36 Descent into madness

The sun showed no mercy on Allen and Phill as they made their way down the endless road.

Allen had a strong physique, and Agent Coulson had been trained for many years, but after hours of pedaling a bicycle, even the toughest men ended up exhausted.

"Fuck me!" Coulson had long discarded his jacket, cursing as he then grabbed his favorite tie and threw it away too.

Allen wore only a shirt, but he ended up unbuttoning several buttons. "Haa... stupid heat"

– UwU

– I've taken ten high-definition screenshots ❤️~

– My mom took away my computer to watch Allen sweating... and then kicked me out of the room. I'm on my phone :(

– Tell your dad about this, and I'll ground you until New Year's.

– Mama!

– This makes no sense. when I sweat like a dog it's just gross, but Allen looks even more handsome!!

Allen cursed his viewers. Did they think he cared how they looked right now?!. Allen had a hundred ways to get out of here. He had vehicles and abilities, but none of that mattered. In the end, he hadn't cheated; he had committed to respecting the poll's result and was going to bike to Puente Antiguo, come what may.

"Content creation is harder than people think," Allen murmured.

Allen could see an optical effect on the pavement indicating the intense heat. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked at his lackey pedaling while gasping for breath.

"Kowalski, report on progress!" said Allen.

"Huh?! who's Kowalski?!" Coulson growled but answered, "I see an endless road ahead... To the right, we have absolutely nothing, and to the left, mountains and rocks!."

"Damn it! Stupid magical hammer couldn't have fallen in Los Angeles?!" Allen vented his frustration. Then, he stopped pedaling for a moment. "Phill, at this rate, we'll never make it, but I have a solution."

Phill Coulson smiled kindly, got off the bike, straightened his shirt, then approached Allen and grabbed him by the collar. "Listen, you brat!, you've played enough! Just fly and get me out of here!"

Phill knew Allen had fought from Earth to space against Doomsday; it was just ridiculous to see him in this state.

"Wait, Phill..." Allen narrowed his eyes for a moment and grabbed Phill by the collar too. "Do you think I'm enjoying this?! I barely leave my damn house! Do you think I want to be in a damn desert smelling the sweat of a middle-aged man?!"

"Then get us out of here, you white-haired Superman!!"

Allen remained silent and released Phill. "I can't do that. Part of it might be foolish, but by dedicating myself to content creation, I've made a self-imposed commitment. Nothing is forcing me to keep my word, but that's precisely why I can't break it so easily. If there comes a time when you're truly in danger, I'll get you out of here... but before that, allow me this selfish desire."

Coulson didn't immediately respond, but within his eyes, the light with which he looked at Allen changed. "I always thought people like you were just youngsters looking to have fun, and this was the easy way to do it."

"Maybe there are people like that," Allen smiled, "but I'm a professional content creator... I'm serious."

– I think I just fell in love with a man... Holy shit!.

– There goes my heterosexuality D:

– I thought Allen couldn't be more dangerous, but I was wrong... he went from a beautiful boy to a beautiful man... I need tissues; my nose is bleeding.

– I'm his Simp forever, and I don't care.

Allen paid no attention to the commotion he caused and thought about something. "Maybe... I can help you regain all your energy, Phill." Allen smiled, and a mysterious black bottle appeared in his hand.

"I'm in the damn desert! Do you think I want to drink alcohol?!" Coulson hit his forehead in despair.

"Fool! The bottled miracle isn't alcohol! It's a magical elixir!... I think."

"I think?" Coulson momentarily had hope but immediately felt deflated.

[Bottled Miracle - Blue Grade: This bottle contains refined luck turned into liquid by a divine being. It is said that whoever drinks from this will obtain a miracle - warning: should not be consumed more than once per day.]

Allen smiled confidently. He didn't plan to cheat directly, but if, by pure coincidence, a princess in underwear appeared with a helicopter wanting to take him to Puente Antiguo while feeding him grapes, it wouldn't be cheating.

While Allen's creator's pride prevented him from cheating, he wasn't an idiot to stay in the desert any longer.

Coulson just wanted to punch Allen; it was clear he could get them out of this situation without any issues, but he refused. It's not that Phill didn't understand; he had his commitment and convictions too.

Coulson snatched the bottle from Allen's hands and opened it. The sweet, refreshing aroma was like a spring breeze mixed with all the delicious drinks in the world.

– That looks good, but it gives me a bad feeling.

Natasha – Allen, don't drink strange things.

– *Burp* Bastard!! How dare you drink that without me!!

"What?!" Coulson was mesmerized and was about to drink the entire bottle, but Allen interrupted him.

"Just one drink Phill or you might regret it..." Allen said seriously, but he also didn't stop looking at the crystalline liquid in the bottle.

Allen took out a couple of glasses that he obtained from the gray chests and served them both. The liquid was definitely not normal as it released small sparkles and there seemed to be a magical mist surrounding the glass.

Coulson, being a Shield agent, might have been wary of the drink, but in this state of dehydration and fatigue he didn't care. Fury who was watching the live-stream from the Shield helicarrier cursed Coulson for being unprofessional.

Coulson and Allen drank all the contents of their glasses, and the divine nectar flowed down their throats.

...

"Where am I?!"

Allen woke up in the middle of the desert, but this desert was of sand and not of rocks and dry ground like in New Mexico. All he could see were distant white dunes.

"System?..." Allen touched his head in surprise; even his system didn't respond to his call. He also tried to activate his abilities, but they didn't work either.

"Am I screwed?" Allen chuckled ironically; he had survived Doomsday and was now dying because of drinking from a strange bottle. How ridiculous would that be?

However, the system's description said it was safe and couldn't be wrong. Allen shook off all his thoughts and didn't know what to believe, so he just started walking.

...

For fifteen minutes, Allen tried to find something, but there was nothing, no one. During that time, Allen realized the desert sun wasn't hot.

Allen looked at the sun, and it didn't hurt his eyes either. "Another inconsistency... what is this?"

"A dream, yes," someone said from behind.

Allen turned around, eyes wide in shock. "Wtf Jack Sparrow?!"

There was a man dressed as a pirate with eyeliner, a swindler's look, and a criminal's smile.

"Captain Jack Sparrow at your service!" Jack bowed while removing his hat.

"Are you real?!" Allen had met characters that turned out to be real, but it could also be Johnny Depp.

Jack smiled while pointing at Allen. "Depends on what you consider real. Technically, I'm in your hallucination." Jack took out a bottle from his clothes. "But I'm also the creator of the Bottled Miracle!"

"Wait, are you a god?!" The system's description said a divine being had made that bottle "Since when?! And why did your drink do this to me?!"

"Ugh, calm down." Jack winked at Allen while swaying as if drunk. "First, it's a long story, and I'm too drunk to remember half of it now. But technically, I became a god. As for why my miraculous rum affected you this way, it's because you're a mortal and couldn't assimilate my divine nectar, heh."

"That last one sounded unpleasant..." Allen sighed and cursed internally.

"The second reason was because you drank too much. After that first drink, you finished the whole bottle, and your friend Phill couldn't resist a single glass, hahaha," Jack chuckled heartily. "But don't worry, you'll regain consciousness very soon."

"Fine..." Allen observed Jack expressionlessly. Allen had a god or something like that in front of him, but he had no particular questions.

"Heh... that's right..." Jack gestured between smiles and discomfort. "Humans should have millions of questions when they meet a god."

"Perhaps, but I'm not one of them..."

"..."

Both looked at each other in silence, unsure of what else to say.

...

Since he had nothing to do, Allen took out a table and cards to play poker with Jack while waiting for the hallucination to end.

"So, you left piracy to become a god? That doesn't make sense." Allen drew a card from the table.

Jack scratched his chin, contemplating his next move. "Fold. Well, in my world, there was the Fountain of Youth, a perverted octopus that harassed me, a ghost that wandered everywhere, ships stored in Christmas ornaments, and the underworld. Is it a surprise that the nectar of the gods exists?"

"I'll pay; well, it makes sense. I was a regular guy a week ago, and now look at me, playing cards with a god."

"Hahaha... ha," Jack laughed slyly. "Allen Walker wasn't a normal person before or now."

Allen halted his movements. "Again with that, are you going to tell me I was the immortal emperor in my past life?"

Jack looked around and leaned in towards Allen as if sharing a secret. "You were a guy full of debts and bad luck before and now, hahaha!" Jack revealed his hand. "Full House! Take that!"

"Ugh, Bastard, that was a low blow!" Allen cursed but then smiled arrogantly. "But it's not enough to affect me. Royal Flush."

"Wtf!" Jack looked at Allen's hand incredulously.

"Sorry, I win!"

Jack pounded the table. "You cowardly clown, that's not possible!"

Allen grabbed Jack by the collar. "Ah?! How can you claim I cheated, you filthy pirate?!"

"Because you couldn't win since I cheated too!!.... uh"

"You're despicable, Jack Sparrow." With a look of disdain, Allen let him go.

Jack adjusted his clothes. "Captain Jack Sparrow, and thank you, I try not to forget old habits."

Allen didn't want to talk anymore, and at that moment, he began to disappear.

"Huh?!"

"Don't worry, you're just coming back... it's normal." Jack pulled out a bottle of the Bottled Miracle and downed it. "It was fun, even though you were a brat."

"I wish I could say the same, but you only made me lose faith in the image of a god," said Allen, arms crossed.

"And you'll be even more disappointed..." Jack shrugged. "You're welcome, Allen."

"..."

===

Allen opened his eyes as a series of notifications appeared in front of him. They were concerned messages from his girlfriends and viewers.

[Host, are you okay?!]

"Yes, but my head hurts. How long was I unconscious?"

[It was only five minutes, but you made everyone worried. This shouldn't have happened.]

"Don't worry... it was my fault for drinking the entire bottle."

Allen looked at the multitude of messages and began to reassure everyone, especially Natasha, Gwen, and Mary Jane.

Then Allen looked around for Coulson. It didn't take long for him to find the naked man dancing the rain dance on top of a rock.

"Phill?"

"I've seen the light! I made love to the clouds and danced at the end of the world!" The hallucinating man had a wild look in his eyes. Then he grabbed a scorpion and ate it.

"This is my sacrifice to the heavens!"

The stream was censored, of course, but for Allen, it was uncensored. He witnessed firsthand and in high definition Phill's descent into madness.

– What the heck was in that drink?!

– Damn, it must have been a cocktail with all the drugs in the world! XD

– I want some of that shit Bro!

– *Burp*, darn stingy bastards, I should be there.

– Why haven't they banned you, kid?

In the end, after laughter and complaints, Playboy asked something logical. This kind of content must have crossed the limits. However, it's not that they didn't want to, they couldn't.

In the central offices of YT and Twitch, they were going crazy because someone had almost broadcasted someone taking rare drugs and a naked man. But fortunately, Phillip Coulson was censored.

"Someone block that livestream!!"

"Sorry boss, we can't, I think we were hacked."

"I pay you millions a year to prevent these things!!"

The boss sighed in relief when he saw the censored screen but still felt nervous about possible lawsuits against his platform.

"Can their mutant powers do this?!"

Allen grabbed and slapped Coulson. "Get a grip, you're losing your mind!"

Phillip Coulson, far from regaining control, began to speak in different languages while screaming like the girl from The Exorcist.

Allen turned off the stream cameras and took out the neuralyzer and some dark glasses.

...

The image returned, and there was Phill dressed in his suit, fixing his hair. "I apologize for losing control," the man declared with chivalry.

"Don't worry, Phill," Allen sighed, relieved that he could bring Phill back from madness.

Allen addressed his viewers. "I think it's time to...!!!"

...

At that moment, Allen moved at high speed, grabbed Phill, and moved away. Shortly after, something heavy fell where he was.

Amid the dust appeared something huge and green, a giant humanoid beast.

"Impossible, Doctor Banner shouldn't be here!" said Phill.

Hulk's muscles began to grow as bright veins bulged from his body, and a strange green aura emanated from him. Allen felt the hairs on his body stand on end.

GAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

With a fierce roar, the giant charged at Allen.

He enveloped Phill in a shield with Crown Clown and threw him away.

Allen felt maximum-level chills, he didn't have time to think, he simply reacted on instinct and began activating all the trump cards he had.

A purple aura enveloped him as Allen's eyes changed.

A green aura surrounded Hulk as his muscles became more defined.

Before the terrified eyes of over a hundred thousand viewers, the air solidified between Hulk and Allen as their eyes met, and for a moment, the whole world trembled, quite literally.

Nick Fury watched this with horror. "Commander Hill, log this, at noon, local time, New Mexico, Hulk Worldbreaker and Omega Walker made contact!."