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I am Peter Parker

Have you seen works about the eleventh universe? Surely you imagined a happy life there, didn’t you? Here it is, only the MC is completely unsuitable for the role of the main character who fucks all the girls. I'm sure not everyone will like this due to the MC's irritable passivity towards numerous girls, but damn, I intended it that way. In general, I warned you. patreon.com/FanFictionPremium

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52 Chs

Trouble from Phones

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***

I went to the police station to talk to the investigator about my kidnapping. Would I tell him or her that the kidnappers were hiding in my house? I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of people who could get hurt. Particularly my living space.

- Haa. - walked into the police station with a lot on my mind. - Hi, I'm Peter Parker, I was asked to come in today.

The woman working at the reception desk quickly typed something into a keyboard, then rang the phone to tell me I was here and then asked me to wait to be picked up. Being impressed by the contrast with yesterday's police officer, I could only nod and go and sit down on a bench.

A minute later, another law enforcement officer came out and smilingly asked me to follow her. Walking through the detectives' office, I felt like I was in a zoo - noise, noise, shouting, files flying across half the room, carts with documents in the middle of the aisle; only there were no animals, which makes the police station a very mediocre zoo.

- ...Well, help me! I need to know what happened to him yesterday! - amongst the voices, I heard a slightly familiar one. I hope it sounded familiar, because I'd hate to hear about a tragedy in the life of someone I know.

- How can I help you? You don't even know his name.

- Well, I gave you a description, didn't I?

- Yeah. Nice-looking guy with brown hair, wearing a yellow jumper, white skin, 16 years old. That's a hell of a description. And don't look at me like that, I'm not wasting an evening asking around the club that won't get you anything!

- Ho... - As I passed by, I met my eyes with the owner of the familiar voice.

- You?! There he is! - who pounded on the table, pointing the detective at me.

- As they say, always a pleasure, ma'am, you're welcome. - And the one just slumped contentedly in her chair with a cup of coffee in her hands, smiling at Brock's annoyed look.

.....

Entering the head detective's office, I was somewhat taken aback by the number of people in the room. It felt like I had come to an intervention.

- Please, Peter, take it easy and have a seat. We're all here to help. - ...and the feeling just keeps getting stronger. - This is our in-house psychiatrist.

- Hello. - the woman with the glasses said hello to me. I can see why she's here. - You poor thing, the kidnapping must have been hard on you.

- Not really, it's not the first time. - I left her with a strained smile.

- This is our medical examiner. - pointed to a woman with blue circles under her eyes and pale skin.

- W-we need to get some samples, you don't mind, do you? You don't mind, do you? - and why she's breathing so fast and clenching her fingers, reminds me of a voyeur.

- You might remember these girls, they gave you a lift home last night. - I waved them off.

- We don't mind giving you a lift home today!

- We don't mind giving you a lift this weekend. - I turned my head, smiling strainedly, at the pressure of the station taxi drivers.

- She's the leading physiognomist in New York. - I just noticed, but why doesn't she call them by their first names? It's like they're here for a fleeting appearance.

- Yo. - she waved her hand at me. I thought the people in her profession across the hall should be staring at you, and she's sitting there looking away.

- It's the chief of police. - What the hell is she doing here?!

- Hello. - and most importantly, why does she have a bouquet of roses in her teeth?!

- Well, it's me, Misty Knight, and she's called herself by her first name. - The one who's going to be investigating your case. So where would you like to start?

- Can we close my case? - there was a dead silence in the room, and it seemed to hang outside as well. - I'm sure they've got enough on their plate without me, right? And I don't need the hassle.

- But... Magneto's gang has enough on their plate, that's a given, and it's your right to make accusations or not... But why? - Didn't I already give you a reason? For a detective, she's got a bad memory.

- Because it's a lot of work, and going to the police, the courts, everywhere, and then repeating it over and over again with each new piece of evidence or new witness, I can't fit it into my schedule. - who in their right mind would go through all that red tape?

- Well, then. Tell me what happened and you can go.

-After a brief and sparingly detailed recounting of events--

- And I lived happily ever after, in a clean house, debt-free, the end.

- Okay, we'll skip the last 20 minutes where you smilingly shouted "I'm happy" as you left the show, because the Avengers date isn't taped until next week. - the women started whispering about who exactly I was going out with. I don't want a date, I want to go home! - Other than that, we're done.

- Can I go now? - just as I started to get up from my chair, the women started to fuss.

- Not yet! - Reacting to an elbow from the chief, Misty shouted at me. - We need to ask you a few questions... Um... Well... Did you see any interesting films the other day?

- Yeah, a great fantasy - Home Alone. But seriously, what's going on? Is there anything else you need from me?

- Well. - Misty averted her eyes, trying to shift the burden of answering to someone else, but everyone turned their backs on her except me. - We have a favour to ask of you. - Since when did people become so reliant on me? That's the second one today. - Like single women. No, let's start differently. We all have desires, right? Regardless of age or status or job. Sometimes those desires can be embarrassing. Sometimes even sound vulgar, you know what I'm getting at? Where are we going with this?

Everyone in the room abruptly turned their heads like puppets in horror films and stared at me with hungry eyes...

.....

- Phewhhh... For a second, I really thought something was wrong. - After promising to honour their request, I left the office. I was immediately accosted by Brock.

- I demand an explanation, young man!

- In writing? Or--

- Verbally! Here and now!

- Oh. - and I wanted to get out of it.

.....

I seem to have gotten rid of the effects and become a completely different person, but I still want to run away from Brock, why?

- Haa. - because I hate problem situations.

- Hey, why are you sighing? - Edna opened the door to the clichéd cafe and turned to me. - Find a table for us, I'll go get coffee...''

Without giving me a chance to choose my drink, she abruptly disappeared into the queue. Shrugging my shoulders and taking a deep breath, I started looking for a table. And found one... Thank God, at least it was without adventure.

After a series of folded napkins and other awkward attempts at origami, Brock came over with our tar-black drinks.

- I got you a creamer, in case you're not a coffee drinker. - or not all black as pitch.

- Thank you. - It's really good tar and cream.

- So? - she stared at me for a few seconds. Then she raised an eyebrow, took a sip of coffee and sighed. - Were you on something last night?

- Sort of.

- Well that explains why you're acting normal today. But what were you doing in Harlem anyway? Guys don't usually live in neighbourhoods like that. Why'd you make such a fuss at the precinct? You don't look like a celebrity, and you don't look rich either.

Hmm? How am I supposed to answer that? I'm sure the truth will only create more questions, which is fraught with problems, which is fraught with wasted time, energy and nerve cells. So you need a convincing lie? Hmm. What would a bloke like me be doing under the influence at night in a place with illegal activity? Obviously!

- I was looking for the library and got lost. - always works.

- Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And if we're being honest? - Apparently almost always.

- Honestly, don't you think it's weird that we met in a random police station in a city of millions? - Maybe we could change the subject.

- Yeah, it's like our life is a fanfic. - That's a pretty weird comparison, but okay. - Except it has nothing to do with the question I asked.

- It does.

- ...

- ... - this coffee tastes good.

- ...Do you think the silence will work? Or are you waiting for a reaction so you can change the subject again? - Brock stared at me as she finished her drink. - Okay, Sly, can you at least tell me your name?

- Peter Parker.

- Hmm. What a mundane name, like a fake name. - Am I the only one who thinks this girl has a strange impression of me? - Let me be clear, I'm interested in you. So I promise I'll find out who you work for and what dirty secrets your bosses and you are keeping.

Okay. How did we get to those words and those eyes full of contempt? Was I being too weird, not wanting to share my personal problems with a girl I barely know?

In any case, she had already left for the cash register, clearly not wanting to continue the conversation, so nothing can be fixed-.... Why is she suddenly returning to the table? Did she forget something? But why is she red as a tomato?

- What the hell?! - Edna shouted and picked me up by my ribcage and shook me back and forth.

- How the hell should I know?!

- Why did the cashier ask for your autograph?! Why didn't you tell me you were a contestant on Avengers Fiancé?! Also, you're the Pennine brother who made news after saving Joanna Storm?! - In one breath, the reporter shouted to the entire café.

Predatory looks immediately fell on us as their hostesses reached into their purses for....

- Uh-oh... - Brock blurted out, along with the clicks on the phones.

I had no choice but to put my palm to my forehead, in the knowledge that this situation too, with a one hundred percent chance of turning into a headache....

**Gina Grey**

- Hoooo... Fuhhhhhh... - in an attempt to calm myself down, I did some yoga.

Peter will be returning to mutant school today, which of course is fine and then-delightful. However, how will he come back? If with libido on display, will I be able to fix, or hide my joint...?

If he's come to his senses, then-- I don't even want to think about it, because it would be an unbelievable scandal. The school will obviously try to close, laws against mutant freedoms will gain more votes in the Senate, and all mutant organisations and supporters will become victims of bullying, at least in social networks.

- Stupid, Gina, I'm such an idiot! - You can't beat yourself over the head with this, but it's not gonna fix it.

I can already see the endless variations of the headline - "Mutant teacher tried to rape teen with mind influence". I can even see hentai memes in the comments under articles.

- How am I even...? - An even bigger problem is that I don't fully understand what happened that night.

I'm guessing that it was because of me, because of my actions, that he loosened up. But... I wasn't trying to do anything. I just got angry at his violent games and lost control..... I don't even remember what I said then, I was so emotional.

- Haa.

One good thing is the professor doesn't know anything, otherwise I don't know how I'd look in the mirror.

* Knock-knock *

- And who might that be? - I got up off the mat and walked to the door where I met him. - You...

- Hello, Jean. - bitch Emma Frost. She's the one who'd deliberately brainwash a bloke into sleeping with him. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the fat, fat one's doing.

- Yeah, it's great to see you, too. - Uggh, not only is she wearing white, but she's got her arms folded to emphasise her breasts. - The professor wants to talk to you.

- А?.. - there's no way that--

.....

- You wanted to see me? - I blurted out as soon as I walked into the office.

- ... - Charlise, on the other hand, gave me an angry look. She knows I'm screwed.

- Can I go now? - the usually obtrusive blonde said without the slightest interest in what was going on.

- 'No, Emma, please stay. I'm afraid we may need your help.

She does! But how?!

- I can see the question on your face, darling. - She followed it up by taking Peter's phone out of the desk drawer. - After the, um. I tried to get inside Parker's mind to find out what his intentions were, if the young man was a provocateur who blindly believed in propaganda. However, I did not succeed. His thoughts were a collection of random sequences: pictures, numbers, letters, that sort of thing. I got curious and tried again with more determination, so to speak. And eventually I figured out the cipher....

Was it really pointing to me?! But how?!

- It was indeed almost random pictures, numbers and letters of.... - What?!

- They were yours. - Frost had a hunch.

- They were. Dates, marking the birthdays of my school friends that I'd forgotten about, different names, and pictures from my past.... Some of which were too vivid. - The Professor looked downcast for a while before she continued huskily. - Having come to believe that only someone with telepathic abilities could have put on such an entertaining defence, I did a little investigating. Found the first of the students Parker had kissed. I went into her mind and saw her memories. I saw where it happened and I found a phone in this room-- In your room, Gene.

The words - 'I can explain' or 'it's not like that', refused to come out, so I could only confess.

- I'm sorry, Professor, for letting the school and you down. - Charlize's face darkened, dropping her head into her palms with a deep breath of thought.

- What are we supposed to do? - came out of her mouth, my recent question.

- Should we erase the guy's memory? - Emma said, blowing on her fingernails as if nothing had happened. - Sure, if we can get into his mind.

It's probably not for me to say, but is that ethical?

- ...Is there any other way? - I can't believe the Professor would agree to that.

- Well, we could work on his personality, fetishes and all, so that Jean's interference would be a pleasure to him. - I and the Professor looked at Emma like she was a monster, and for the first time she showed excitement. - Well, we can limit ourselves to his feelings, to make him comfortable, so to speak?

- ...First we'll have to find out if he's out of Jin's influence, then his mindset about what happened, and then.... Then we'll make a decision. Either way, we need to prepare, getting into his mind will not be an easy task.

We all fell silent under the weight of the atmosphere and what's to come.

- Wait, am I understanding correctly that Gina made a dog out of him? - With a petrified face, the Professor nodded. - Hilarious, Gin is a pervert, ah ha ha ha ha!...!

Ugh! Bitch! And you can't argue with her, of course, but still, what a bitch!