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I reincarnated into a cow

I'M A REAL MAN! Real note here: This series doesn't have a giga brain mc or anything like that and they will be smart, but at the same times fairly dumb too. The MC will basically be unable to keep a train of solid thought hence his stupidity. Second thing, reason why being^^ something something cow. Something something past life problems and head trauma equals something something something.

ZeOwl · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
28 Chs

FOR THE CHAIRS!

There was officially no more chairs. The Kobolds stole them all however at the same time I had figured out how the little bastards hide so well. They all had the skill nocturnal, which didn't actually make them nocturnal. Instead making them more adept at other skills during the dark, thus things like vision, stealth and even digging better in the dark.

However this skill was a double edged sword, the more light they were bathed in the less effective their skills were. It was basically like being a vampire but without the getting lit on fire. So ironically trapping all the kobolds near the fire pit they couldn't actually escape or be released.

As luck would have it, the goblins found magnesium while collecting clay. At first they didn't know what it was and didn't mention it. However Gnar had informed me me about it. Which combined with the nocturnal skill knowledge. I knew my science and with a little work I created a the perfect weapon for these kobolds.

I carried a basket filled with magnesium on my back as I marched my way over to the Kobolds pit. On the way there were some kobolds which tried to attack. They were fast, but not really difficult. They would do well in a siege or coordination, but since the ones I found were just scouting around they mostly just tried to run. So I supplanted them into the ground.

I had made a small mechanism to lit the magnesium on the way down. So triggering it I looked away as the magnesium fell. That shit was brighter than the sun as it fell. I couldn't help, but begin to laugh as I saw the blinding light fill the pit. It was a little maniacal, but these kobolds deserve it since they stole all my fucking chairs.

I paused my laughter when I saw the light disappear. The thing didn't just fade, it just ended. With how much magnesium I put in that basket it shouldn't have been able to die off or be put out. Except they definitely put it out some how. Looking down into the pit I saw a kobold standing over the basket.

They turned their gaze to me and our eyes met. It was the Kobold's Queen, I could jump down, but... I wouldn't get out. "You! Why won't you give up!"

Staring back after hearing the Queen's words I didn't understand at all. "Me? You are the one who started this! You stole our stuff!"

The Queen small red scaly paw thing pointed at me, "YOU STOLE FROM US FIRST! Our foods, than our lands! You are the one in the wrong!"

I pointed back, "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN!"

She stomped her feet before my eyes could widen slightly two jets of fire launched her into the air and towards me. It seemed she might be a fire mage or something? I don't know nor do I care. When she got close I batted her into a tree.

"You dishonorable swine!"

I laughed, "How ironic coming from a Kobold!"

She pointed again, "Fuck you!"

She lit up like a torch and fire covered her entire body. So no she was not a fire mage or something. I dodged out of the way rolling away from the trees and the pit. Fire would be a problem for me. Ripping earth from the ground I whipped it at the Kobold hitting her in the face.

She tumbled backwards however her recovery was flawless! She sprinted towards me must faster and so I kicked backwards nearly hitting her in the head if she didn't duck. With her still on fire though I rolled back with a somersault. Using one of my skills I roared out and the Queen covered her ears and her fire flickered away.

The skill Beast Roar interrupts other skills for a second. From the reaction the Kobold Queen had I knew she was similar to my level and her fire was indeed a skill. Which meant she was either some evolution or a variant. My guess was variant due to her looks being only a different color compared to the greens and blues of normal kobolds. Unlike Taurens Kobolds changed significantly when evolving much like goblins and other smaller species of monsters.

I dashed forward and slung her against another tree. With a thud she wheezed, "Yo-You bastard!"

"Surrender!"

She jumped up and clapped to create a fireball. The fireball wasn't a true one because it was made from dirt so I just punched it back. It had rebounded into her face. Monsters really had no concept of fighting it was just power vs power. Grabbing a sapling and ripped it out of the ground I slapped it into her face. Eventually the sapling lit on fire and started to spread so I threw it into the pit.

"Would you stop!"

I stuck my tongue out, "Stop what you are the one who started all this."

She stomped again before running towards me screaming. I rolled my eyes and aimed my horns down pointing straight at her. She realized her mistake a little to late as U flicked my head sending her flying once again. At this point the small kobold queen was panting and looked exhausted.

"I have to ask, why aren't you fighting with any other kobolds? Is it because you are a variant?"

Her eyes widened and she stumbled back tripping over herself. "You know nothing! My rule is completely stable and I can easily defeat you alone!"

I blinked, and I sighed. That explained it, theses little kobold fucks. "You lost your original queen didn't you? this whole thing is just to make you seem just in taking over after her."

The kobold twitched slightly before picking up more dirt and trying to create another fireball. However now that I had an idea of why they were throwing fits. It explained why they didn't technically use violence. They knew we wouldn't kill any of them if captured thus they had no need to fight us. Only annoy and if they could get us to leave. They would've 'conquered the land'.

It was fairly simple plan to establish this girl as the new ruler, she had the physical power above the others thus she had to establish now the metaphorical power that shows she had what it takes. I sighed this just felt terrible to me now.

Grabbing her yet again I held her just above the pit. "You are out of energy to fight your exhausted and can barely lit a fire ball let alone yourself. If I drop you, you can't make those pillars and you will die. Wanna talk?"

She swallowed hard, "Wh-Talk about what?"

Staring down the hole I could see many kobolds looking out from cracks and small holes. I looked to the one in my hand. "What's your name for starters?"

"Name! Oh I would not be so ferocious!"

I raised and eyebrow and the kobold swallowed, "Only the queen has a name and only the queen can give names."

"Shouldn't there be named Kobolds though?"

"T-They all, They all were taken..." Her voice sounded hollow and sad.

I sighed, "By who?"

"I-I don't know! They were in robes and suppressed us all with their aura. They just stormed in without us even noticing! It was almost like they were monsters themselves like us kobolds!"

My eyes widened and then closed, Monster cultists. That was certainly interesting. Before I pulled her back however, "So then what are you gonna do when I pull you back."

The Red Scales of the Kobold grew Red and she looked in shame. "G-Give... I will give back the chairs and tell everyone to stop bother you.... I am sorry."

I raised an eyebrow and shook my head. "That's not right, you don't have a leader now do you? And you aren't in a position to lead your camp now are you? After all, what are you gonna do about those orcs?"

Her face grew redder, and she looked toward the pit. The blood was rushing to her head and she was growing dizzy. One might have thought it was embarrassment, and sure it might be a little shame and humiliation. However for this little Kobold it was possible doom.

This time there was no hesitation and she spoke quickly and loudly. "You are right, you can be leader! The orcs were planning on betraying us anyway. I don't want the chance to be raped by orc slaves! PLEASE JUST PULL ME BACK!"

That was a little more than I wanted, but sure. Pulling her away from the pit I dropped her on the floor. "Your name is now HM Pet."

"Wha-?"

I nodded at the perfect name an HM slave she was indeed. I called her HM Pet though because I didn't want her to be treated like a slave. A Pet would be better in terms of treatment. Speaking of slaves...

"Those Orc slaves bring me them."

She rubbed her hands together, "Are you really giving me a name?"

I raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Why not, I mean if you are gonna join me at my camp I can't just refer to you as Kobold. My name is Akira by the way."

She nodded, "I will take it to heart, M-M Sir!" She still looked a little red, I shrugged it off her oddities weren't my problem.

She asked, "Why do you want those slaves? Do you want them now or later?"

I was gonna kill them and eat their monster cores, but I wasn't gonna say that. So I just answered her second question. "Now."

She nodded and ran off toward a tree that I realized was actually hollow and connected to the pit. Now the question was how were the orcs gonna leave the pit?