On Getting Back… 4

It would seem Otto and Noelle has been waiting close by Sawyer's room for the day he would return. Two weeks and neither one of them had heard from him. They were at his door and knocking the day he arrived. Noelle, was a little unsure they should be coming to see him so quickly. Otto was of the opposite opinion. Although none of them really expected him to open his door, he did.

He held the door open, standing there, looking at them while they stared in surprise with wide eyes. "Wade." Noelle spoke first. Moving past Otto and for the first time ever, she hugged Sawyer and for the first time ever; he hugged her. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," Otto stepped forward and placed his hand on Sawyer's shoulder. "So sorry." He wished he could do more, say something to make it all go away. Sorry just wasn't enough. Noelle drew back, giving Otto the space to hug his friend. It still wasn't enough. It just wasn't. He stepped back and shared a look with Noelle. She was thinking the exact same thing.

"How did you know?"

"I follow your brother on Instagram. And I saw..." Otto trailed of. "I went looking for you but Noelle said she saw you leave. It wasn't until much later that we knew why."

"My dad came to get me. Thanks guys."

They both nodded. They'd agreed not to ask. To wait until maybe he told them- "We want to know what happened." Noelle confessed. "We do. But we agreed to wait until you want to talk about it so, you don't have to say anything. We're here if you want to talk about it. Or not. We're here for you as always."

He nodded and smiled. A smile he saw break their hearts when he made it. Too late now. "Thank you."

"You need help unpacking?" Otto asked.

"Or we could leave." Noelle thought to mention.

"No." He cleared his throat. "Stay. Tell me what I missed." He stepped aside for them to enter. "I didn't leave with anything but my laptop so. I've got nothing to unpack. Tell me what I missed." He closed the door.

"Laura came looking for you." Noelle offered the information. "She said she called a few time."

"You're going to have to call her." Otto suggested.

"Did you tell her?" Sawyer's question was to Noelle. Otto doesn't know Laura yet.

She shook her head. "I thought you would want to." She but her bottom lip. "I mean it's not my information to give out."

"What else?" Sawyer asked, needing the distraction.

They spent the entire day with him. Neither one wanting to leave him alone. Noelle slept off on his bed beside him and Otto on his desk chair. Sawyer appreciated their effort. They weren't trying to cheer him up, they were just there. He looked from Noelle to Otto and sighed. He would have called Peggy today. To let her know he was safe in school and that would have begun the three day rule. A rule he can no longer keep. The thought of not being able to hear her voice again. He heard her laugh in his head. Could he ever laugh again? Could he ever be happy? He would have called his mother right off the plane to let her know he's arrived. And she would have asked him once more if he forgot anything which- He buried his face in his open palms. Why did this happen to them?

School was supposed to be better for him. It was in many ways. Except for waking up every morning only to remember a minute later and having his heart and body shatter on the spot. It drained him completely, he could barely leave his bed when that happened, and even more so, he found himself unable to leave his room. The same thought that came to him the day of the funeral after opening the front door attacked him every time. He also found himself locking his friends out of his room and just not looking at his phone. When he did go out of his room, it took courage to leave the building. Seeing everyone doing something or going somewhere made him angry. Ignoring them took strength. The same strength he used to keep his friends away most times.

Three weeks passed, his feelings hadn't changed, his friends barely saw him and Laura was not even a thought to him. Weekend came around and there was a knock on the door. He chose to ignore it like every other time before. Then it turned into banging, "Sawyer!" His father's voice. It made his heart skip a beat. What could be wrong now? For a moment he dreaded opening the door. "Sawyer!" More banging.

He rushed to it. "Is everything ok-"

"Are you okay? Trevor's voice swallowed up Sawyer's. He assessed his son. He looked worse than ever. Messy hair, slimmer, beard and sunken eyes. In nothing but shorts. It was a good thing he came with a plan.

"I-"

"I've been calling you. Tom's been calling you. No ones heard from you in weeks. You just left and not a word. Do you know how terrifying that it?"

"I-" he had no words. He was relieved nothing was wrong, his face just didn't express it.

"Pull yourself together" Travis said as he entered the room. "We're going out." Curtains shut , not a single ray of sunshine in the room, the air in the room pungent with a smell he couldn't place or want to, clothes and shoes scattered everywhere.

He rubbed his eyes. "I don't feel like going out."

"You have to. Get dressed and shave at least."

Sawyer obeyed. Wearing sunglasses to keep the sun out of his eyes until he got into the car his father had ridden in. The driver took them to a building twenty minutes away from the school. Sawyer had question. His father hasn't really been here so how did he know of this place? Where ever this is. He chose not to ask. In no mood to feed his curiosity. A state of mind he felt had disappeared completely.

He followed his dad out the car and into the building. Five minutes later, they were walking into an open office door where a man was standing, clearly waiting for them with a smile on his face. "Good afternoon Mister Wade. You're right on time." The man stretched out his hand, Travis smiled and shook it. "And you must be Sawyer Wade. Nice to meet you. He moved his hand to Sawyer. "I'm Richard Coost. Call me Richard."

Truly, Sawyer still wasn't curious. He didn't even want to know what the man's name was. Suddenly he felt strange.

Richard looked at Travis. "Sit." he gestured to a two sitter beside them.

Travis turned to Sawyer. "I should have told you in the car" He started. Sawyer faced him. "You look like you barely sleep, or go out. And I understand why. I've brought you here to see-" was there a good way to put this? "Therapy. Richard here is a therapist."

Now Sawyer understood. "Okay." Sawyer sat down. Would it be a bad thing to see one?

Travis sat as well. "I'm not here with you and Tom is alone back there going to school and work takes me away a lot."

For his father's sake. He nodded.

Richard finally sat. "Your father told me you lost your mother and sister."

Sawyer didn't speak. He couldn't bring himself to nod. He realized then that he hadn't said it to anyone. He was supposed to tell Laura but he didn't. He hasn't even seen her and Noelle and Otto found out on their own. What would it mean if he says yes or nods right now?

"Yes." Travis answered.

Richard nodded. "Sawyer?" They both looked at Sawyer. Waiting for an answer that never came. Then Richard said. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Travis didn't know what else to do. Especially since the boy was not communicating with anyone. He could only hope this would help. At least Sawyer was okay with it. Tom was a different story.

On the way back, neither one of them said a word. Not until Sawyer was back in school. When the car stopped, Sawyer faced his father, hand at the ready to open the door. "I'm doing this for you." He admitted and got out without waiting to hear any form of reply from his father.

Sawyer stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked away from the car. He knew the car was still there. It didn't really matter. It was possible his father just wanted to make sure he got into the building before he left.

Noelle, spotted him from afar and jogged up to him. There was a chance he would walk much faster if he knew she was coming. After all, he hasn't made contact with any of them in weeks. As she's suddenly planned, he didn't notice her till she was close enough. Mission accomplished. "Hi." She said, falling into step beside him. He didn't say a word. "We've been worried about you. I'm glad you're okay."

"What do you want Noelle?"

Full name, no games. "To check up on you. You're shutting yourself up. You're not going to class."

"Are you going to tell me something I don't know."

She grabbed his arm and stopped him. "You have to try Sawyer. Your-"

He faced her with a scowl so deep it could give nightmares. "If you say my mother wouldn't want me doing this you will hate the next words that come out of my mouth. I have a right to mourn her."

"I know. It's just-" his eyes screamed 'what'. Her mouth was suddenly dry, a shiver ran through her. He'd never been like this before. "We're here for you. And worried about you." She forced the words she meant out of her mouth.

He ran his hand through his hair, sighed and walked away.