Chapter 2: System? No Thanks, I’d Rather Sulk in the Corner

You ever wake up one day and realize that your life has gone from zero to complete chaos in, like, two minutes flat? No? Just me? Cool.

So there I am, standing in the middle of Riser Phoenix's wedding, facing down Issei Hyoudou, the one guy who wants to tear my (Riser's) face off, and all I can think is, why?

Not "why am I here?" or "why did I get reincarnated as the worst guy in the anime?" No. I'm on a deeper level. Like, why the universe decided to completely dunk on me today. And while all of this is happening, something… clicks in my head.

A cheery little voice pops up out of nowhere. "Hello, host! Your Sign-In System has been activated!"

Oh. Great. Now the system wants to show up. Perfect timing.

But do I care? Nope. I don't care. I'm standing in front of an anime harem protagonist with enough power to wipe me out, and the system decides now's the time to be useful? Fantastic.

"Host! I can help you improve your abilities and even grant you powerful weapons to—"

"Nope," I mutter, my voice barely above a whisper. I'm done. I've checked out.

Before I know it, I'm stepping back. Slowly. Away from Issei, away from Rias, away from… all of this. Just need some space. Some me-time, you know? I shuffle toward the corner of the room, ignoring the confused stares from literally everyone.

I crouch down. Hug my knees. And then it happens.

I start drawing circles in the corner of the wall, chanting to myself, "Why, why, why… anything but this…"

The system is still talking in my head, all chirpy and upbeat. "Host, I can give you abilities! I can help you summon weapons! You won't lose to Issei this time!"

Yeah, that's the thing. I don't want to fight Issei. Or anyone. I just want to live a peaceful life, not get dragged into some anime fistfight where I'm definitely gonna lose. I keep bumping my head lightly against the wall. Maybe if I knock myself out, I'll wake up in a different reincarnation. A better one. Like, why couldn't I be some OP hero in a quiet village or something?

"Host! You should fight! You have no choice! You'll lose if you don't!"

Oh, trust me, I know. But do I want to fight? Nope. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? I'm sulking so hard that I don't even notice the awkward silence filling the room. When I finally glance up, everyone is staring at me like I've just sprouted a second head. Even Rias, who was ready to vaporize me a second ago, looks confused.

Issei's hand is still raised like he's ready to charge, but now he's just blinking at me like, Is this guy for real?

I sigh. The system's right, unfortunately. I can't not fight. It's either that or get blown up on the spot. So, I slowly stand up, still feeling sorry for myself, and dust off my sleeves.

"Fine," I mutter, "I'll fight." My heart's not in it, but hey, when you're stuck in a deathmatch with an overpowered pervert, you kind of have to roll with it.

"Atta boy!" The system's voice is way too enthusiastic for what's happening. "Would you like a sword? A shield? A fireball? Something flashy?"

"Nope," I say, slouching. "Just… just give me whatever."

I shuffle back to the middle of the room. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, judging me hard. They're expecting me to be Riser Phoenix—confident, cocky, the whole package. Instead, they're getting… well, me. A guy who just wants to crawl back into that corner and keep drawing circles.

Issei, still blinking in confusion, points at me. "Uh… are you… okay?"

"Not really," I mumble, rubbing the back of my head. "But I guess we're doing this anyway, huh?"

He squints at me like he's trying to figure out if this is some kind of trick. Honestly, I don't blame him. I'm supposed to be the bad guy here, but I can't even muster up the energy to care. I just want to get this over with.

"Okay, system," I sigh, "what do I need to do?"

The system chimes in, overly peppy. "Just say the words, Host! You're ready to fight! You can win!"

I drag a hand down my face. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just… do it."

Everyone is still looking at me like I've lost my mind. I guess from their perspective, Riser Phoenix suddenly moping in a corner and muttering to himself isn't exactly normal behavior.

But here we are.

I'm now facing off against Issei, still wondering how I ended up in this situation, while everyone stares at me like I'm the weirdest thing they've ever seen. Which, honestly? Fair enough.

"Let's get this over with," I say, bracing myself for what's to come.

Rias looks at me like I'm an alien. Issei's still confused. And me? I'm just hoping this ends quickly so I can go back to my corner.

And maybe, just maybe, knock some more sense into the wall.