Surely, She Wasn't Crazy...

Li Baozhai strode into Doctor Chu's office. It was warm and a bit refreshing just like the smile on Doctor Chu's face when he welcomed her.

After a string of welcoming formalities, he asked her to have a seat. Li Baozhai was so curious she did not beat around the bush but went straight to the point to question the old man.

"Doctor Chu, is there anything that could make someone totally dissociate and lose touch with reality?"

Doctor Chu observed Li Baozhai for a while. It was not his business to know why she was asking, he only needed to give her answers but from his experience, the old doctor could tell there was more behind her question.

"Why don't you expatiate?" To his knowledge, there was a myriad of drugs that could make someone experience those symptoms but he needed her to be more specific.

"What I mean to ask is that, is there any drug that could potentially make you see things that aren't there, hear things that weren't said, even feel things when there is apparently nothing, to the point that you can't tell reality from these… hallucinations. More importantly, dissociate."

Doctor Chu nodded, "To put it simply, a drug that makes you hallucinate to the point that you doubt reality and even your existence."

When Li Baozhai heard him, she clutched her bag. She had really doubted her existence. She could not tell what the truth was. What reality was. Recalling those memories she shivered.

To make it worse, her condition went on for years and with time it worsened. At first it happened once in a while, she didn't think much about it and kept it hidden from her family members. Then Si Jianyu found out about it and tried to hide it alongside her.

It came as a shock to her grandparents and other members of her extended family when she lost it in one of the family gatherings.

They had quickly called for the family doctor and she was forced to tell them when it all began and for how long she hid her condition. Without much thought, the family doctor declared her unstable and that she was unfit to head the family.

At that time, her grandparents did not believe that but from then, it worsened. As if to prove the words of the doctor.

She held on for a while with the aid of Si Jianyu but in the end, she was kicked out of the company and sent to the asylum.

Of course, as a psychiatrist, Doctor Chu was very perceptive so he easily caught on to her reaction however slight they may have been.

Without waiting for her response, he continued, "A bunch of drugs can make you feel that way… like hallucinogens, psychedelics or dissociatives."

Li Baozhai had not really paid attention to these things so confirming the existence of these drugs was shocking. Knowing that such things existed, she couldn't help but think if she was also drugged.

To her understanding, drugs all have side effects… but there was virtually none. Even if there were, could she really have known? She took in a deep breath to rein her emotions. Her eyes encouraged the doctor to go on.

Noticing her eagerness, he explained, "These drugs can cause thought, visual and auditory changes and altered state of mind. Take for instance, LSD. It is one of the most potent mood and perception-altering hallucinogenic drugs. It is white, odourless and water soluble…"

Doctor Chu went on to explain the difference between Dissociatives, Psychedelics and Hallucinogens. Stating their effects on the body and mind.

Li Baozhai was shaken because his description of the effects of these drugs were exactly what she experienced in her previous life.

After leaving his office, she walked absentmindedly. Li Baozhai had a hard time understanding why someone would go as far as making her assume she was crazy and even taking her life.

She did not know when she got back to the car or when she was driven home.

Si Jianyu parked just outside the Li family residence, he had arrived for a while but Li Baozhai was lost in thought. He had called out to her a few times already but she did not answer him.

Soon he noticed her quivering shoulders, he turned around, she was silently crying…

Si Jianyu panicked. He had never consoled anyone before, much less his boss. What was he supposed to say in this situation?

Li Baozhai was both sad and happy. Happy that she really wasn't crazy… well, she wasn't totally sure about that but it would explain why she felt better after staying in the asylum. It explained why she no longer saw those things or heard those things before her death.

She could accept that the reason for her madness had nothing to do with her mental or emotional state.

She was thankful that she really wasn't crazy and she was given a second chance.

Then again, she was heartbroken that her condition was as a result of the schemes of some heartless individuals. What was worse was that she didn't know their identities. And to think Li Jiayi was in with those people…

Recalling what Jiayi had said to Zhuge Xia, she realized that those people might not be too far away. In fact from her tone, Zhuge Xia knew their identities.

After crying for what seemed like hours to Si Jianyu, Li Baozhai finally calmed down.

She gathered her emotions.

Even though those people successfully harmed her in her previous life, she was given a second chance. This time around, they will never succeed.

Li Baozhai patted her face with the back of her palm a few times to dry her tears. She took a deep breath in and out before smiling.

Her smile indeed was heartbreaking to Si Jianyu who watched her every action from the rearview mirror. He sighed seeing her cheer up without his help.

"Young Miss, we've arrived."

"En."

"Jianyu, I need you to do something for me tomorrow…"