stopped laughing.

"Why? Have you ever said that I am not allowed to tell anyone?" I bit my lower lip and sigh. I pulled him and I sat him down to the nearest bench in the church while I still stand in front of him.

"Neon, why? What happened to you?" I tiredly asked

"Yna, I still love you." He said staring at my eyes. He said it with seriousness in his eyes. My forehead crease when he said those words.

"Why me?" I asked him and so I sat down on the chair in his back and facing the other side. I am so stressed!

"What do you mean why?"

"Why still me?" I looked at the sky "Why me? Why are you like that?" He laughed sofly.

"I know you don't love me anymore haha. Sorry for mentioning again" He's about to stand up when I speak.

"Please Neon, I can't understand you" I raised my knee and hugged it. I wonder why we are here in this kind of situation. "I mean, I hurt you. I let go. Why still me if I tricked you after the break up?"

"Okay" He walked away when I looked at him.

"Please Neon! Answer me please! I'm confused. So Confused!"

"I'll going to play online game haha. Sorry to bother you. Don't mind it" He continues to walk away. I am so pissed! It's making me so dumb!

"Come on Neon! You're not funny!" I stand up and my voice rose up. I was lucky no one is around. He faced me and smiled.

"Why? I'm just fine here. You're not having fun right? That's why I said don' mind it anymore" He said while he scratches his head. I bit my lips because of irritation. Shit! I'm not used to saying bad words but this is Bullshit.

"Can you answer my question? Because that's the part that I am pissed! Because I heard it! You think I'll never think about it?! Ha?!" Just a little closer and I will burst.

"Oh! You're mad. Chill, Relax" I closed my eyes and sigh. I then, sat down.

"I'm not mad. I'm confused. You know why? Here you are telling me you still love me. Then when I asked why you just leave it that way. You're so confusing." I am truly confused. I'm still hurt. I felt like I am just being played.

"I do love you" He walked closely and kneels in front of me.

"But why now?" He smiled and hold my hand.

"Why is it against any rule?" He said still looking at my hand "I honestly don't know. Maybe because I understand why you decided to broke up with me. And I have my own part of mistakes too." Then he looked directly to my eyes.

"I thought, it's not me anymore. You even found someone else. That's why I'm confused." I smile sadly. To be honest I'm a little bitter about what happened. After two months he found someone new. He don't even try to fight again.

"To get over you a little faster" He then put my hands in his face and slowly rubbing my hands to his face.

"So, meaning to say. You used Kari?" I removed my hand while my forehead creases.

"No. I did love her. There's something that I hate about her and it's for her own good" He stand up and sat beside me.

"I don't know if I will believe you. I waited long enough" I shook my head as I said those words. Then, I faced him. "But we can at least be friends, right? Like Kuya, Bunso relationship?"

"You're choice" he said as he looked away "But what if it wasn't that long?"

"Maybe I'll take the risk. If only you tried to stop me. If only you tried to ask me. If only you tried to talk to them. Maybe it will work out. If only I'm strong enough. If only I am brave enough. Maybe things are different right now. Maybe we are way stronger than Marc and Shaina" I looked down. I raised my knee and hugged it again. Yes, I still love him. Yes, I do care for him. The fact that I greet him every birthdays, always remember all the good things he did and to try communicate with him every time I have chances. I have a lot of regrets in our relationship. That I wish I was stronger. Stronger enough to stand up and fight back. But he didn't do anything to fight back that time. I didn't required that the fight must have guns, knives, bombs and any kind of destructive to win. All it requires is you and me against families, and religions.

I'm jealous at Marc and Shaina. They are already 2 years and still counting. I admire how strong their love is. Marc fought and gave his all for his love for Shaina. Even if it cause physical pain given by Shaina's relatives. I admire how their love passed all the circumstances that they face. If only we are as strong as them. I saw it in their graduation. Meeting him and talk as if we are just friends really gives me shits. I wanted to give my gift for him as his request. But I contemplated. I felt like I might give him wrong idea. He might assume and get hurt. He might think that until now I still have a thing for him.

"What a waste" He bitterly smiled. He stands up and shows his hand in front of me "Let's go home" I smiled sadly and accept his hands to stand.

~~

We silently walked our way home. I saw the intersection wherein we will separate our ways.

"Neon?" I broke the silence.

"hmm?"

"Is what you said all true?" I asked as I stared down.

"What do you mean? All of it?" He asked and I nod

"Yes" I stopped walking and stare at him which makes him stop and looked at me confusedly. We're in the intersection. I heave a sigh.

"Is it possible that you don't choose me?" his confuse face turn to cold face. I didn't change my expression but deep inside I'm scared with that kind of expression.

"Yeah, it's okay" He turns around and walked away. The pain became visible because of his answer and causing my eyes to sting as the tear fell from my right eye. I then turn around and walked away with a silent cry.

If only you asked me why. If only, you tried a little harder. If only. If only you really want me to be with you. If only you really care. If only, you love me enough to fight your love. Ever since the day of circumstances begun, you never tried. You never knew it was all a test. To test us both for the love we thought are mutual.

If only you did love me not because I'm you're only option but because I am what you really wanted.